Sir Creep

That's in the one I would put in the ironic deaths thread She ain't dead. The tyke should have aimed better. Didn't realize she had survived. We need something like a "Only in America" thread. Although seeing discussions about this online last night, people in the U.S. were saying it seems incredulous, and that all you have to do is add that it happened in Florida or Texas suddenly it because totally plausible. Thanks to our gun laws I think this thread about covers it, Phantom. SC

A former chairman and chief executive of health care giant Johnson & Johnson has died. Ralph S. Larsen, 77, died of cardiac arrest Wednesday at his home in Naples, Florida. SC

Despite Russian media reporting he had a heart attack, the Washington DC Medical Examiner's office today said Lesin died of blunt force trauma to his head. So whatever questions were raised, there is the answer. As for the Russian people, let that be a Lesin to you all! SC

Bill Wade, a former No. 1 overall draft pick who played 13 seasons in the NFL and helped the Chicago Bears win the 1963 championship, has died. He was 85 years old. He died of natural causes Wednesday night at The Meadows senior community in Nashville, Tennessee. The Los Angeles Rams selected the former Vanderbilt quarterback with the top overall pick in the 1952 draft. He served two years in the Navy before joining his NFL team. SC Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/entertainment/celebrities/article65256302.html#storylink=cpy

Further notes for Sir Creep: relegation is something that proper sports leagues have to create consequences for bad decision-making and awful play. Americans don't really understand the relegation process. I've tried explaining it to a few here (at work) with very little success. I thought it was pretty straightforward. Surely I have the names wrong and that part isn't relevant, but isn't it basically if you finish with the worst record(s) you get booted to League 1 and the leader(s) of League 1 moves up to take your spot in Premier League or whatever? Oh I could look it up but where's the fun in that? Anyway, I await enlightening. What I DO NOT understand is how Wigan won the FA Cup but was relegated. Now that takes some 'splainin. And at least a minor admission that that's fucking stupid. SC SC

Rubio/Kasich are pulling votes generally from Cruz not Trump. I'd expect a solid 2:1 split in Cruz' favor of those %age votes which will tighten up many existing races (still well over half) to 48-44% for Trump and heading to a brokered convention. Won't that be fun. Rubio could 'release' all his delegates to Cruz and it won't amount to much -- but won't hurt. SC Yes, I know they are pulling votes from Cruz. This is why I said Cruz will almost snatch the nomination once Rubio and Kasich drop out, but because of Trump's head start, he will lose by a small margin, Not sure where the Sanders Michigan numbers are from. Current figures are 51-47 to Sanders, but there's a decent number of votes out in the area around Detroit and that's breaking Hillary's way right now. Don't think it will be enough to win it for her, think she'll lose narrowly. Still, I'm perfectly happy to be corrected should Bernie end up with 53%. In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter much. Hillary will get more delegates with a narrow loss in Michigan and a massive win in Mississippi. It does mean the campaign will continue, and she's failed to put him to bed tonight. He'll also have considerable clout at the Convention and can probably promote a more left wing platform for the election. Which should be interesting. Trump appears to have overcome his wobble this week and looks solid again. That said, I don't think it's a guarantee Kasich fails to win Ohio. Think Rubio's done though and will lose Florida. Whether he gets out or not I don't know. I'm not sure what Rubio or Kasich's plan is. They can't win the nomination outright, but they seem keen to take it to a brokered convention. I'm not entirely sure that Trump is guaranteed to clinch the nomination before the convention. Think it's more likely to go all the way, Trump will have most delegates, Cruz will be second and it's whether either of them can make a deal with the others to release their delegates in their favour (perhaps in exchange for a VP slot as Sir Creep suggests?) or whether the RNC can shoehorn in a 'third option' to 'break the deadlock' and 'unite the party'. Mitt Romney? Paul Ryan? This is the dream moderate conservatives are still holding on to. Trump and Hillary still the favourites, but I'm hoping for a floor fight at the convention for the Republicans because...well...who doesn't want to see them implode? Fox News (I defer to them for all insight into the GOP) has many a pundit saying as the late Yogi Berra would: It ain't over till it's over. They keep informing watchers that most of the remaining states (and I mean 75%) are 'winner take all', and the majority are caucuses not primaries, and Trump doesn't do as well in caucuses and dummy said 'I don't like the caucus system' about 10 days ago, not very endearing to those states. So I again defer and although it bucks conventional wisdom -- as does watching Fox News -- I'll pass that on and say 'I reckon' Cruz still has a very viable shot. Mmm hmm. SirC Fox hate Trump and don't particularly like Cruz either. It's somewhat hilarious to see the mouthpiece of the Republican party at a loss as to what to say. They're used to bashing Democrats, not nominees of their own party. That said, I think Megyn Kelly has done nothing wrong to Donald Trump, in fact her questioning has been perfectly legitimate and he's a moron. But for what it's worth, I think they're still in pie in the sky territory. From what I can see, for the Republicans, there are 24 states still to vote, plus DC and 4 overseas territories. Of those, only Utah, plus DC, the US Virgin Islands, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands and American Samoa are caucuses. Every other state is a primary. They are correct that most of the states are winner-take-all though. North Carolina, Rhode Island, West Virginia, Oregon and Washington state are the only contests that are proportional. All those details are just from Wikipedia, so I don't pretend that they're definitive, but even so, I think they're pretty accurate. It is true that Trump struggles somewhat in caucuses, because he lacks the organisation of someone like Ted Cruz, but there have been 8 caucuses and Trump's won 3 to Cruz's 4. Rubio won Minnesota. But the real barrier I see for Cruz is simply this: In order, the biggest Republican prizes still available (and all apart from NC are winner-takes-all) are California (172 delegates), Florida (99), North Carolina (72), Pennsylvania (71), Illinois (69) and Ohio (66). Based on the results so far, it's hard to see Cruz winning ANY of those states. That's around 549 delegates, which takes Trump up to around 1000 delegates, so less than 300 away from the nomination, with another 18 states and 5 territories still to vote. Even if you can stop him getting to 1237, can you stop him going into the convention in the lead? Poor Fox... NOTE: This ignores the possibility that Kasich wins Ohio and Rubio wins Florida. I assume one is less likely than the other (sorry Marco). Should Trump win both, I don't see how he doesn't clinch the nomination, particularly bearing in mind that Kasich and Rubio would almost certainly have to drop out. Rubio had a horrendous night last night - last in 3 of the 4 contests and a single delegate...from Hawaii. I think the error re: caucuses is mine not Fox's.

Eat a few gummy bears.

Released form hospital.

A retired Roman Catholic bishop in Jackson (Miss.) has died. Current Bishop Joseph Kopacz says Bishop William Houck died early Wednesday at St. Dominic's Hospital of complications following heart surgery. Houck, 89, led the diocese covering 65 counties in central and northern Mississippi from 1984 to 2003. His tenure was marred by lawsuits against the diocese over sexual abuse by priests (yawwwn...) SC

Dr. Chris Okafor warns that the remaining half of Prophecy number 8 on his 16-point 2016 prophecy will happen sooner than later, if prayers are not offered. He also warned that prophecy number 11 on his list was nearing fulfillment if the individual concerned does not seek the face of God immediately (reference to the current Kogi State Governor). SC

Joseph Tiberino, 77, a stylish, well-known Philadelphia artist, died Feb. 19 after a yearlong illness. He specialized in murals, and won grants to travel to Greece and later to Mexico to study murals. SC

Robert J. Del Tufo, a former New Jersey attorney general and federal prosecutor who offered a lonely dissent in the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s corruption investigation known as Abscam, died on Wednesday in Princeton, N.J. He was 82. The cause was lung cancer. SC

Former Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson’s daughter, Sarah, died from a fall at her home in Palm Springs, California, over the weekend. Sarah Nelson, 46, who grew up in Omaha and graduated from Duchesne Academy, had been on and off crutches after ankle surgery. She was at home alone when the accident occurred. 1. Life Alert woulda helped "I've fallen....and I can't get up!" 2. Sen. Ben Nelson immediately considered running for office again, using his daughter's story for sympathy votes, but realized he was using her as a crutch. SC

94-year old Chilean retired General Sergio Arellano Stark has died from Alzheimer's complications. He headed the “Caravan of death” — the punitive forces of the Chilean army during the dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet. SC

I think we've established that the 66-74 range of age is about the life expectancy of a rock n roller. Yes there are outliers but they're called that for a reason. And with that, I say happy 71st birthday to Robin Trower. He may look healthy as a horse today.... but he'll be gone in three years. Will it be 2017? SC

Guy lives to 90, a full 46 years after the breakup of The Beatles..... and is a victim of a 'curse'. Could be the dumbest thread on this site (the title that is). When pray tell did this 'curse' start, when Lennon got shot? LMAO. When will 'the curse' strike McCartney and Starr? Maybe Yoko is the voodoo source of the curse, as she lives on! Pretty shitty curse what takes 46 years to kick in and allows someone to scoot 8 years past normal life expectancy. SC

When the hell have I posted a derogatory post? You've 3000 to pick from, I suppose it coulda happened once or twice. But your post herein is more derogatory than anything I've posted. SC

I've prolly looked at this thread 3-4 times now and still haven't fuck all what it's about. SC

Rubio/Kasich are pulling votes generally from Cruz not Trump. I'd expect a solid 2:1 split in Cruz' favor of those %age votes which will tighten up many existing races (still well over half) to 48-44% for Trump and heading to a brokered convention. Won't that be fun. Rubio could 'release' all his delegates to Cruz and it won't amount to much -- but won't hurt. SC Yes, I know they are pulling votes from Cruz. This is why I said Cruz will almost snatch the nomination once Rubio and Kasich drop out, but because of Trump's head start, he will lose by a small margin, Not sure where the Sanders Michigan numbers are from. Current figures are 51-47 to Sanders, but there's a decent number of votes out in the area around Detroit and that's breaking Hillary's way right now. Don't think it will be enough to win it for her, think she'll lose narrowly. Still, I'm perfectly happy to be corrected should Bernie end up with 53%. In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter much. Hillary will get more delegates with a narrow loss in Michigan and a massive win in Mississippi. It does mean the campaign will continue, and she's failed to put him to bed tonight. He'll also have considerable clout at the Convention and can probably promote a more left wing platform for the election. Which should be interesting. Trump appears to have overcome his wobble this week and looks solid again. That said, I don't think it's a guarantee Kasich fails to win Ohio. Think Rubio's done though and will lose Florida. Whether he gets out or not I don't know. I'm not sure what Rubio or Kasich's plan is. They can't win the nomination outright, but they seem keen to take it to a brokered convention. I'm not entirely sure that Trump is guaranteed to clinch the nomination before the convention. Think it's more likely to go all the way, Trump will have most delegates, Cruz will be second and it's whether either of them can make a deal with the others to release their delegates in their favour (perhaps in exchange for a VP slot as Sir Creep suggests?) or whether the RNC can shoehorn in a 'third option' to 'break the deadlock' and 'unite the party'. Mitt Romney? Paul Ryan? This is the dream moderate conservatives are still holding on to. Trump and Hillary still the favourites, but I'm hoping for a floor fight at the convention for the Republicans because...well...who doesn't want to see them implode? Fox News (I defer to them for all insight into the GOP) has many a pundit saying as the late Yogi Berra would: It ain't over till it's over. They keep informing watchers that most of the remaining states (and I mean 75%) are 'winner take all', and the majority are caucuses not primaries, and Trump doesn't do as well in caucuses and dummy said 'I don't like the caucus system' about 10 days ago, not very endearing to those states. So I again defer and although it bucks conventional wisdom -- as does watching Fox News -- I'll pass that on and say 'I reckon' Cruz still has a very viable shot. Mmm hmm. SirC

Legendary George Burns left after a nice round 100 years of age on this date (3/9/1996) 20 years ago.

Once you enter the cemetery you can find his gravestone rather easily: It's just a jump to the left.....and a step to the ri-i-i-i-ight. SC

The article states that most patients die around 7c-7d. If he just entered stage 7, that means he is expected to survive 3-4 more years, and possibly up to 8-10. (7a-7e takes an average of 6 years, and patients can survive a few more years in 7f) He ain't going anywhere in 2016. I've got another can of coffee for the homeless if I'm wrong. He's a decent pick in 2017. Mind, he's going to get the best medical attention money can buy -- those 'averages' are for common folk like you and I. He automatically gets a few months due to better care, better facilities, 24-hour watch, etc etc. Let me know when he resigns to taking generic alternatives to 'pricy' meds. LOL SC

Rubio/Kasich are pulling votes generally from Cruz not Trump. I'd expect a solid 2:1 split in Cruz' favor of those %age votes which will tighten up many existing races (still well over half) to 48-44% for Trump and heading to a brokered convention. Won't that be fun. Rubio could 'release' all his delegates to Cruz and it won't amount to much -- but won't hurt. SC

Next up: Texas prisoner Coy Wesbrook. Today is his magic day! He’ll be executed for a Houston-area shooting rampage more than 18 years ago that left five people dead. Wesbrook, 58, is scheduled for lethal injection for the 1997 shooting rampage during a party at his ex-wife’s apartment. As for the 61% of you that would keep this POS alive on my tax dollar..... too bad so sad. SC (Edit: 18 goddamn years. At a preposterously low guess of $2/meal, that's $39,420 he cost us. At a more reasonable $5/meal that's $98,550).

Kasich wins Michigan (rumours are he's closing in)....he sets up nicely as a VP candidate for one of these bozos cuz he can deliver Michigan and Ohio, not exactly Republican strongholds. SC Kasich would make a great VP choice. Only problem is...is he really prepared to be VP to Trump or Cruz? I mean, you know, he seems...like...sane...? .