TQR

Yep. Just hearing that Twitter have given him a 7-day ban. That’s unacceptable. I got the same once for calling Jacob Rees-Mogg a cunt.

Definitely some kind of manic episode. He’s still going, tweeting about once a minute, Holocaust denial has apparently featured.

He was a blue tick until yesterday! Twitter tend to remove them from accounts that put out hate speech; they did with Katie Hopkins and Graham Linehan just before they disposed of their accounts altogether

This is the precise reason why I fucking haven’t

A few today: Mark Clarke, off of Uriah Heep, 70 Iman, off of modelling and David Bowie, 65 Matt LeBlanc, off of crap sitcoms, 53 The Quim Reaper, off of DL pricks, 24

Wiley has been on an enormous antisemitic rampage on Twitter for about 9 hours today. He might just be an horrible cunt in a way we didn’t know before but they read like he might be a bit mentally ill...

No no, this ain’t stopping until I’ve heard of one of the the fucking would-be parents

Star of The Only Way Is Kensington Chlamydia Fufu has announced on Snapchat that she is pregnant with her first litter with her fuck buddy co-star Richard Cranium.

I’ve heard of two of the last ten mentioned.

Saturday: 69

Don’t be fooled by the looks that she got, Jenny from the block is 51 today

That's going to fucking give me the sort of horrifying nightmares that no type of cheese could possibly manage.

Bear with me on this. I went to the Tate Modern about 4 years ago now, expecting to find lots of sophisticated classics to ponder over. One of the first exhibits I saw was this: I've just looked it up, it's Untitled by David Shrigley OBE. Fancy not coming up with a title for this; surely the name creates itself? Now, I'm no art critic, but this is just profanity scrawled in a fire ball that's parked in front of an isosceles triangle. There's no real rationale to it, and yet many things to discuss: is this a protest at solar eclipses in general "Fuck the eclipse ", or could it perhaps be missing a comma and be the petrified utterance of someone who's afraid of the dark "Fuck, the eclipse! "? What was going through the artist's mind when he created this piece? Was he pissed? What was his reaction when he completed the piece? And, indeed, what was the reaction of the first person he showed this to - did they try and get him sectioned? I know it's fucking daft but it stood out because it taught me that even the most simple and silly things can be oddly intriguing, and also that, on the basis of the quality of the work, I could become an artist.

My mum & dad are both 49. Doing fine, thankfully. My maternal grandfather died at 70 (leukaemia). His parents both lived to 89 (mother dementia, father natural causes). My maternal grandmother died at 80 (sepsis). Her mother lived to 69 (stroke) and father to 50 (TB). My paternal grandmother is 71. She’s in absolutely amazing shape for her age, despite having just beaten cancer. Her mother lived to 81 (natural causes) and father to 86 (dementia). My paternal grandfather is 73. He’s a fat cunt, with emphasis on both those words. Don’t know how he is, otherwise. Don’t care either. His parents both lived to 81. (don’t know how either of them died). There are only two examples of a particularly early death as far as I’m aware: my maternal grandmother’s dad and her sister, who died of meningitis back in the mid-50s aged 28. Everyone else survived until a relatively ‘normal’ age. My oldest living relative is my late Nan’s brother, who is 90. I don’t know of any relatives who lived past their early 90s. From this, I’m probably looking at living to about 77. To me, that’s just about ideal; I’m not interested in notable longevity. Just more years of immobility and incontinence innit. As for the general topic of life expectancy, I only hope that if it carries on increasing worldwide it’s because of fewer premature deaths rather than more centenarians. People who make it to old age don’t need to live longer than they are doing at the moment.

Friday: 63

Disappointing innit Not my work, someone WhatsApped it to me. Anyway, it's less noticeable than the lovely, tranquil landscape of Orkney being ruined by one 5'9" skidmark.

Pictured on his Scottish tour, in Orkney for a photo op.

Oh what a shame never mind

It’s pronounced ‘day-vid ess-six’.

When several people already think you're a fucking fud after just 20 posts, do alarm bells not start ringing for you?

And an update on the grand totals because fuck it why not: (UTD as of 23-07) 1) Grim Up North - 215 2=) The Old Crem - 205 2=) paddyfool - 205 4) The Quim Reaper - 195 5) BuffaloPhil - 185 6) Exu - 135 7=) maryportfuncity - 130 7=) Paul Bearer - 130 9) redrumours - 125 10) The Unknown Man - 105 11) Kenny McCormick - 40 (inactive) 12) Joey Russ - 35 13) Sir Creep - 20 14=) Miracle Aligner - 15 14=) Bentrovato - 15 16=) the_engineer - 10 16=) chilean way - 10 16=) DevonDeathTrip - 10 19=) Youth In Asia - 5 19=) SusanStoHelit - 5

No worries, I'll do the honours. Today's score of 79 means points for moi, GUN, Paddy (one out!), MPFC, Buffalo, TUM and our holidaying host. Grim Up North: 65 Paddyfool: 65 Quim Reaper: 60 Redrumours: 55 Old Crem: 50 Maryportfuncity: 50 Paul Bearer: 50 Buffalo Phil: 45 Exu: 40 Zenny: 20 The Unknown Man: 15

BBC News says 79. Thursday: 90

You don’t have a tit...

This sounds very promising!