TQR

Excellent, well, Big Job backing his puppeteer has ended the lockdown with immediate effect. Enjoy your week everyone.

Exactly. Kind of sums up the inanity of all this speculative being bandied about in the media.

People are saying this is the moment where Big Job will either sack Cumcums or not. I'd be amazed if he did. This tweet from Armando Iannucci says it best:

A van with a big screen has parked outside Dom Cum Cum’s house and is playing clips of government “Stay At Home” messages and public reactions.

Hmm, looks about 15 years older than when I last saw him about 2 years ago.

Through The Peehole

194

At 100 and 98 it'll be like the poor mare's getting two hoover bags emptied on her.

Gash in the Attic

I'm just waiting for the day where my sat nav starts saying "After 300 fridges, turn left"

They’re the same 8-year-olds that are going to be sent back to school soon to catch Corona.

Fuck me, look at this from the govt. Why is everything so strange? I feel like I’m in one of Armando Iannucci’s cheese nightmares. “3 fridges”, for fuck sake?

Lib Dem peer Christopher Fox has admitted making an “error of judgement” after furloughing himself, and continuing to receive the three-figure daily allowance he, as a Lord, can claim. The phrase “I’ve made an error of judgement”, of course, means “I’ve consciously been a cunt” nowadays.

351. 5 points for me & Miracle Aligner. Saturday: 317

Just to be clear, this is a thread about masturbatory matters? Excellent. In any case, it’s good to see a Mitchell & Webb skit

A genuine talent.

Proof that the virus isn’t all bad.

He isn’t Leader of the Free World. He’s the President of the USA. The ‘free world’ is a term for allied countries that resist fascism. The USA no longer complies with that.

I live alone, my bollocks are like the very last knockings of a toothpaste tube.

Big Job has u-turned on this as it’s too poisonous even for one of his party’s policies. It’s going to be scrapped altogether, at long last. Good to see a strong opposition and public backlash does occasionally achieve things.

That’s a challenging wank.

Today's number according to DHSC is 338. GUN gets it spot bollock! Also 5 points to *deep breath* Me and Roey and redrumours and Miracle Aligner and Paul and maryport and Buffalo and TUM and McCormick. Fri: 360

Sounds like more of an endorsement for Moderator/Admin? There’s a handful of people who would make a pretty good Mod. Toastie, for one. Not msc. The puns fucking well need some work first.

Has any state leader been sectioned under the mental health act before? (or national equivalent)

That's the spirit!