TQR

Plumped for Prem. There's no logic behind it whatsoever, as I have cock all clue who he is.

Last time I tipped an oldie to reach the dizzying heights of 120+, she died a few milliseconds later, but Tanaka does look pretty good for it at the moment...

I saw him live in February, during which he explained the brief shaved head look (he said it was his anti-selfie look - nobody would pester him for a selfie while he's looking like a Russian war criminal). He also had the same sort of voice as the episode, the explanation for which is simply that he was at the end of an intensive 130-date tour.

Mortimer had a triple heart bypass after it was found his heart was 95% blocked, all is well now apparently. Whitehouse had stents fitted before and helped his 'stent buddy' Mortimer become less of a recluse after his surgery by taking him fishing, during which time fishing seemed such an exciting pastime they decided to televise it.

Shame, @123jeff would've had a field day

Surprised to see her scatter the ashes in the ocean, I thought she'd leave them rolling on the river.

I'm in the garden listening to someone else listening, at volume, to various Eminem tracks. It's so easy to relax, reclined, in the serene 34C sun, with a beer, to "HI" "MY NAME IS" "WHAT?" "MY NAME IS" "WHO" "MY NAME IS" "CHICKA CHICKA CHICKA SLIM SHADY"

Bracknell McCain One more; maybe James, GHW, Wouk or JP de C. This'll be a single figure year, I reckon.

@theoldlady is on fire this month! 4 points for Chiyo too; 3 to gc and 2 to Chorizo (who has overtaken me, the fucker)

She's 27 next year... *adds to provisional 2019 lists*

Kelly Jones has a mesmerising voice.

Look at this wank on the Maily Dail, saying the Met Office is declaring we're on the cusp of a National Emergency because it's a lovely summer's day out there. I know when I'm too hot. I know to drink water and not get too burnt. Don't tell me to stay indoors because it's warm outside. Piss off, Met office. Leave us. The fuck. Alone.

I love public naming things. A particular highlight of mine was when Mountain Dew wanted a name for a new flavoured energy drink a few years back, and the winning suggestion was "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong".

The good thing about exercise is that you die much healthier.

He'll be around for years yet... *waits for obit*

BBC BREAKING NEWS: A statement has been issued from Buckingham Palace concerning the health of Prince Philip:

Piss and shit. Clorox is the winner.

D'you know the worst thing is that that was a typo and I meant 66, but I've just double checked that and right at the end it's got Amy on it as well

Sorry to hear you endured it... Pretty confident about Now 65. Any advances on Now 65? Going once, going twice...

Oh you're having a bloody laugh Will. Not. Give. In.

I shall up my initial offer to Now 62. There's quite a lot of dog eggs on that album.

I did worry for a brief second that my post didn't exude enough sarcasm...

Oh tits. Right, back to it then

Right, so let's get this clear, this is the watertight evidence we have for the DoE being dead: The sartorial darkness of BBC News presenters. The (retired) man not being at work for a while. 23-year-old Sam, unemployed, from Preston confirming on Twitter to her 141 followers that royal sources close to her say Buckingham Palace will be making a statement at 18:00 GMT. Brilliant.