TQR

It all went tits up for Benny Hill on this day 26 years ago, aged 68.

I should say Bush. But that’d be obvious. So instead I’ll go even more obvious and say Bracknell afuckinggain.

So we're speculating very little change, then?

Could be! In which case I applaud his deliciously dark, sarcastic sense of humour.

So that’s a polite “not interested mate, I’m fucked already”

4th May for Babs

Marie Tussaud, off of the Madame wax works, met her maker 168 years ago today, aged 88.

Emma Morano became Moribund as she tragically passed away 1 year ago today, at the tender age of 117 years and 137 days, 337 of which she spent being the world's oldest living person. She still stands (or lies) as the 7th oldest verified person ever.

Kurt Cobain

Fucking state of that.

Blue Peter presenter Caron Keating got her last badge on this day 14 years ago. She was 41.

I'm so thankful that I have a single syllable name for the very reason that these overly familiar cuntos can't bastardise it.

Still as popular a name as ever

Every man called Grant is going to be a cunt.

That's a mid-sized Nissan SUV isn't it?

Nabi Tajima equals Lucy Hannah's 117y 248d today, therefore taking the 3rd oldest ever verified person spot

Ick. Horrid noise.

Welcome to the chamber of macabre cackles, Mark!

Have you been a Macmillan nurse for long?

Bonding with the Earth and the trees is pretty much the prosaic norm already. I'm expecting her in her last couple of weeks to just lose her shit completely and dribble on about voles fucking mushrooms while she meditates in a garden of mother slutty nature.

Thrown together with bollocks all effort, frankly. Maybe the lack of toil that went into creating my entry will help my case? We shall see... Quim's Windy Witherers (Running score total: 1,335) 1) Leah Bracknell 2) John McCain 3) Kirk Douglas 4) Tessa Jowell 5) Clive James 6) José José 7) Aretha Franklin 8) Bill Turnbull 9) Danniella Westbrook 10) George Alagiah 11) Nabi Tajima (died before start) 11) Olivia Newton John 12) George H W Bush 13) IM Pei 14) Stefan Karl Stefansson 15) Billy Connolly 16) Linda Nolan 17) Prunella Scales 18) Prince Philip 19) Sri Sri Sri Shivakumara Swamigalu 20) Javier Perez de Cuéllar 21) Lindsay Sandiford (moved from sub no.1) SUBS: Olivia de Havilland Yoko Ono Iain Lee Sinead O'Connor

Oh yes, I love listening to that clattering old arse tumour doing some serious earnin' (no 'g'). Tim Smith and Janey Lee Cunt can piss off too.

Yeah it must be brilliant, imagine the size of the lines she can do now!

Have you listened to his Talk Radio show? Most of his fucking callers make me want to kill myself out of despair.

BBC confirmation of this.