TQR

I've only had literature from Labour (who are looking like serious challengers this time) and some independent I've never heard of.

Oh, and Craig Williams (Rishi No-mark's PPS who bet hundreds of pounds on a July election 3 days before it was announced) has gone and got his close protection officer arrested. The offcer is being looked at by the gambling commission and Williams himself is under investigation. (EFA; ADHD brain muddled me words up)

Probably another Arron Banks job he's sharing. In other news, a poll commissioned by Carla Denyer's mum suggests the Greens are on course for a 500-seat majority.

Reminds me of something Harry Hill wrote about in his tribute to Sean Lock. He rang Sean when he heard he was in a hospice and asked what the hospice is like. Sean replied "Yeah, it's okay. And the sex is amazing."

Self-defeating environmental campaigners Just Stop Oil have covered Stonehenge in paint. Luckily, the paint is just cornflour paint and 2 minutes of rain will piss it all away, so I suppose that’s a baby step in the right direction from them.

"Commissioned by Arron Banks"

YouGovians were asked on Monday, "Which of these two would make the best PM?" Starmer: 40% Davey: 14% Starmer: 50% Farage: 25% Starmer: 41% Sunak: 21% Davey: 37% Farage: 28% Davey: 32% Sunak: 26% Sunak: 38% Farage: 25%

You know the Tories are fucked for good when most of their people think their future lies with past fuckup leaders like Cameron, Johnson and Truss.

Tom Tugend has once again thrown his hat into the ring for Tory leadership if (when) Sunak steps down after the election. Of course, he has to win his own seat first. But if the Tories don't win Tonbridge, then frankly it's armageddon for them.

The devastating news of the passing of Willie Mays begs the question: who the fuck is Willie Mays? Still, never mind, it's a hit. The first, indeed, for Don't Fear The Reaper who, at this rate of hits, will have a full house by mid-2038, so watch out everyone. Well bat my balls and call me Willie...it's another scoreboard: Banana - 4 Engineer - 3 GuyFromFuture - 3 En Passant - 2 Newjack - 2 Grim Up North - 2 Book - 2 Great Uncle Bulgaria - 2 Spade Cooley - 2 CaptainChorizo - 2  gcreptile - 1 Death Impends - 1 RoverAndOut - 1 Charles d’Irlande - 1 Joemoneypenny - 1 Dying Probably - 1 Toast - 1 BuffaloPhil - 1 TQR - 1 CalebH - 1 markb4 - 1 time - 1 Don't Fear The Reaper - 1 Everyone else - Naff all

Wed 19 Jun 71 John Newman — Love Me Again 59 Gotye ft. Kimbra — Somebody That I Used To Know 58 Rihanna — Diamonds 53 David Guetta ft. Sia — Titanium 46 Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams — Get Lucky 45 Florence & The Machine — Spectrum +4 39 Lorde — Royals 37 Carly Rae Jepsen — Call Me Maybe 33 Avicii — Wake Me Up 31 Jessie J — Domino 28 OneRepublic — Counting Stars 23 Katy Perry — Part Of Me 19 Swedish House Mafia ft. John Martin — Don’t You Worry Child 15 Fun ft. Janelle Monae — We Are Young 14 Miley Cyrus — Wrecking Ball  11 Avicii Vs. Nicky Romero — I Could Be The One 02 Coldplay — Paradise -6

Wed 19 Jun 58 Electric Light Orchestra - Don’t Bring Me Down 53 Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street 28 Earth, Wind & Fire - September 28 Donna Summer - Love’s Unkind 27 The Jam - The Eton Rifles 23 ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) 22 Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3 17 The Rolling Stones - Miss You +4 15 The Cars - My Best Friend’s Girl -6 10 Frankie Valli - Grease

Lord have fucking mercy. IS HE DEAD OR NOT?

Jeremy Cunt has been caught on mic mouthing off about how the Tories "aren't given credit for [their] superb record". Clearly been spending time with Gillian "Fucking Good Job" Keegan.

Ipsos’ first major Multi-level Regression and Post-stratification poll of this election has been released. It reckons: LAB: 453 (maj of 256) CON: 115 LDM: 38 SNP: 15 PC: 4 GRN: 3 REF: 3 OTH: 19 It does, however, include 117 seats that are very close. Tories are 2nd in 50 of these, Labour in 43.

Looks more of a complete and utter state than normal in a recent clip shared on SM. Like it’s been constant Wine Time Friday ever since his career imploded.

Bugger the fucking Deathlist, I wanted a hit in the upcoming Poker pool!

Tbh I quite like a lot of the next set. It's the last two groups that do nothing for me. Mercifully, they're actually quite small.

You'll be relieved to know that 2014-15 is a smaller round than the two 65-song extravaganzas we've tackled so far. It's only a 61-song round.

Fuck. Reform are getting at least one vote after all.

Maybe, if you vote for it!

Royals is neither Lorde's best song nor the best listen on this list, but by christ is it well written.

I pined for my close friend for ten years before he finally did what I never had the bottle to do. Ten years! All that time he let me tear myself to shreds on the inside and later shamble from one completely half-hearted relationship to the next, all because he himself was doing the world's longest run-up. He couldn't even be bothered to drug me (not that he'd have needed to). I dunno why I put up with the selfish bastard.

Tue 18 Jun 67 John Newman — Love Me Again 59 Gotye ft. Kimbra — Somebody That I Used To Know 51 David Guetta ft. Sia — Titanium 48 Rihanna — Diamonds 45 Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams — Get Lucky 43 Lorde — Royals 43 Avicii — Wake Me Up 41 Florence & The Machine — Spectrum +4 40 Carly Rae Jepsen — Call Me Maybe 33 OneRepublic — Counting Stars 26 Jessie J — Domino 23 Katy Perry — Part Of Me 21 Miley Cyrus — Wrecking Ball 19 Fun ft. Janelle Monae — We Are Young 19 Swedish House Mafia ft. John Martin — Don’t You Worry Child 17 Avicii Vs. Nicky Romero — I Could Be The One 12 Coldplay — Paradise -3 11 Will.I.Am ft. Eva Simons — This Is Love 06 Rudimental ft. John Newman — Feel The Love -3

Tue 18 Jun 54 Electric Light Orchestra - Don’t Bring Me Down 53 Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street 32 Donna Summer - Love’s Unkind 31 ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) 30 Earth, Wind & Fire - September 30 Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3 30 The Jam - The Eton Rifles 25 The Rolling Stones - Miss You +4 21 The Cars - My Best Friend’s Girl -6 11 Frankie Valli - Grease