TQR

Why HELL0000000 Kossers! Here for the 11th edition of Kill or Save? Of course you are. Come on in. We are exploring the top end of the UK music charts, from the 60s right through to the 00s. We’ve just rifled through a bunch of songs from the former, and decided in another nailbiter of a finale that Eloise by Barry Ryan is the best UK No.2 single. It isn’t, I mean, for god sake, there were 128 songs in the game and loads were better than that, but that’s what we decided, so be it. We learn and grow. Here, incredibly enough, we’re nearly at the end of our quest to find the best UK singles chart No.2s! Sad? Don’t be. Unless you fucking hate the 00s. No.3s are next, and who knows what other sort of superb spin-offs this game will spawn? It’s not just a game now, Kill or Save. It’s a sentient beast the DL’s music community have created and nurtured, and it’ll grow until it gets out of hand and destroys humanity itself. But before all that…the 00s. Sheesh. The 90s hangover choc full of “talent” shows, WKD and misogyny. But the music was great as well. Well, evolutionary. Sometimes. Interesting, at least. In the first half. Some of it. Look, it was something, alright? This crop should at least have something for everyone. Fancy reliving all the action? See below for links to all Kill or Save games to date: 60s No.1s; 70s No.1s; 80s No.1s; 90s No.1s; 00s No.1s 60s No.2s; 70s No.2s; 80s No.2s; 90s No.2s; 00s No.2s (you are here) (in play now!) Christmas Special 2023 KoS HoF The Rolling Stones — Paint It, Black Donna Summer — I Feel Love Nena — 99 Red Balloons Madonna — Vogue Gorillaz — Dare The Pogues ft. Kirsty MacColl — Fairytale Of New York Barry Ryan — Eloise Queen — Somebody To Love A-Ha — Take On Me The Cardigans — Lovefool For the newcomers and the forgetful, here’s how it works: - Each song starts with 20 points (whether it deserves it or not). - You can only vote once a day. To avoid any time zone confusion, please put a date (and time & time zone, if you'd like) at the top of your scoring post (e.g. “Mon 5 Feb”, “05-02-2024 00:01 BST”, whatever, as long as it’s clear.) In theory, your votes can be close together, but no consecutive votes please. - Once a day, you can award 4 points to and subtract 6 from the songs of your choosing in the current round. You can split your daily +4 and -6 between as many songs as you like, it’s down to you. - Please familiarise yourself with any songs in the list you don’t know already before voting. - Placeholder posts are allowed but not compulsory. Just put anything like "my go" or whatever and then edit that post to include the scoreboard and your scores. Once you put a placeholder, make sure you're done within 5 mins (or within 5 mins of the last person putting their scores in if there's an orderly queue). - We aren’t here to sod about with numbers. We’re here to vote based on your own honest opinions. Don’t vote spitefully, don’t vote songs just because they’re high/low on the scorebaord. Your opinions are what matters. It’s really simple. - Make sure you copy and paste the most recent voter’s scoreboard when you take your turn to score. For your own ease, ‘paste as plain text’ to get rid of the previous poster’s formatting. Then, delete their +/- scores, add yours, adjust the song’s points total and make your scores bold. As an example: 24 List Topper — Diego’s Nightmare +4 20 Didn’t Listen — Dump Me Later 20 The Ignored — Nobody Knows Me 19 Deckchair Shufflers — Faffing About -1 16 Drivel — Dreck 15 Bottom Of The Pile — Diego’s Favourite -5 Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, so I’d just like to once again express my sincere gratitude to all of our careful and attentive players who spot and correct any errors that arise from time to time. You make the host’s job a lot easier. See, below, the complete list of 208 UK No.2 songs from the 2000s. Rejoice! Or despair. Wonderful. As ever, we will start with 5 group stages, beginning with the No.2 hits of 2000/01, followed by a grand final consisting of the 25 songs that have qualified, where we will ultimately decide what the undisputed best No.2 single of the 2000s is, and the artist(s) of said song will enjoy a major relaunch in their previously doomed career, thus mercifully avoiding being presented with a plate of crocodile fandango by a giggling pair of botoxed Geordies. 2000/01: 35 songs - the last 4 songs will make the final 2002/03: 63 songs - the last 7 songs will make the final 2004/05: 37 songs - the last 5 songs will make the final 2006/07: 41 songs - the last 5 songs will make the final 2008/09: 32 songs - the last 4 songs will make the final So, hang the disco balls and fire up the dry ice machine, for it’s time…to Kill or Save.

The grapevine is awash with rumours like this. I believe them. It's not looking good. King Peggy before the end of next year, unfortunately.

Look at what's below 20: the better of the two Kylie songs, an absolute banger by Kelis, the dulcet tones of CBR and cor blimey guvnah Kate Nash. I love this game and all the players but you're a bunch of perverts.

Fri 26 Apr 28 Sophie Ellis-Bextor — Murder On The Dancefloor 27 Wheatus — Teenage Dirtbag 27 Gorillaz — Feel Good Inc. 26 Manic Street Preachers — The Love Of Richard Nixon 26 Mark Ronson ft. Amy Winehouse — Valerie 25 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 24 Daft Punk — One More Time +4 24 Adele — Chasing Pavements 22 Coldplay — In My Place 22 Busted — Year 3000 20 Coldplay — Speed Of Sound 20 Plain White T’s — Hey There Delilah 20 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 20 Pink — Get The Party Started 20 Razorlight — Somewhere Else 20 Manic Street Preachers — Your Love Alone Is Not Enough 18 Kylie Minogue — On A Night Like This 14 Taylor Swift — Love Story 14 Kelis — Trick Me 13 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 12 Jeff Buckley — Hallelujah 10 Corinne Bailey Rae — Put Your Records On 6 Kate Nash — Foundations 4 Dido — White Flag -6

Sweet fucking Christ. Useless as an inflatable dartboard.

Few rumours floating about that Yousaf might be stepping down. This guy in the comments isn’t convinced though so don’t quote me on this.

Yeah. I don’t believe for one second that the second best song on the list was Adele’s caterwauling debut.

Great, but my personal favourite is Nights in White Satin, which was a Hayward composition.

All in good time...

Looking forward to the No.3s then?

Came off Facebook about 10 years ago because I was bored of wading through so much shit to get to something remotely interesting. Stopped Twitter a year ago because some cunt ruined it. Now, WhatsApp does me social and Threads does me media. That's all one needs.

LE24 this time next week. Remember how they went for the Tories last year? Here's the YouGov voting intention poll, with changes compared to one week before LE23. LAB: 45% (+4) CON: 20% (-7) REF: 13% (+6) LDM: 9% (-2) GRN: 7% (=)

Pffft. Placeholders now have a 5-minute life span. Will write a rule (into the intro post that no sod reads)

Spit it out!

Spit it out!

Rightmove if you fancy having a nose. Doubt they'll get £2.25m.

Some of these bans are odd. I found I was banned when I went beyond 45 degrees South earlier in the year. Given than En Passant started a Gooseberry love-in I'd just like to say I'm a big fan of DL's own enema queen too

Put. him. on. ignore.

Pure tripe. But let's move on. Time to find out what is, or rather isn't, the best No.2 of the 00s! GRAND FINAL Thu 25 Apr 24 Daft Punk — One More Time +4 20 Coldplay — Speed Of Sound 20 James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado — Broken Strings 20 Kylie Minogue — On A Night Like This 20 Plain White T’s — Hey There Delilah 20 Taylor Swift — Love Story 20 Wheatus — Teenage Dirtbag 20 Manic Street Preachers — The Love Of Richard Nixon 20 Kelis — Trick Me 20 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 20 Pink — Get The Party Started 20 Coldplay — In My Place 20 Kate Nash — Foundations 20 Busted — Year 3000 20 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 20 Razorlight — Somewhere Else 20 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 20 Adele — Chasing Pavements 20 Corinne Bailey Rae — Put Your Records On 20 Mark Ronson ft. Amy Winehouse — Valerie 20 Manic Street Preachers — Your Love Alone Is Not Enough 20 Gorillaz — Feel Good Inc. 20 Jeff Buckley — Hallelujah 20 Sophie Ellis-Bextor — Murder On The Dancefloor 14 Dido — White Flag -6

This thread means that no more will one enter the extra-curricular Animal Antics thread to be amused/uplifted by, er, what the thread title promised, only to exit it more depressed having just read about a precious creature’s cancer death. Those posts can go here. This thread is dedicated to the memory of Tuan Tuan, giant panda of Taipei Zoo, who died recently aged 18.

Might be a delay for the grand final now as I'm away for the evening. Back tomorrow.

Knew it.

Just when you thought Sunak had a fucking grating register, up springs oLiVEr dOWdEn. Dowden's really, really poor at PMQs, isn't he. Rayner crushed him and his party, ground the rubble to a paste and grouted one of her bathrooms with them.

Apologies for being three days late but I only look at this thread occasionally. Can scarcely believe it’s been that long! Definitely one of the headline ‘2016 was cruel’ deaths. An absolute musical marvel obviously and his legacy will outlive all of us but he also sparked one of the funniest Twitter (RIP) moments of all time:

Wed 24 Apr 84 Jeff Buckley — Hallelujah 41 Adele — Chasing Pavements 25 Rihanna — Russian Roulette 17 Taylor Swift — Love Story 15 Kings Of Leon — Use Somebody +4 14 James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado — Broken Strings 6 Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys — Empire State Of Mind -6