TQR

Guenther Steiner, off of foksmash, is 56 today, and he’s absolutely delighted about it.

Surprising. He genuinely was a big name of stage and screen. His death’s pissed me off hugely.

Rory Bremner, off of other people, is 60 today

If you are gonna beat me, at least have the decency to make it a Squonking

Shocked and saddened. Terrible, terrible news. Superbly talented actor, comedy and otherwise. Friday Night Dinner’s getting a bit of a hammering what with Frances Cuka and Rosalind Knight also dying this past year

Principally, I’m for it. But I do have large reservations about it domestically; nothing to do with fucktards shouting “freedom” because they don’t want a jab because ooh they’re so hard. It’s the abuse that untrained staff will encounter from said idiots, and the even further extended damage that theatres, pubs and all other entertainment venues will suffer as a result of, for now, a heavily reduced clientele - their main ones, of course, being young people who haven’t yet had the vaccine offer. Internationally speaking, however, there’s no two ways about it - it needs to be done, mainly because of such disparity from nation to nation with regard to restrictions, virus presence and vaccine rollout.

Jackie Weaver has read and understood the standing orders and therefore the hype is no more. Back to me ole mate Ainsley. Can I please have my tag changed to ‘Ironically Named’?

This idiot has been here since 2008?! Fuck me.

...okay.

Graham Norton, off of that BBC1 chat show I forget the name of, is 58 today

Gulpilil - 5th May

My only concern with them domestically is that excluding people who haven’t yet been jabbed from entertainment venues will damage them further. But, as LFN said, pro-vax means principally pro-passport. It’s necessary, particularly internationally.

You mean deadsox?

Thrilling.

Cheers, and commiserations - our round very much could’ve gone either way.

Right, let’s have a look at this R3 clash: The Quim Reaper V deadsox The Quim Reaper Best performance: Quarter Finalist, 2019. Won last round against Wormfarmer, 6-0. Tony Bennett - Unique. Thought he would be. Just a hunch his dementia might be further along than we perhaps thought. James Lovelock - Unique. Legendary scientist, old. Opined that he was in the last % of his life last year, or about 1% of his life ago. Josip Manolic - Unique. I figured that I’m quite good at the Oldest Living State Leaders Deadpool and he’s my current pick in that. That’s as far as my logic got with that. Pat Martino - Unique. A name I threw in because I was most surprised he was still alive. Also picked by Joey and GUN last round so can’t be all that fucking stupid a pick. Tom Parker - Unique. Punted, just incase his slightly shrunken tumour isn’t as good news for him as we think it is. Leslie Phillips - Only me and Bib picked this cadaver. Got to be his time at some point, surely?! Susie Steiner - Am reasonably confident she’s had it, backed up further by Spade and Reptile picking her. Miguel van Damme (JOKER) - Unique. If he dies, I’ll be in a fine position indeed. But the fact that only I picked him probably means I’ve missed some good news about him. He’s probably made a full recovery and is climbing Everest for charity. Frank Williams - It’s been a sad year for motorsport so far - Walker, Schmitz, Dumfries...ah who am I kidding, Sir Frank will be fine. Stupid pick. Notes: I honestly could’ve sworn blind that you couldn’t pick people for consecutive months. In my defence, my last couple of weeks have been utterly manic and exhausting. If I’d have had a firm grasp of the rules, I’d have put Bjelland, Dole, Kasvi, Whale and Ximenez in the places of T Bennett, Lovelock, Manolic, Parker and Williams. Anyway, excuses over - I’m fucked. deadsox Best performance: Champion, 2017. Won last round against theoldlady on a coin toss, 0-0. Kat Bjelland - Yeah, probably minutes from death. Would’ve been my joker had I not made a big throbbing cunt job of understanding the rules. Rob Bolland - Unique. Don’t know who he is or why he’s here, but then I’m an amateur. Lawrence Brooks - Unique. 111, so clearly can’t be written off. Reuven Bulka - A fucking Rabbi from Ottawa who’s shitting cancer. How does one find names like this, please? Bob Dole - Yeah. Geezer has a couple of months, tops. Looked like he was about to die even before the cancer diagnosis. Should’ve featured on my team. Hester Ford - Unique. Oldest living person in the US, at 115. Figures. Jyrki Kasvi (JOKER) - Yet another name I should’ve had. A likely 6-pointer to slap me about the chops with. Prince Philip - Well, I wouldn’t have said so but plenty would. James Whale - Surprised he’s still alive. Also tossed this tosser from my team when I didn’t want to. Notes: A strong looking lineup. Only very bad luck will lose this team the place in the QF, I reckon. Not as many uniques as my team, but definitely more reasonably safe bets. I’d like to wish deadsox all the very best in his draw against either Banana or AOG (for my money, probably the former). Common Picks: Jana Bennett - Staggeringly still alive. Yu Mo-Lin - Or however it’s spelled. Popular.

Okay, so I had it in my head that you couldn’t carry over your picks from last round. So basically more than half of the team I submitted wouldn’t have made the cut. Bugger, bollocks and arse.

Just saw Peter’s tweet. Very sad indeed.

Am now submitted and emotionally prepared for the 2017 champion to Squonk the living cunt out of my team.

Admins. Bin this clown.

Yeah, I mean, I know it’s Detroit and all but the house is intriguing. Hopefully it’ll go to an enthusiast rather than the type of gormless fuckknuckle you’d find on whatever the US version of Homes Under The Hammer is. Gorillaz are quality, yeah. Albarn arguably did better stuff with them than with Blur.

Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary of this game, last day of the month and the last time I’ll be taking part. Thanks for running PB. I’ll finish off with Weds: 42 - Life, the universe and everything.

MC Hammer, off of not being touched, is 59 today

Fuck. Forgot deadline is tomorrow. Been stupidly busy so haven’t even started compiling my next round team. I’ll try getting round to it later, but in the meantime, I cordially invite Wormfarmer to get 2 hits right fucking now.

Tuesday: 63 - George Russell’s car