TQR

Monday: 17 - Heaven or East.

Details from Jennifer Arcuri on her affair with Boris Johnson have made me violently ill. The fourth point in particular “Venio! Venio! Venio! Venio! ... ... Veni.”

Scott Mills, off of Radio 1, is 47 today

Too late. Can’t be talked down. Gathering up my fellow tracksuit-wearing tanned chavs right now. Nationwide invasion starts now. You’ll hear war cries of “SHA’ AAAAAAP” outside your house come the morn.

Look what thread you’re in. What did you expect? It’s bound to be full of fucking no-marks. Very binnable, this thread.

Deeply offended at the article’s borderline racist stereotyping against Basildonians and I won’t stand for it any longer

$400k (£290k) for an 8-bedroomed detached house Where I live, you’d struggle to get a 2-bed for that.

Sunday: 22 - How old Taylor Swift feels

I’d say the direct opposite Horses for courses innit. It’s not a patch on a mild Irish accent for me!

The first defection has happened and Alba now has an MP in UK Parliament. Most likely, that’ll happen another few times, then they’ll get wiped out in the election. So yeah, pretty much an exact repeat of Change UK but with funny accents.

Keir Starmer has been approached for comment after Priti Patel appeared to spend £77k on eyebrows

Some highlights of Home Office spending during the pandemic: A lot of this is quite clearly money laundering.

David Coulthard, off of massive jaws, is 50 today

Saturday: 64 - An age where one desires to be needed and fed.

Called it you cunts.

No, we didn’t. They did. Just like they ‘missed’ everyone else who’s fucking died this year.

I dunno...make the place free of Tory, then vote ‘no’ if the referendum comes about. Keep the indies in and then snub them. Perfect satire innit.

Let’s conduct a quick poll here among our Scottish demographic here. Who thinks Alex Salmond’s new ‘Alba’ party is worth a vote in the next Holyrood elections?

This, from Cold War Steve off of Twitter, is yet another funny yet devastatingly accurate representation of the UK in its current sickening state.

Well just make sure that the next ones to emerge from the nought are not upsetting like Murray!

Friday: 55 - Carlos Sainz’s car

Agree, this pool is a good’un and I hope to see it return. Making it a year long thing would be interesting too.

22 pages, all of which have “No one fucking cares” plastered on it, and yet not one shit given by Gooseberry. Top bloke!

Filter’s done a blinding job of drawing attention to an unacceptable word within a completely innocuous one, which otherwise no cunt would’ve noticed. Great work innit. Anyone who wants to use the word ‘niggardly’ is fine, though.