TQR

Spinksy. EDIT: 10 mins after that post I'd have said Sutcliffe. But hey ho.

Norbert Stiles saves my record of at least one hit in every month this year, and takes my total to 19. QR: 19 CS: 21 DL: 15

Saturday: 290

"NOTE: This disclaimer was written by a complete stranger who was bored at work, as I completely lack the mental capacity for creative writing, or indeed I couldn't be bollocksed to write my own. God I'm useless. Not that this is necessary, of course; who actually has a disclaimer at the end of their email? Since when has that been a thing? Is this another thing Americans do to look clever or important? I mean, I've heard of people casually slipping in their job title and maybe a hand-written signature in a feeble attempt to self-aggrandise, but a disclaimer? That's taking the fucking piss. Disclaimers are a complete waste of space, as are their owners. Sure, this is a disclaimer of sorts, and yes, it's having an existential crisis, but what's the most remarkable thing here: the fact that this is a wholly unnecessary and yet self-conscious paragraph of bollocks or the fact that you're still reading it? Anyone who reads these things is clearly a pervert. Yes, you. You're a pervert. This disclaimer is on to you. We know what you've done. We have access to your hard drive. You sicken me. The authorities will know about this. Pack your things, assume a false identity, forge a new passport and hide for the rest of your miserable, unfulfilling, pointless life in the arse end of Tierra Del Fuego or somewhere, and die a scared, lonely death, mulling over all of your poor life choices, you fucking waste of piss and wind. Now get to fuck, you disgusting little cunt.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: she’s amazing. Fabulous form here.

Friday: 288

And potentially Mark Francois soon *Ahem* Who said that?

I love Christmas, but for fuck sake this stuff shouldn’t be in the shops yet, it’s still weeks too early.

Many happy ones, @redrumours! Oh, and Winona Ryder, who’s 49

...and now Corbyn’s been suspended and had the Labour Parliamentary whip removed. AT LAST.

The differing responses to the EHRC report:

Thursday: 302

Tracy Emin is in remission after she recently “had fucking cancer, and half [her] body chopped out”.

It’s definitely a sock, but I reckon it’s someone a bit more gauche than Iain. The idiocy is there though.

Bernie Ecclestone, off of horrendous little dwarfs, is 90.

The man over there, at the front, behind the desk, with the flowery tie, is 82 today

Pricki Patel on the deaths of two adults and two children in the channel: This is a bit like getting a card of condolence saying “Sorry about your Nan” from Dr Harold Shipman.

Yep, another pathetic alt. I’ve a good idea who. Their most used account is a sad twat who’s only here to stir shit, too.

How very Camden! This, though, can get in the bin.

Jesus...deaths up 126 from last week (20th October, to avoid confusion), hospitalised people up 2,683 and positive tests up 1,554. Wednesday: 262

Bold call. Try reading the room from time to time. You tried to explain away a report from September with, erm, October calendars with pretty colours. Now, quietly admit to yourself you’re a fucking moron, and put your shovel away.

Okay everyone, just accept it: 25th September falls on the same week as 27th October. Facts, people.

And re: Cat, I also miss the old fucker Was hoping he’d see these posts and then casually point out they should be in the I Miss Badegg thread