bladan

Yes send me beer ASAP. I just bought 24 cans. By next morning they're gone. I don't believe any of that health bs

Why was a hospital janitor given the sack? He was injured in a car crash and needed two amputations. By mistake the surgeons had cut both the wrong leg and the wrong arm off. Realising their mistakes they had, of course, to amputate the bad leg and the bad arm as well. (needs editing)

She has merged with the Absolute. Her death date is a numerological mystery, so I wasn't so wrong after all

Asteroid time. Asteroid in the UK

So what happens next in this idiotic soap opera

Great success! 40 pints of Bladan's Special DIY beer are ready to bottle! André the Giant could drink over 126 pints in one sitting. Let's top that

Why do they wear the same subliminal message in their clothes. White, blue and red. The KKK guy wears a cross near his heart and Trump wears a flag in the same place. White is for racial purity (sattva), red is for passion or war (rajas, as in cigarette boxes) and blue is for peace i.e. tamas, business-as-usual? No yellow (disease) and no green (nature) and no black (death), of course.

The Grim Reaper is back to his old tricks

Hallelujah, I saw this live

Well, I once crashed my car with a lorry. I had drunk one pint of beer and was speeding. I think it was the beer. Luckily no one was injured. Best of all, the police fined the lorry driver. I'm joking of course, this never happened

Misers and Nessie and so-so whisky

Old Bladey likes this. Shantel presents (in 2011) Kosher Nostra, an unparalleled journey back in time to the music clubs, vaudeville theaters and gambling casinos in the U.S.A. The sound can be described as a wild mix of swing, jazz, twist, Charleston and the adorable charm of Yiddish songs and ballads.

I only watch On the Buses

One day the Phantom found Tarzan in the jungle. He was scrawny and underweight and the Phantom was very attracted to him. During the course of their conversation, the Phantom asked what he did for gay sex. "Gay sex?" Tarzan asked. "What's that?" The Phantom explained what gay sex was and he said, "Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree!" Horrified, the Phantom said, "Oh, Tarzan you have it all wrong! I'll show you how to do it properly." He took off his gun belt, hotpants and tights, dropped to the ground and spread his legs wide. "Here," he said, "You must put it into my shit hole." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and poured a kettle of boiling coconut oil all over the Phantom's arse. The Phantom rolled around in agony. Eventually he managed to gasp, "I've got fourth-degree burns... I'm dying... What the hell did you do that sadistic act for?" "Me Tarzan, you tree! Must lubricate first!"

What did Tarzan say to a crocodile? "You're pulling my leg"

Harvey Dent walks into a bar and Batman says... why two faces?

Bay City Rollers?

How much do they charge you?

A pint of beer will fill my head and I'll forget what's been said by all the bad men this world's ever known

Only when you forked out the dough did you realize that you had a screwed a shemale

there is always a hypnotist who's trying to unlock hidden memories

But if I see it I can never unsee it

"True music is that which touches the heart, is evocative and filled with emotions(bhaav). Every note is a manifestation of God, to soak in it and becoming one with it is to seek the ultimate bliss and peace. That is what Kishoritai's music is all about."