Six

I would have jumped at the chance too a few years ago... sadly, he's a bit of a clown these days. Then again, the guy I married is a bit of a clown too, and he's not worth £800 million.... hmmm. He has written some good songs though. What to do... I guess if Paul wants me, then I'm off. Until then, I'll stay with hubby.

Things should improve now he's rid of that gold-digging one-legged witch. Absolutely.

This should help you even more! Oh wow, there's so much I'm unaware of! Thanks Bald Rick! Now, where can I get me a jacket like that?

I'm 'Upstanding'. I get 12 years and a potential fine of £2000. I really did not know that eating a mince pie on Crimbo' day was such a bad thing to do That's where my 12 years comes from, obviously.

Calum, eh? Now I have a name to go with the image... I'm so glad he'll be back soon, thanks Notapotato

Nicky Henson is on a ' gruelling course of chemotherapy and will soon find out if his tumours have shrunk enough to be removed', according to Wikipedia (...don't know if that means anything though ).

Just wanted to say that I love your new avatar, Winsor. Great stuff As for Mr Notapotato, your new image is all very nice, but it's no match for that handsome chappie in his blue jacket that I've grown to love!

You and me both, BHB.

Is this what they call a veiled compliment? I meant ' crap ' in a good way... good crap.... Another hit there, Mme D. You'll have to stop soon, or I'll have to call the collection ' Rhymes By Mme Defarge ', rather than 'Rhymes from the DeathList'.

Congrats to you, LG. All of your hard work has paid off.

You're pretty good at this aren't you, Mme Defarge . I'm thinking of copying some of these nursery rhymes down, to send to my poor ole uncle Colin. He loves this kind of crap. So... if any of you out there object to my jotting down your writings, let me know... I won't plagiarise either, it will all be properly referenced, and I'll even correct the spelling mistakes

That's a pretty good rhyme you got there Mme Defarge. I'm assuming from the content that you wrote it yourself and it's not a traditional rhyme from ancient times - I could be wrong though... maybe it is some kind of prophetic piece? Anyway, well done on an excellent peice of writing!

Happy birthday Paul, 64 today. Looking rather old and frail these days...

Try this out. I'm just about to attempt number 3. (Took me ages to figure out what I was supposed to do)... a great way of passing time whilst awaiting death** Here ** = exclamation mark.

Peter Falk will be 80 next year and he's going to be with us for many, many, many years yet. I know this. I love Columbo.

This is quite interesting too...

See Jesus. It works too** (I'm using stars, as my exclamation mark button doesn't work, ok?)

Very good TF, very good.

Don't forget the inability to use capital letters and full stops. There's some great rhyming going on in this thread, it should all be published( my exclamation mark button doesn't work, so I'm using stars instead, ok? )** I'm going to lower the tone now and include a politically correct nursery rhyme I wrote for a short collection called ' Politically Correct Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Stories for Really Bored People, Called Colin, In Hospital. '# _____ Chronologically-advanced matriarch Hubbard, Went to the cupboard To fetch her poverty stricken non-human animal companion a bone. When she got there, The cupboard was lacking in essential items And so her poverty stricken non-human animal companion had none. ____________ Hmmm. I could add more, but don't worry, I won't. # Written for my uncle, called Colin, who was in hospital and bored- though you'd never guess that from the title.

Is this for real?

' I'm not going to die, I'm going to run away.' - Wise words spoken by my dear old mother almost every day. Trouble is, she's wheelchair bound now, so needs someone to push her away instead.

I thought it was ' "i" before "e" except after "c" '?

I never even noticed that. I just looked though and he does look pretty much the same there as I remember him looking years ago. Either it is an old picture, or he's got some deal going on with Him Downstairs.

I'd be a pathologist: Pathology is the best of all specialties. A pathologist is a doctor who knows everything and does everything, but it's too late. As a pathologist, you will not only be able to avoid patients, but also nearly all living human contact. You'll find yourself bringing your microscope to the beach with you. But you will have the most humorous anecdotes to tell people when you get invited to parties. That is, if you get invited to parties. Sounds right to me!