Bentrovato

England-253, Scotland-13, Wales-8, NI-0

Old joke. What is the difference between Joan Collins and a KitKat. Answer: You can only get four fingers in a KitKat.

Right. A £3.85 bottle of Sherry from Tesco. Already had the cider etc. Now I have all the ingredients. Time to do the Withnail & I drinking game solo. Luckily I also have the pause button.

Love that man. Madness carried his coffin. Wonderful wordsmith.

Is masturbation normal? https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/is-masturbation-normal/

Black Christmas. Old but good.

Doesn't work. Bastard. Chicken pox to you.

The thing that gets me is the amount of people who have done cleaning. In particular their kitchens and the amount of out of date rotting shit they have found there. They proudly state they have some pasta from 19 fucking 79. What? This is touted as great and funny on the radio. What the fuck is the rest of their house like? Is grandma still rotting below the stairs? Are the French in raptures because you have invented a cheddar derriere la frigidoire. My God this country is filthy. And not in the good sense.

Porn

At least if he does die shortly the public purse will be saved a huge amount of money by the simple fact that the ceremony will be tiny. A vicar and Betty only. And a bloke with a shovel I suppose. Very cheap. A showcase for austerity funerals.

For those who were worried and had not been able to get to a radio recently, I am happy to inform you all that the village of Ambridge is still coronavirus free. I hope this puts some peoples worries at rest.

Inmate, 66, becomes second UK prisoner to die of coronavirus after infection killed paedophile, 84 66-year-old man, who had an underlying health condition, died in hospital today Inmate serving at HMP Manchester was second UK prisoner to die from infection Edwin Hillier, 84, became the first UK prisoner to die of coronavirus on Sunday It comes after 19 inmates across 10 UK prisons have tested positive for the virus Coronavirus symptoms: what are they and should you see a doctor?

Weren't they all named after the Battenberg cake at some point?!! haha

(from the BBC) Rwandan who breached lockdown ‘killed by crocodile’ A man in Rwanda who breached the ongoing lockdown to reportedly go fishing has been killed and eaten by a crocodile, the mayor of the southern Kamonyi district has told the BBC. Alice Kayitesi said the Wednesday morning incident happened in the Nyabarongo river. "He had broken the stay-home rule, he’s among very few people here who are not co-operating with the lockdown to stop the [corona]virus," Ms Kayitesi said. The authorities in Rwanda imposed a total lockdown on Sunday as cases of Covid-19 continued to rise. The East African nation has confirmed 40 cases so far, the highest in the region.

Damn shame. I love those books from childhood to this day. The first bit of latin I ever learned was because of those. Alea jacta est. RIP.

Fair enough. I will give it a go anyway. Both in answer to your question. To be honest there seem to be a lot of lists knocking around on other websites/social media sites. A lot of them seem to be French authors who I have heard of but never read. Seems to be a lot of end of world feeling from across the channel. Amongst readers at any rate. A lots of books about suicide as well. Alvarez: The Savage God: a study of suicide, seems to be a popular one.

Read this a few weeks ago. Just after reading Dorian Lynskey's The Ministry of Truth: A biography of George Orwell's 1984. Both well worth it. Especially as we are now moving into being a full on totalitarian state. For a while anyway. Maybe.

Don't you have one of these yet!! Dog sound translator that helps you identify your dog's feelings with the touch of a button. Get closer to your dog with Dog Translator, application. https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/dog-translator/id1209845479

Just take care out there. "PLAYING A BLINDER: Millions of Brits ‘at risk of contracting “Porn Eye” during coronavirus lockdown’ https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11229230/millions-of-brits-at-risk-of-contracting-porn-eye-during-coronavirus-lockdown/

Toast talking about bread. Haha. Fuck its going to be a long couple of weeks if that amuses me. Put a round in the chamber......

Spain has now overtaken Iran on the number of deaths. All too close. Mind you, that makes skiing hols in Tehran cheap and Marbella next to nothing. But how to get there.

Oh God it has come to this. I knew it would end so. It was either Alzheimers or early onset dementia. How I long for the days when men were men and the only virus you got was after a nice evening with a woman. But it all has to end. It reminds of the story from Africa about the three lions that were eaten by poachers...…..

Three ‘Rhino Poachers’ Eaten By Lions After Breaking In To South African Game Reserve https://12tomatoes.com/gfl-lions-eat-rhino-poachers/?utm_source=bcglp-animals&utm_medium=social-fb&utm_campaign=gfl-lions-eat-rhino-poachers&fbclid=IwAR3ZRPThF8PU9TfjQ9kEVVWZuMcaRy77l8FEi-l5gEqoDGD5r4ALYV1CbvU

1. I'm sorry = the pubs are closed 2. sad = the pubs are closed 3. chaotic world - the pubs are closed 4. to remain = the pubs are closed 5. positive as possible = the pubs might open again