Lard Bazaar

Okay, let me try to "diffuse" [sic] this and paraphrase what I think you are trying to say. "I have misinterpreted people having a go at me and I actually think they are supporting me. I admit I'm thick, but I don't like it when someone says so. To contradict what I just said, I am not thick, I just have remedial writing skills. I am proud that I cannot communicate and I don't use the basic tools available to me to help. I claim I think it's fun when people see my infantile writing, but obviously I do get annoyed when people point it out to me. My original point was to ask about something I don't understand and if I wasn't too lazy to get off my arse and look into it, I still wouldn't have a clue about, so I thought I'd ask someone who actually is clever and isn't lazy like me. They could explain it so simply that even I could understand without having to think for myself. I do not understand why honez is annoyed I asked for someone to spoon feed me this information, using atrocious English. Yes, I write sh*t, and I'll prove it with the last bit." I think that helps clear your post up enormously. To help answer your original question, the experiment accelerates protons, smashes them together and looks at what comes out. Why? Because it will allow a better understanding of the fundamental building blocks of the universe. Will it kill us? No - the mass of protons is very small, and (as anyone with basic general knowledge knows) seeing that E=MC2, if the mass is piddly, then the energy isn't going to be able to pull the skin off custard. Now, if you'd asked your question coherently in the first place, this would have been the kind of answer you would have received. Seeing as you couldn't be arsed, then no-one else could. Your language skills really are atrocious and you should be ashamed of communicating like a five year old. The only medium we have on this forum is the written one, and if you look like a five year old, or retarded ten year old, when you use that medium, then don't get all uppity when people treat you as they see it. To use an example, if I was attempting to communicate through the medium of music, yet couldn't be bothered to put the notes in the right order, used the wrong key, didn't use the same musical notation as everyone else and could barely play my instrument then I'd hardly expect a warm reception when someone took the time to listen to my music. Are you the ghost of Eric Morecambe? He played all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

And what is it about dyslexia that prevents people from: 1. Using capital letters at the beginning of sentences, and a period at the end. 2. Cutting and pasting their message into Microsoft Word to make use of its "spell check" function. Agreed, but with the utmost respect Dr, you appear to be listed as from Salisbury (just down the road from me) - so surely you mean 'full stop', not 'period'? ;-)

Can anyone recommend a decent B+B in Blackpool? I am hoping for a dirty weekend there in October.

Here's a question to ponder. How come every person that comes on here for a rant about something or other always claims to be dyslexic when their atrocious grammar and spelling is pointed out to them? And who gives a sh*t anyway?

From that Wiki page 'The company is controlled by Koç Holding, one of Turkey’s largest and most prestigious groups'

How was Turkey, LB? Bootiful? It was very hot. I spent much time sat by the pool under a tree drinking beer. It wasn't a particularly active holiday, more a nice relaxing do nothing and ponder my life holiday. I saw Ian Botham at Bristol Airport and a chain of shops called Arcelik.

Err, Jade. It's Jade Goody.

Radio star Peter Coke no longer fizzy.

That was the Independent's headline....any suggestions for what the Sun would have come up with? Well that's easy - 'My pussy is riddled with disease'.

I'm going on my summer hols to Turkey on Sunday for two weeks. I've never been there before but it's jolly hot at the moment, and it's all inclusive, so I will come back looking like Mr Blobby. Fat and pink.

.....by Carol Vorderman? Without her ear-piece prompting, I don't reckon she'd be able to count "six of the best" in any case. She didn't have an ear piece when I was on it, but there was a fat bloke sat just out of shot doing the sums with her. And yes, I got a consolation prize goodie bag, dictionary, tshirt, cup, board game etc etc. And in my first selection of letters, you could make 'wank'.

As a contestant or in the audience? Contestant. Got beaten massively.

I've been on Countdown.

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century? I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere. I think (s)he is implying that you move away from the tranquil, beautiful, idyllic countryside of Wiltshire and move to a crowded, polluted sewer that calls itself a city where the odds of dying from a chav inflicted stab wound are vastly increased. (Portsmouth is not too far away, should you decide to heed this advice. I doubt they'd even be able to identify a horse at 20 paces let alone spell it) Believe me, the Wiltshire town I live in is Chavsville - but not as chavvy as a town about 9 miles away, where quite recently a boy was admitted to hospital with head injuries following tripping over his own buttock-skimming trousers. I laughed like a drain. I wish I could find the link to the story, it was in the Wiltshire Times but I just can't find it. Here is is! Stupid chavvy twat

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century? I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere.

Can I take this valuable opportunity to type the words 'Slobberdown Mycockyabitch'. Thank you.

He'll be out in 9 months, I don't think she'll top herself over it.

I voted to keep him, so that makes Keepers 3 Ousters 1. However after I voted, he then told the biggest fat f*****g lie ever by saying he doesn't PM people, so now he can go and eat sh*t.

Alternatively: Whats pink and covered in cobwebs? Lardys Fanny (well you did say you havent had a shag in ages Lardy!!! ) Good Lord! Talk about lower the tone! Jokes about children who have possibly been kidnapped by paedos I can cope with, but middle aged lady's fannies - that's just too much!

What's pink and covered in cobwebs? Madeline McCann's bike. This joke has been brought to you by popbitch, much the same as the last joke I posted, and probably the one before that too.

Paul Newman Eyes? reminds me of the song "Dickie Davis Eyes" by Half Man Half Biscuit Gary Gilmore's Eyes by The Adverts?

Because I'm a lazy cow I can't be arsed to look - hasn't OoO done an interview for this show? Or is that another show entirely? Or am I just making the whole entire scenario up?