Lard Bazaar

I'm in - bagsy I get to kill Daphne - firstly I will torture her in a cold, dark room with a tape running of a little old lady's voice saying 'It's Eyes Open by Snow Patrol' - how the f**k did she know that answer the other day, you cannot seriously expect me to believe that a 94 year old knows anything about the modern day hit parade. Then I will pull out her little old lady's hair follicle by follicle, then I will beat her around her mouse-face with her pension book, and finally I will cave her head in with my 26-volume set of Britannica's Encyclopedias. And why is it always old people - I was on Countdown and got totally shafted by an old bloke. Then we filmed the show. Boom Boom.

Rotten Ali perhaps? I know what you mean. The rest of them just get on with it but him - no! He does that thing with his eyes whereby when he answers they are either shut or fluttering. He is a w**ker. What really annoys me about him is the way he violently shakes his head to signify yes or no on the panel before the answers are told. God, he is a prick! Thanks for reminding me how much of a smug prick he actually is, harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy. It's a pleasure, Windsor. I'm delighted it took less than 2 hours for someone to back me up on my tirade against this miserable mofo and I'd be overjoyed if any other CJ haterz (is that what you youngsters say?) in DL land wish to express their dislike of this overweening nonentity in due course!! I completely agree - CJ is a complete twat. Daphne needs to die, because she is at least 143 years old, her little old lady voice seriously f**ks ME OFF - Chris is a bald headed knob, who can't just answer a question, he has to give a running f*****g commentary on WHY it's the right answer - Kevin is plain boring and Judith looks like she hasn't had a good shag since Winston Churchill ran the country. I f*****g HATE the lot of them, the challengers were ROBBED today, and Dermot Knobohan needs a shovel placed with much force directly to the back of his head. Having said that, I do watch it every day.

A drugs overdose

I totally believe the Hoff, especially after seeing the vid his 16 year old daughter filmed of him in a mild state of incoherence Hopefully KITT took him home this evening Seems only fair that Reagan screwed up their names, as didn't Diana get Charles' name wrong at their own wedding? Yes, but this is the only place I can find the order in which she said his names

Is this it?

Diego leaves clinic

Some people need a good slap.

This is a well-used saying in our house, usually the night after a meat feast pizza or a night on the ale - 'Jesus Mr L, my ass must look like the flag o' Japan'. And I still subscribe to Viz. Oooo me Chalfonts. I think that Viz had to stop the Nobby Stiles' piles strip when the World Cup hero threatened to sue. Really, some people have no sense of humour, although I must admit Viz isn't as funny as it used to be. But I plod on, year after year, still subscribing in the hope that I will stay young and hip by learning all the Profanisaurus entries.

Not dead

He's seen some interesting things in his time.... He must have seen Princess Diana's twat...... He was the one stood next to the bed with the big ears. Boom boom.

My grandad once had a dream that he put everything he owned on a horse called Bread of Heaven, and it won, so of course ever since we have looked for a horse with that name. Never found one, but I did find one called Garden of Heaven, so I put a few pennies on it and won fifty quid! This was a while ago when I was a benefit-scrounging single mother, so I was rich and able to go and buy more fags and nappies.

I reckon that's cack. He only had the wimpy type of meningitis, I think the death rumour is wishful thinking. Although I think he's all right, his wife's a dog, he's just been dragged into the merry-go-round of nastiness that is Jordan. Or perhaps he's a twat. Who knows?

This is a well-used saying in our house, usually the night after a meat feast pizza or a night on the ale - 'Jesus Mr L, my ass must look like the flag o' Japan'. And I still subscribe to Viz. Oooo me Chalfonts.

My uncle is a Dick at the relatively young age of 43. Not famous though.

So he really will be a graveyard smash now.

I've got mine so don't need to, guess which one is me (I don't think my profile pic will help!) Are you third from the left in the front row?

Apparently David Beckham has been asked to drive Alan Ball's hearse............... he's the best at delivering dead balls.

I'm the same - I think there's something fishy about that test.

Val Doonican ? fit as a fidel and still performs, Is that fit as a Fidel Castro?

How old are you? 33.

you have a bit of a big gob there scouser, think you best write an appology to all mancs, (think hard before you reply sunshine, or current pot will be nil). Who's the best, Mancs or Scousers? There's only one way to find out...... FIGHT!

Guardian link here

The house across the road from me is named 'Tardis' and has a Tardis in the garden. I haven't met the occupants yet as I've only been here a couple of weeks, but no doubt they are knobs.

Clots?

Were you perchance on this episode? I don't think so, Carol definitely wasn't wearing pink that day.