Lard Bazaar

Surprisingly Axl was really very good!

And smoke in the corner and get fingered behind the 100 year old piano.

I fucking love the Macc Ladds. I have no idea why my auto correct gave that two d’s.

I’m going for Arthur Philip Charles.

He’s a great entertainer but what in holy fuck possessed him to butcher his face like he has?

The resemblance is uncanny!

Like him or not, he was very good at his particular brand of entertainment, hardly ‘talentless’ or ‘vacuous’.

My old man calls my minge Mavis.

WAIT! I think I know! Is it Barry?

Heart attack or suicide I reckon.

He’s moved into his dead area.

Gutted.

Why so shy? I think Ballbag is a great middle name

Fern Britton has tweeted in the last couple of hours that her mum has died.

My daughter's middle name is May not through lack of imagination but because it goes well with her first name, which is not common but certainly not daft. I don’t know why I bothered though because I usually just call her Bellend, Jugs or Egg.

Even though I’m extremely young I also think Spike Milligan was very funny.

Slobberdown Mycockyabitch

Kid has just reminded me there was a girl at her nursery called Treacle. And there was that awful dog on The Voice a year or two back who’s parents actually named her Truly and you guessed it, middle name Scrumptious. What a pair of cunts they must be.

Here in Wiltshire it’s a lovely sunny day, ideal for laying in bed with a hangover waiting for a bomb to drop on my house.

I have zero knowledge on bombs and shit so my question might be stupid and I’m prepared for ridicule but surely if you drop a bomb on a place that has nuclear stuff then the nuclear stuff will leak and kill everyone anyway no?

I was born in 1973 and there were shitloads of Emma’s of around my age. One in particular was a right slag

I have nothing in particular against the name Barbara, except for the fact that David Mitchell and Victoria Coren named their daughter Barbara. She is now about 3 years old. And called Barbara. Who the fuck names a baby Barbara in this day and age? A pair of cunts, that’s who.

There’s an obit in our local paper for her because she lives just down the road, and that’s the first time I’d heard of her. Stories like this used to elicit a sliver of sympathy but there are so many ‘ooo look at me I’m dying’ that I find it hard to give a shit any more.

13 time TT winner Bruce Anstey diagnosed with cancer - ‘multiple tumours on lung and one on the spine’ http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/northern-ireland/43718942

No, that’s disgusting. I just have a massive set of balls.