VileBody

Show me a man who laughs in the face of defeat and I'll show you a black chiropodist with a sense of humour..... Think about it...

As I said yesterday - there are a range of dates attributed making the CP between 76 and 81. Anyway apparently he's a sick f*cker - probably in every sense of the word. I think he sounds a good bet for next year. Can you begin to imagine what these people must get up to in private?

You're a little clever-clogs! Fair cop, governor.... Age is relative to what exactly? I thought it was generally relative to knowing when you were born... It just strikes me as fairly remarkable that these stone-age goat herds who happen to own most of the world (or at least SW1) don't even know their own sodding birthdates....

So let me get this straight. They have this high tech plating on the shuttle which stops them turning into chargrilled burger on re-entry. It presumably takes a gazillion dollar factory plant about 6 months to make this stuff and stick it on the bodywork. They're now going to rummage about in the tool box to find some spare plates that are sort of the right shape. They're going to get them to fit using the commander's nail file, then they nip outside with gloves the size of baseball mitts and a tube of superglue and everything'll be fine... Yeah. Right. I return to my earlier point - glad I don't drive the bloody thing

Has anyone noticed that no-one's got a clue how old these Saudi maniacs actually are? I've seen the age of the new Crown Prince given as 76, 77 and 81 so far - and that was only in the first 3 articles I read about it! Sad to see such great statesmen and goat herds pass into the hereafter...but this was a bad miss

Have I missed the thread wailing about how ON EARTH we missed this lovely charming world leader??? By the way has anyone noticed that no-one's got a clue how old these maniacs actaully are? I've seen the age of the new Crown Prince given as 76, 77 and 81 so far - and that was only in the first 3 articles I read about it.

Yes you may be right - but I rather doubt it given that I believe they have to do a wee bit of training before they fly the thing. Or maybe they don't and that's one reason it keeps crashing. Mrs VileBody says that she wishes I had a very large private income...

I think you may be confusing Henry I (the lamprey gobbler) with the Duke of Clarence who allegedly (ie as suggested by the Tudor propagandist, W. Shakespeare in Richard III) was dropped in a "butt of malmsey [wine]". Note, however, that this was after being stabbed rather than as a method of drowning him.

Quite a lot of other astronauts have died in jet crashes when they fly themselves between training centres etc. Apparently they tend to like dogfighting with each other in supersonic fighters for a laugh.... Anyway, glad I don't have to drive the bloody shuttle for a living. Bet I get paid more than those daft buggers too....

I'm no engineer but you'd have thought a basic requirement of most forms of high speed transport is that bits don't fall off it too often. Maybe better glue? According to Tom Wolfe's book, The Right Stuff, the original astronauts had a much higher chance of dying when they were test pilots on prototype jets than when they were doing the space missions - the remaining test pilots got quite pissed off about it not surprisingly. Isn't it nice not being hungover sometimes...

Presumably guys like Spencer are getting on a bit (already gone??). After all 70's snooker player must be one of the worst health life-style choices going other than coal mining and bomb-disposal. Oh, and darts.

I suppose you wouldn't know if you were coming or going....

Posh and Becks are met by their driver at Heathrow on their return from a week in New York: "Stay anywhere good in New York, Mr Beckham?" "Yeah, it was like really nice - I'm trying to remember its name...here, I know, wassa name of that famous London railway station?" "Er, Waterloo, Sir?" "Nah...not that one..." "Charing Cross? Paddington?" "Nah..." "Kings Cross? Liverpool Street? Victoria?" "Victoria! That's it, brilliant! - Victoria, wassa name of that hotel what we stayed in?"

Roy Kinnear was killed falling from a horse during the shooting of The Return of the Musketeers - but not Scandinavian...or American

Isn't this meant to be Alzheimer's rather than Parkinson's....? Maybe I've missed something.... By the way, re frog's I don't think it's more interesting than that they eat frog's legs - cf: "garlic-chewers", "snail-eaters" etc

I'm sure someone has done this before but the average death age for the last few years (lists since 2001) is 90. If you take out the cancer victims (ie. Everson, Sheene, Diamond in their 50's) the average comes up to about 91-2. So unless you've got warning of a terminal illness there's not much point backing anyone under about 85 in my view. This also supports my long-standing blathering about celebs living longer because they tend to be rich and able to afford medical care, good diets etc.

I always thought it rather touching that John Le Mesurier found life without drink so miserable (and, as you say, he looks it in the later TV shows) that apparently his family all went along with him going back on the bottle in his final years so he could have a happier, if shorter life!

I hate to state the obvious about Clive Dunn, but when he played the coffin dodging Corporal Jones in Dad's Army he was in his mid-forties and, er, wore a lot of make up to look like he was in his seventies....it's hardly likely you'd have got a 70+ actor to do some of the stunts Jones does in the show. Most of the other actors pretty much played their real ages (I think John Laurie was the oldest, being already 70-something when the show started in the 1960's. I believe he had actually more or less retired after a long career as a serious classical stage actor when he was cast). Anyway, the point is that while the great Mr Dunn may now be within range of Death List candidature, it was a bit premature putting him on in the '80s when he was barely 60. Confusion seems to have arisen out of his making a career from playing old gits and overlooking the fact that he was 20-30 years younger than his contemporaries in Dad's Army. Of course the other reason he has outlived most of the rest of the cast is that many of them were heroic drinkers of the old school and were not likely to last that long anyway.

Not quite. Solti died on 5/9/97, Diana on 31/8/97 That's right - same day as mother teresa then! God, they were dropping like flies that week...those were the days...

Didn't Georg Solti die on the same day as Diana?

I'm sure we all recall the classic moments of the Emlyn Hughes experience last year. To fill the current tedious wait, whose death and subsequent discussion on the DL site would cause a similar degree of howling outrage across the nation and shameless hilarity here? A few suggestions... Paul McCartney Um.... Actually I don't think anyone's going to get close to the amount of drivel that his demise'll set off. And he's another Scouse git. Any better ideas?

urgh....

New England's Sons Lack Overseas Nous? Boom, tschah!!

If it looks like a Womble, sounds like a Womble and walks like a Womble, it probably needs another couple of minutes in the microwave....

While we're on the subject of Paul McCartney, I read yesterday that the late and blessed Linda arranged to have her £150m estate probated in New York through some fancy tax planning. Despite having lived most of her life in the UK the estate was therefore exempt from Inheritance Tax. This meant that Sir "I-want-to-help-little-black-babies" Paul and the gorgeous pouting Stella were better off by about £60m. At the expense of British taxpayers, ie: me and the other bloke who doesn't work for the Government. Who will now no doubt have to cough up even more dough to buy a couple of extra Mercs for Robert Mugabe. Just to put all this crashing hypocrisy and naked greed in context, the first Live Aid raised £50m.