Monoclinic

Oooh, dunno, it's party time of a night in the Miner's Arms. We gather round the telly, watch the latest news about devastation and depression in the once prosperous south the England, raise our glasses and shout.....Y-E-E-S-S-S-S!!! Is that the village telly?

This has reminded me of Monday mornings at primary school when you had to describe your weekend. I was taught never to start a sentence with and. Finishing with and doesn't look any better.

$witz€r£and has lots of guns. Those who carry out their annual two week holiday military service in a capacity that requires gun use actually keep their guns all throughout the year. Then again they are probably all safely locked up in the gold vaults that come with every house. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_coun...y_gun_ownership I null voted out of curiosity for the scores.

Do you have a clean licence?. The end date is 30th April 2009. This is the link to the application form . Good luck. There are also other locations. The search engine is here.

Seeing as pancreatic cancer seems to be everyone's favourite cancer perhaps this thread could become the pancreatic thread. In here DDT could share his medical expertise on the various forms it takes. He seems an extremely sage farmer. I think he also has an in depth knowledge of pharmaceuticals. Apparently squid have pancreases (pancreata?) too.

Of course not, we are all seriously committed to this site. Sarcasm, irony and satire will not be tolerated. Yes, last night, I ate his fettuccine alla fagioli* di fava with a nice Chianti. * wikipedia-Babelfish so help me God.

How does one feel subconscious? I think your account has been hacked Mono -- poor spelling, mistakes, and religious idolatry -- hardly what we've come to expect of our very own member of Occam's Razorgang. It must be the only logical conclusion I'll say ten Our Fathers, five Hail Marys and the word self-conscious written out 2,000 times willl be on your desk by tommorrow.

Doppelganger, how? Any suggestions, bar Latoya??

Dave and Scott will probably lend you their "girlfriend" if you ask nicely. She's the one in the lemsip adverts, apparently. I don't know about controlling mothers, nor low self-esteems (Banshees thinks highly of himself for starters) but I too would hazard a guess that most of the DL community live at home (some in a 'home' maybe, again we're talking the Scream here). There are not many homeless people with broadband.

You got off lightly, I joined a queue and ended up being dunked in a bath of cold water by three nuns I saw that queue after the cave and thought no, I'm not falling for the same trick twice. There's no space mountain at the end of the queue!

DL Confessional I too have been to Lourdes. Note for full impact go as close to the 15th August as you can possibly manage. It is at it's busiest (tackiest?). Special train loads of pilgrims from Italy, people on route to Santiago de Compostela and people just wanting to nose around. The things I found the most amusing, aside from the plastic Marys and 5L water jerrys more commonly seen in Halfords containing screen wash or engine oil, were the gianormous church reminiscent of an underground car park, dank, gloomy and made of concrete and the water taps similar to those at Glastonbury. A long pipe (rising off of the mains?) with several push button taps along the pipe where they fill up the aforementioned jerries. Now, being British I happened to find myself in a queue. Not wanting to appear as if I were pushing in, I decided against wandering to the front to see what said queue was for or what it entailed, I just waited patiently to see the "cave". It was only when I was nearing the front that I realised everyone was touching the cave as they walked around. Too late to pull out (how very catholic) I had to go with the flow. Feeling subconcious I cracked and towards the end of my walk around the cave I put out my hand to touch the wall. The main reason for the reflex? The throng of people who sit and pray (and watch) those walking around the "cave". I felt like an imposter. Which as some might say that in escence Lourdes is full of Charlatans, I technically wasn't out of place, semantically speaking. Couldn't see go bathe in the Ganges instead with all her friends?

They have TV licenses here too. And licences for car radios. It isn't unique to the UK. Google it, some geek on wikipedia has probably compiled a list.

Well I'm on Level 2 for both numeracy and literacy. But I was too thick to find where on the site it tells you what Level 2 means. Someone with a lot of time on their hands could deliberaltely make loads of mistakes and probably still pass Level 1. It's just trying to engage the future McDonalds staff that they can "achieve". Level 2 is not much more than being able to do the same test, but actually using a pen and paper. It's all pointless. There are teenagers who deliberately excluded themselves from school, but as soon as a whiff of money for turning up at classes when they're 15, they can't get there fast enough. Unfortunately, their idiocy is so entrenched, that they feel their attendance is sufficient, disrupt classes and have an unrealistic arrogance about where they really are in the scheme of things. However, the government seems to be happy to pay out this money (and the teaching institutions) just to keep them off the unemployment statistics. These morons are still trying to grapple with the move-on.org.uk test and ARE STRUGGLING TO DEAL WITH LEVEL 1. In my version of a New World Order, I'd identify these dregs of society early on and remove them from the arduous learning curve of primary education. Perhaps McDonalds could start building work-related schools. The mantra could be "Would you like fries with that?". That is all that's required for the majority of McDonalds' staff. Of course, I discount the students who have to do what they can to get through college. For the other workers, I doubt I'd ever see a response here and if so , I'd probably need a lot of help deciphering the txtspk. I am sorry but I have to disagree with your new world order. It is a truth universally acknowledged that pupils develop at different rates. I know someone who didn't do so well at A-Level but still got a PhD from Cambridge after doing really well at their first university. There were also people doing PhDs with me who got into university through having completed an access course having missed out on their A-levels. I also have to say I went in the other direction at uni owing to an allergic reaction to studying outside of lectures, and a love of "socialising", another common phenomenon which arises from easy GCSEs that require little revision to pass. Luckily for me I got through uni and pulled my socks up to complete my postgraduate studies. In short, adult education is important as is getting through to disruptive kids. What's the phrase I am looking for, a bad workman always blames his tools. Perhaps we need to focus on teaching methods.

Was the sun out or something, seemed to me a one-upmanship on sunglasses. One shouldn't be afraid to cry nor being snapped by the paps crying. It probably would be good publicity for the a to z listers out today. Nice basket. Impressed.

Contrary to popular belief

Do you have the skills to pay the bills? The government (UK) seems to be harping on at the moment about us adults not being able to work out simple questions that 11 year olds can answer, here's the test to see if they are talking about you.

The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Was this the chant perchance? Or perhaps ?

Would a kebab skewer do?

***WARNING SERIOUS POST*** And Vodka is always best served out of the freezer so perhaps he should take a bottle in with him. In case it doesn't work there's the fallback plan.

In Essex they take two tests to see if they're expecting twins. Taxi!

I already am, have had one warning so far. All because I called someone thick. They're so goddamn sensitive over there. Just had a closer look at that site, there are many posters there that put our esteemed mpfc to shame and within less time. Some having post counts in the tens of thousands is sheer dedication. How do they find time for their weak lemon drink?

r u saying brave jade dont deserve 2 threads, u scum, u deserv to die from aids, poor jade i luv her and her beautiful boys, angles in heaven xxxxxx Sorry. Would they be East Angles?

If it's in the Sun, it must be false. Put me down for April 7th, but I still think she's a big fat faker. I'm afraid Banshees has beat you. If you like the 6th or 8th are free depending whether you want to come before or after Banshees ?

Happy birthday Pooka!

Jade Goody has proved your hypothesis right Banshees.