Monoclinic

Misunderestimated, as in "They misunderestimated me." --George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000 or miscalculated, as in "They have miscalculated me as a leader." --George W. Bush, Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000 or trustworthiness, as in "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." --George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000 More Bushisms to be found here.

Riddle 3 You're in a room. In this room are 12 gargoyles each guarding a safe. In one of the 12 safes you will find some treasure, the other safes are either empty or contain a boobytrap, opening one of these boobytrapped safes will kill you. To help you determine which safe contains the treasure, each one of these gargoyles gives you a clue. However, you must take care, these creatures do not always tell the truth. Those which guard a boobytrapped safe always lie. The gargoyle which guards the treasure always tells the truth. Amongst those who guard the empty safes, some lie and some tell the truth. However you cannot tell which gargoyles lie and which gargoyles tell the truth. Finally each gargoyle is either black or red. The clues they give are as follows: Gargoyle 1: My safe is boobytrapped and Gargoyle 8 lies Gargoyle 2: My safe is boobytrapped and the safe of Gargoyle 1 is empty Gargoyle 3: The treasure is found in the safe guarded by a black gargoyle Gargoyle 4: My safe is empty Gargoyle 5: The treasure is not in the safe of Gargoyle 3 Gargoyle 6: Gargoyle 3 is a liar Gargoyle 7: Gargoyle 4 tells the truth or Gargoyle 6 tells the truth Gargoyle 8: Gargoyle 9 lies Gargoyle 9: Gargoyle 7 tells the truth or Gargoyle 5 lies Gargoyle 10: The safe of Gargoyle 2 is empty Gargoyle 11: The safe of Gargoyle 10 is not boobytrapped and you need Gargoyle 12 to tell the truth to find where the treasure is hidden. Gargoyle 12: Gargoyle 11 lies and I tell the truth. This may or may not help! Imagine A and B to be two events: No ( A or B ) = No A and No B No ( A and B ) = No A or No B

Is that some kind of local delicacy? Yes, and thank-you for bringing up a nightmare I had managed to supress for over 20 years! The year was 1987, the place was somewhere in Thailand, the offending object a coconut flavoured (potentially) ice cream with what could only be described as fluorescent green snot topping. With the dropping cutlery technique into the lake below the pontoon already used up as a cunning tactic to avoid the main course (ok, not that cunning but in my defence I was 9), I had no other option but to swallow. Banshees, I think I might be in need of the number of your therapist.

A safe for work rash

Wouldn't you be miserable if you've spent half your life in a cellar with only a dirty old man for "comfort"?

The Chinese have a solution.

I think a Monkey should go to Mr Winston. I am pretty damn sure he has had the most entries (comedy pause) in these picture threads.

If Hope has died what Faith do we have left? Disclaimer: Sorry Han if you had a twin thread (I couldn't find it!) and sorry for sounding like one of our alumni who post random BBC deaths but I just could resist a stoopid pun.

Problem solved, no need to break out your last Gatecrasher tin foil suit which you were keeping for posterity.

News in from my Belgian source, M Poirot, suspect number two has been identified. Perhaps the facts are as clear as a ringing bell? Is there Highjinx at Highgate? Is it time to Bury the evidence? Maybe the drinks salesman shall be putting in some overtime over this festive season. Nothing like a bit of Christmas spirit. Un p'tit pastis anyone?

So what if people in the good ole US of A don't use the word bollocks - is there a rule on this forum that says we must only indulge in Yankspeak? Allow me to ease you into the wonderful world of bollocks - bollocks is a fantastic word that can be employed to good use in a range of topics, the first and obvious being one's testicles, i.e 'I shagged that bag lady from Fraserburgh last night and now my bollocks are itching like a bitch'. Secondly, it can be used as an exclamation of frustration, i.e. 'Bollocks! I've lost my wallet and now I can't find any money to pay for my appointment at the VD clinic to sort out my itchy bollocks'. Thirdly, and probably most aptly for you, my old chum, it can be used to describe something that is utter f*****g shite, thus 'The majority of Banshees' posts are complete bollocks'. Please, don't hesitate to ask if you are confused by any other phrase that comes out of our fair land - I'll be more than happy to explain cuntbubble, dickwad, f uckwit, cockspanner (Copyright LFN), knob jockey, flange and spunkbucket. Hope that's not too vulgar for you - have a nice day! LB I must add for clarification that Banshees is definitely not the dogs bollocks, would you not agree?

A huge one, but then I think we all knew that already ;-)

It's because we were all too busy doing instead of thinking about doing.

More information to be found here I believe

So that's what thanksgiving is about? Being thankful that someone has died? At the best of times I despise the word nice. Here I just find it wholly inappropriate.

Analogy: They still advertise for Butlins on TV right? That's a chavy shithole, yet people still go. (Yes, I've had the misfortune to be invited on a hen weekend there, so I feel justified in being pompous) Moral, the world is full of morons and imbeciles, which is why the shopping channel exists. The sooner retro-active abortion is legalised... No, just kidding, the world needs morons and imbeciles to make the rest of us feel better when we've been complete dufuses (dufi?).

Winny, sweetheart. Would this not have been better suited to Ask a Deathlister? I know you meant to post it there but the pull of Room 101 was, for you, like a Dog pissing up its favourite tree. Never admit to being a cheapskate! To be fair, it was a difficult choice. On the one hand it is a general question, but on the other it is very annoying. I'm interested in the answer to this one too, I have a similar problem. With Word, I mean, not with being a cheapskate. If the product key your brother-in-law gave you does not work with the trial version then I don't see any problem uninstalling the trial version (I doubt Microsoft will make that an easy task, cnuts that they are) then re-installing the full version. Theoretically you definitely shouldn't lose your files but since computers are as tempremental as a military dictatorship, I suggest investing in a passport or full size external drive to make a back up copy. Of course I do not practise what I preach, I just use my external drive to take files off my laptop to encourage the hamsters to run faster. Backing up is one of those have to be in the mood moments.

Thanks Phantom, I was having a problem with insomnia of late

Well, you lefties, you know what they say about you.... What do they say about us? Stand up now and repeat after me: I'm left-handed and I'm proud! Regards Sinister Mono

Could the amusing spamalot posters be moved here and perhaps we could hold a competition. Best in spam? Outstanding spam award? The Novel (spam) prize etc... Prize money would naturally come directly from the DL off-shore Nigerian bank. As for his liver, my money is on the 27tH oF fEbRUarY 2009

Is Krill supporting Castro, or Castro supporting Krill? I'd say that FC would look OK, if he hadn't borrowed a gown from the ER wardrobe. It's not a capitalist pig (squid?) Nike tick he has emblazoned on the left breast perchance, authentically faked in the sweat shops of their staunch allies Vietnam by Gary's rejects?