Monoclinic

I think there is only one winner in this discussion. How much does your therapist charge per hour again?

Moi? Polite? Jamais? I'm beginning to think that Bruno Brimley is a cock and potentially an anagram too... Though which, you can get the words bimbo, irony, bumbler, ribber or even my rubber loin out of Bruno Brimley. Bruno, in the quasi words of Steve Lamacq, are you for real? Or just another pseudonym for the genuinely different three DL members out there?

Could one of the Warwick x please step forward and tell me if I am right in believing that the original ethos of this site is not in wanting celebrities to die but merely to speculate on who might potentially pop their clogs over the space of any one year. I am getting sick and tired of hearing this broken record about celebrities teasing us with death. I know I started a wishful thinking thread so it is a bit hypocritical to cast whatnots, however in my defence my tongue was firmly in my cheek at the time. I actually find Anthea a really entertaining woman and couldn't think of anyone better to sit next to on a short train journey, say the Trans Siberian Express. Damn, seems that my tongue's glued to the inside of my cheek. This teasing seems on a par with my oh-so-funny Portsmouth tirade, which I'm sure you are all equally tired of. I think we have all been teased one, two many times as these four examples show. Here are a few suggestions for you BCA. Strangely, I find the first few synonyms listed under the first entry quite apt. Oh and did I tell you the one about how many seasons Portsmouth have been predicted to stay in the premiership? ...

Mr. (or Ms.) Cream, you forgot the poll. It's common practise now as far as threads concerning yourself go, please remember the etiquette in future. Oh and despite honez appraisal I think the poem's naff. I hope your not entering that into any slam contest. Twat. A four letter word.

Do you accept Zimbabwean currency ? I'd even stretch to a few billion dollars ( before they knock the zeros off)

There's a few gaps to fill in, I'm sure you'll knock yourself out trying. 1959 1958 1957 1956 1955 Albert Einstein 1954 1953 Josef Stalin 1952 King George VI 1951 1950 1949 1948 1947 1946 1945 Adolf Hitler ... No one died - there was a war on. 1934 Marie Curie ...yawn 1791 Wolfgang Amedeus Mozart ...Are we there yet? 68 Nero Claudius etc. (significant for me owing to some dull Nero related translations in Latin, I forget now who or what but I think it involved his mother. Why do we persist on teaching Latin? I think I'm going to get it in the head here as there are a lot of creative artistic types around the DL) ... 33 Jesus ... 44 BC Julius Caesar (purely for having to read Shakespeare's remake of events in English that his death was oh so bloody relevant) 3427 BC Fred Flinstone, I met him once, he was a lovely man. So what's your party trick going to be this time next year? Most significant death in reverse alphabetical order for every year, in chronological order, ever since Homo erectus?

May I just reiterate my possibly-irrational loathing of Gary Neville? To my knowledge, he's never stubbed out a ciggy on a teammate, gobbed in a fan's face or chinned a cabbie, but I'd rather share a 3x3 prison cell with Wisey, Dioufy and Bartony than allow that Manc cnut one more day on the planet. Talking of our Joey, tasty headline from the Sun. But the question is, would you go to Portsmouth rather than allow him extra time?

Heston heaven update

Do you have a link to the new photos? No it was in US magazine. oh well, I'll wander to the other side of the office and see if anyone's left the latest issue in the reception area I think that paint might still be a bit tacky Phantom Do I get a turn in your chair?

soldier called Pike, Who

I have enjoyed watching countdown since I was a child. It was never the same after Richard had gone though. I was shocked to read yesterday that Carol had been forced out. I don't think the show can go on with new presenters. Who can realistically replace Carol? To replace both the original presenters would be a mistake I feel. Countdown to me was in large Richard and Carol and the chemistry between them. Its like Queen, still calling themselves Queen but touring minus Freddie Mercury and John Deacon. It just doesnt work. The powers that be should be ashamed of themselves for the way they have treated Carol. She has remained loyal to the show over the years and deserves better. A fantastic show......Channel 4, or my afternoons won't be the same without it. ROLCHALRANRIDACRUED Answers on a postcard.......... Don't you need another D to put it in a past tense? Unless Richard's living with Fossett and Lucan...

A strange sense of déjà vu but nonetheless HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINDY, again!

Train. Try Rail Europe:- London-Merens les Vals. Merens les Vals to wherever in Andorra by bus, or at worst, taxi. It is 30 miles, and about 1 hour away. Remember, I am a travel agent, after all.... Ta, I'll look into that place. So far I've got l'Hospitalet where the buses go at stupid o'clock or Latour de carol where the buses apparently stopped in 2005 and although they say Andorra is 20 km away and you can take a taxi, I realise 20 km upwards takes a lot longer than across ways!

cream of Banshees soup

Interim stats report: Peter Snow has been at the figures to relate questions 1 and 3. Out of the 36 people who have voted without nulling their voice (unfortunately I couldn't find the insert spreadsheet function) we find the following percentages to what people think of Banshees Cream (to 2SF) Creepy 72% A tosser 67% Someone I'd avoid like the plague 64% His poetry is a joke 56% Lost the plot 56% Dick 53% As funny as a hole in the head 53% Fool 50% A racist 50% He's a virgin 50% His self image is nothing like reality 47% He's not charming 47% He is a joke 44% Lost the plot 44% I wouldn't trust him in a fit 44% He's a loser 44% All in all he's a low life 44% A twunt 42% An idiot who I look down on 42% He's a liar 42% An IQ lower "then" a chimpanzee 39% A misogynist 39% Repulsive 33% He's always after something 33% I hate him 33% Scum of the Earth 31% (Doesn't support Pompey, so technically can't qualify for this title)Misunderstood 11% Fun 8% He's genuine 8% Not creepy at all 6% All in all he's a top bloke 6% Mr Popularity 3% A mental giant 3% Insightful 3% Not a tosser 3% Has a self image that is just about right 3% He's charming 3% I love him 3% Genius 0% A good poet 0% Sexy 0% A born leader who I look up to 0% A gem 0% Peaceful 0% Someone I'd be happy to have as a friend 0% I look forward to PMs from him 0% I would trust him intimately 0% He's a real lady's man 0% He's a winner 0% He tells the truth 0% Analysing the top two stats we see that a whopping 72% see BS as a tosser. However looking at the counter argument, 6% find him not creepy at all, thus 22% of you (7.9 DL members) must find him somewhere between creep and non creep. Moving on to tosserdom, we have a slightly nicer stat to contemplate in that only 67% find him to be a tosser (whether this 67% also constitute the 50% who think him to be Cerasus intacticus cannot be determined from these figures.) If only 3% (1 DL member) finds him not to be a tosser that leaves 30% of us where the jury is still currently out. Banshees, who loves ya baby? The stats do not lie. One of us does... And finally, in the world of meaningless stats, the graph is king. Now if anyone with experience could tell me the easiest way to get to Andorra on public transport, I'd be most grateful, the above testifies to how well my google investigation was going.

Strange, but I've not seen many lions and sharks wielding 0.44 semi-automatic carbines.* Nor deer, grouse, boar, pigeons or any of your other targets over which you hold a firm advantage. I don't care if that isn't a type of gun, you get the idea. I detest guns.

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century? I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere. I think (s)he is implying that you move away from the tranquil, beautiful, idyllic countryside of Wiltshire and move to a crowded, polluted sewer that calls itself a city where the odds of dying from a chav inflicted stab wound are vastly increased. (Portsmouth is not too far away, should you decide to heed this advice. I doubt they'd even be able to identify a horse at 20 paces let alone spell it)

We skived off to see the Tour de France whizz past a few hours ago. And Whizz they did in one of the flatest cities in Europe.

Even though most if not all petitions are a crock of sh*t ignored by the powers that be, I signed anyway.

By my "calculations" Banshees, between yourself, The Philosopher and Kashmir there's one of you that doesn't like you. (The vote currently stands at 2 people like him, 10 don't. I think it's time to bring out Peter Snow's swingometer)

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we? (If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate ) Well Mono, the problem with pedantry is that there's always someone with a version of Asperger's that's a little more troubling than your own. I believe that the French for pedant is pédant. Its masculine as are you. So that should be pédant français. Or should it? True too true. Yes there is an accent too but I was too lazy to go find it, my laptop can be a bit adversed to them. Truth be told, pédant I think is an adjective but could be the noun as well, I haven't got a scooby. If it is the noun, I'd be okay with the pédante française last time I checked. Well, except for the fact that I am British. All in all guilty as charged Monsieur.

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we? (If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )