Monoclinic

I just had to post this hypothesis as I know it would upset a certain member around these parts. Just as we have most likely evolved from a common primate ancestor we are also continuing to evolve and one possible outcome has been postulated by geneticist Oliver Curry. Our descendants could be at risk owing to our reliance on modern technology demonstrated nicely in this forum with our use of the internet. Will luddites unite and take over the world?

Build your own Sputnik 1!

I found it really helps to read the quoted post in an Irish accent, like that bloke off 'Mock the Week.' Try it, you'll see I'm right. It at least makes Banshees' twatiness sound funny. BHB However which one; Father Ted, Father Jack or Father Dougal? Edit - I was speaking of which Irish accent. I have never seen Mock the Week, I just realised that my post might imply I meant something else. Sorry Godot! (see post after next)

с днем рожденья Hope google hasn't failed me! Have a great day!

That's a shame. Moreover it's a pity it wasn't the other one, Toksvig. That would however be wishful thinking.

You don't happen to be teaching English in Thailand at the mo do you ATJ? If so, now's the time to hide.

The New Scientist has by-passed the romanticism of death and summarised what various deaths might entail based on research and survivors tales. Death special: How does it feel to die? However don't fear the reaper just yet, the world transhumanist association is working on a plan for eternal life. The rest of the death special, if you are interested, can be found here.

Err, you are joking, right. Any religious fundamentalist is, by definition, pretty damned stupid. Not sure about that AtJ. Take the 9/11 terrorists for example. One of their causes celebres was they wanted US troops out of Saudi Arabia. The US pulled its troops out of Saudi in early 2003. The Madrid bombers were apparently upset with Spain's support of the Iraq war Mark II. Shortly after the bomb, Spain elected a new Prime Minister. When he sees video of hour long security queues at airports, don't you think Bin Laden must be smiling through his beard? They're crazy I tells ya. Crazy like a fox. Those that have masterminded terrorist attacks are not stupid by nature of the fact they have foiled national intelligence and security agencies with plans even more cunning than Baldrick could possible imagine to cause such wanton destruction. I would probably choose to use the words misguided, ill-advised, maybe even brain washed and yeah crazy.

Hopefully. The only time Branson stops making a C-word of himself these days, is when he takes a short break to be a self-aggrandizing, megalomaniacal C-word elsewhere. I'd like to submit the following scenario: Steve Fossett is found, alive and well. He and Branson embark on another epic edge-of-space balloon extravaganza. Mid-flight, (insert mechanical malfunction here) and Branson plummets earthwards, landing squarely on top of Rupert Murdoch as he applies his morning haemorrhoid cream, killing both of the c**ts. Steve Fossett embarks on another epic ballooning adventure, accompanied by gastro-C-word Jamie Oliver filming a "live, wecord-bwaking edge-of-thpace cookewy lethon". The "lethons of hithtory" not learned sufficiently well, however, (insert improbable but nonetheless satisfying mechanical malfunction here) and Jamie's oxygen supply is cut off. Literally dozens of his fans watch him slowly suffocate, separated from a smirking Steve Fossett's oxygen-rich half of the gondola/capsule by the thickness of a toughened-glass partition (installed to prevent the smell of freshly-chopped shallots from tearing-up Fossett's eyes as he navigates), live on tv. One grief-crazed Jamie Oliver fan takes up arms and storms the set of the Ready Steady Cook Christmas Special, needlessly (but rather pleasingly) ending the careers, and lives, of Gary Rhodes, Ainsley Harriot, Anthony Worrell-Thompson and a few other professional arseholes I can't remember right now. Somewhere in the midst of this commotion, the ubiquitous king of smug James Nesbitt is felled by a stray bullet, the bloody ricochet striking Pete Doherty to the temple, killing him almost instantly. Doherty falls, syringe-first, into Vanessa Feltz's lap. She pours her freshly-purchased half-gallon cup of McDonald's coffee into the lap of the gentleman sat to her immediate left, one Simon Cowell. It's alright though, folks, it doesn't kill him; it just causes horrendous burns and permanent disfigurement. In shock, his left arm swings out violently, breaking Graham Norton's nose; an injury from which he later dies. Somewhere else in the midst of all this, Alastair Campbell's cold, evil heart is impaled by the pointed end of a falling anvil. Upon hearing the news of this mass fatality, Ant & Dec carry out a suicide pact, shoving paracetamol up each other until they burst. Can Anthea Turner be a guest on Ready Steady Cook that day?

I must have you on my team next time I play TP, I find the pink and yellow questions the easiest, all we need to make up a team is someone to take up the brown and blue, in my experience the sport (orange) is a complete hit and miss, if we can find someone with total knowledge of all sport before 1970 we are on to a winner! I love the blue and green ones LG. Failing that I go for a stab in the dark on the international Kibaddi question or other bizarre leisure questions. However I try my damn hardest to avoid the brown farts and lit if at all possible!

Any one Spice Girl - or is Gerry over 60?

Another hep C celeb

Vous m'oubiez! It's been four months since the Federal election, took over a month to decide who was going to be PM and then ever since they've been arguing over the coalition. You see there are benefits for having a two horse race (US, UK etc.) rather than 57 million parties, some which span the linguistic divide and others which blatantly don't. None of this hung coalition shenanigans at every election. To boot, these Belgians pay a fine if they don't vote, so in the effort to overcome apathy they are rewarded with this farce! I'm all up for living through a revolution as long as it doesn't involve anymore paperwork. I wouldn't want to have to re-register as a foriegner in Luxembourg, France, Quebec or wherever it is that Flandres wants to annex Wallonie to.

Oops a 6 out of 10 on the books topic and then I think a few of them were through a fluky process of elimination, looks like I must try to find that library card. Could you pass eight grade science by means of this multiguess exam? Thankfully I can. Though I apparently can't Best describe the surface of the Earth over the last billion years.

Be prescibed vodka on the Australian health service.

You're a river. The River Itchen. [Vic Reeves] No sorry, I was thinking of the Test [/Vic Reeves] So super hot CJ where's the quizzes gone?

In a half-hearted attempt to get more quizzes around these parts... I can run but I never walk, I have a mouth but I never talk, I have a bed but never sleep, what am I?

Get a fit man in

Dear Dave/Ian, I am glad you have decided to change your name to something entirely more apropos. As for whether DL can pick 'em or not, put up or shut up: Post a list of your fifty celebs at the start of next year and we'll see who does best. A Celebrity Deathlist Match? .... I'll get me coat.

As long as we book Anthea Turner in for a 366 night stay commencing 01 Jan 2008 sounds good to me.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that. For Godot's benefit, to avoid any gaps in your modern day culture knowledge base, here is one of her songs. I can't bring myself to link her directly so I'll opt for the debatably marginally better band Travis and their cover version of Hit me baby one more time. Please shoot me now for posting Travis.

You can bet that the world didn't make quite so much sense for the chicken/lamb/cow/pig in that roasting tin, as it left this mortal coil with the sweet smell of blood, death and fear invading its nostrils, listening to the theme tune from "My Family And Friends Are Being Needlessly Slaughtered On An Industrial Scale". Norfolk; not renowned for displaying mercy toward roastable animals. Overcast and drizzling here in Northumberland. Must be time for . Though I thought you had a penchant for pigeon SC?

So, like the Pope and Richard Madeley, Lewis is fallible after all. Should make for an interesting last race. Well, if it wasn't formula one car racing, of course. I thought the Pope was infallible and Richard Madeley was just a cnut intolerable