Cowboy Ronnie

Nice the way the Clouseau brigade at the ATP suspend a guy for five weeks and 12 grand for betting a massive $192 (at three bucks a pop) on tennis matches, while they let the clearly guilty Daffydenko walk free over a fixed match with $7 million wagered. Fools. I hope they feel ashamed today.

Glenn McGrath has handed down his biennial Ashes pick A pigeon called Sweep In the summer of 2005: The Lions lost a series Roger Federer and Venus Williams won Wimbledon Brazil won the Confederations Cup Pigeon McGrath predicted a 5-0 Aussie whitewash Australia’s most experienced pace bowler picked up an injury England won the Ashes Just sayin’ is all…..

There's a bloke dressed as a fish (trout, possibly) up there at the moment, reading some important-looking missive to the masses below. Which is nice. The safety net is a wise option. I'm trying to decide what is more pointless - the Plinthtan men (and women), or a series of Big Brother. Maybe if someone was doing something worthwhile, like juggling or football keepy-uppies for an hour, I'd be impressed. Currently there's some loonie with a bunch of signs shouting enthusiastically at people to take a picture. Classic attention whore behaviour. "Look at me, London/world, aren't I special?" Maybe we should have "any one Plinther" as a DL nominee for the few weeks this colossal waste of everyone's time drags on.

Berne Ecclestone sticks his foot in his mouth again. He'd have made the cars run on time A complete and utter embarrassment. F1 managed to get rid of Max, can Bernie be far behind?

King of Popped his clogs.

Apparently Elton John couldn't help singing in honour of his latest dead celebrity friend: Funeral for a friend As is tradition with Elts he reworked a popular song with revised wording, and this time chose one of Jacko's biggest hits. Fortunately the crack DL investigative team were able to track down a copy of the alt lyrics. To the tune of Billie Jean. Doop - doop. Doop - doop. Doop - doop. Doop - doop. He was just like our English Rose, but with a f*cked up nose We said we don't mind, but what do you mean, he's now gone Who will dance with a glove on one hand? What about the O2 gigs he had planned? We all know that his name was Michael J, and that he was likely gay. Despite all the wives and the kids and dance moves. There's so little that proves. People always told him, be careful what you do. Don't go around breaking young boys in His mama always told him, be careful who you love, And be careful what you do, you can't always bribe the truth McCauley C was not his lover He's just a kid who slept over one night But not in Michael's bed His folks claimed he looked at his bum, but it was only for fun. For forty days and forty nights, The law was at his ranch And it was almost more than he could stand His lawyers schemed and planned While kids played, on the rides, all around He took in legal advice, just remember to always pay twice (He paid twice)

I started at 11.57pm last night. Too soon? The Onion waited a week after 9/11 before they got started, and did it very well as I recall. And that was after the tragic, violent death of 3,000 innocent people. Extrapolating on that basis using the Tasteful Mourning Period Determiner, and taking into consideration much of the unpleasantness surrounding the tragic figure that Michel Jackson became was self-inflicted, then yeah Windsor, I'd say 11:57 was about right. He'd been dead for over six hours, and TMZ or whoever it was first broke the news around 10:30, which would have given the family etc. time for a dignified period of reflection before the jokes began.

I see we're comfortably into the phase where Jacko jokes are acceptable and in the best possible taste, so: --------------- What's the difference between a grocery bag and Michael Jackson? One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other is used for groceries. You heard he didn't die of a heart attack? Food poisioning, 12 yr old nuts. MJ died of a heart attack after hearing Boys 2 Men was a band not a delivery service. He was found in the childrens ward having a stroke. When the police searched his mansion they found class a drugs in his kitchen, class b drugs in the bathroom and entire class 4c in the bedroom. What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and MJ? Ferguson will still be playing Giggs in August. ------------------- FWIW, I'm calling overdose. C'mon, admit it, we're all wondering the same thing.

Farrah has apparently agreed to marry Ryan O'Neal, a sure sign it can't be long. A Goody indicator

Interestingly, the fly put up a more spirited defense before being vanquished than did the entire Republican Guard in both Iraq wars combined. And France in WWII.

A specialist quiz all about the British GP for our F1 enthusiasts, courtesy of the BBC. Who wants to drive? A millionaire Can anyone beat 5/10?

Does it really matter? Either way, it's a lot.

He's back. Had his collar felt in Gloucester last night http://tinyurl.com/l93j59 Peter Doherty drugs arrests are like London buses. And in a vaguely related note, Mark Morrison has been arrested, this time for assault. Return of the Mack. To Prison

Actually, Venezuela's pretty decent at baseball, Harold. Curiously enough, so is Holland, although that's because most of the players come from a former Dutch colony in the Caribbean. Suriname or Curacao or one of them. A better analogy might be it would be like England beating the US in baseball. Meanwhile, Oz got crushed like insects by the Windies, who have sleep-walked their way around the UK the past month or so, losing to all comers. I'd love it if Sri Lanka could finish the job tonight and send Punter and co out.

How is it possible no one has posted in the Pistol Pete thread in a little over nine months? Maybe he was off having a baby (shambles). Anyhoo, he's back in the news: Doherty in drug use shock horror? It's comforting to know that while we and everyone's granny are busy removing our shoes and walking through X ray machines, criminal mastermind Pete Doherty managed to slip a hypodermic needle past airport security. Allegedly.

This probably belongs in "Ideas and possibilities for 2008", but I'm not sure that thread's still going. "Blair and Brown topped death list" No they didn't.

To be rescued, doesn't one have to be in some degree of danger, or at least in need of assistance? Bozza could merely have stood up and walked three feet and been where he was before. Stupid Torygraph, they should stick to MP's fiddling their expenses.

Is that smiley shaving using an invisible razor, or cleaning his teeth with an invisible brush? Whichever it is, nice to see good hygiene being promoted on a community friendly site like the DL. I propose a minor knighthood for Toast's services to mankind. Back to VOB, I honestly couldn't say I'd heard of him, but I'm not much one for the ponies. His career achievements do seem impressive, and low hanging fruit he may have been, we needed to get back in the winner's circle. For his DL deadline, might I humbly propose, "And.....he's off".

I thought at first you were referring to this Tutti Frutti, Fruity Totty a mildly smutty German game show in which the contestants (the female ones anyway) had to remove articles of clothing if whatever activity they were competing in went against them. Then when I saw the later post mentioning Emma Thompson, I thought, "Not her!" Much more of a programme for Jenny Agutter. I thought that was "Italian Stripping Housewives", a show beautifully dubbed and shoved onto one of Skys more obscure channels. Hasnt been on for years. I had forgotten all about it. Sounds like the old Tutti Frutti/Colpo Grosso confusion. CG was the Italian version, which, as LFN notes, when presented in the UK had a marvellous Welsh-accented voice over, with the catch phrase "Ornly jorking" regulary delivered after the host made some leering comment to one of the contestants or dancers. Not that I ever watched or anything.

No. There are still hundreds of survivors in each participating nation. Fair enough. My topic-initiating total shall remain resolutely at 1. I suppose if you really wanted you could open a thread for reporting the deaths of WW11 notables... Like who? Most of the notables are dead, except Vera Lynn who has her own thread. There are a few VCs covered elsewhere on the forum, the odd U-boat skipper, also covered elsewhere, a few survivors from high profile actions, also covered elsewhere. As you said we're nowhere near the last few as in the WW1 survivors. But most of those left of the notables are covered in other categories. Hitler's still living in Bolivia. Or his brain is, anyway. They saved it, I saw a film about it.

It pretty much depends on how independently famous the person is in the the eyes of the DL committee. After 4-6 pints.

Brownie's not got much else on his plate at the minute, so he figured he'd address the nation's most pressing issue first. Apparently he'll be releasing a statement hoping Katie and Peter can patch things up later today.

I thought at first you were referring to this Tutti Frutti, Fruity Totty a mildly smutty German game show in which the contestants (the female ones anyway) had to remove articles of clothing if whatever activity they were competing in went against them. Then when I saw the later post mentioning Emma Thompson, I thought, "Not her!" Much more of a programme for Jenny Agutter.

What a career arc. Mocked for her appearance, she becomes an international sensation literally overnight, then crumbles to pieces as she fails to win the show that made her all famous, and is now in rehab. All in the space of a month.

Apparently there was a big flash which caused the plane to disappear. What the experts haven't yet realised was the aircraft got time skipped back to 1977. That's ok, Rousseau's crew should be able to look after them, and conveniently they all speak French.