Cowboy Ronnie

Mark Young died in hospital following a crash in the 250cc race earlier that day, while another rider is in a critical condition. To be added to the list of most lethal professions, along with K2 mountaineer, space shuttle astronaut, steeplechase racehorse, Tamil Tiger, Pakistani politician, and suicide bomber. When's the Isle of Man TT, that's usually good for a few fatalities?

How could he fall over if he was in a wheelchair? God, I hate Jerry Lewis. And the French.

And yet they're the only ones who ever vote for Team GB. You'd have thought the Frogs, Belgies and Dutch would show a little more gratitude, what with Blighty winning them the war and all. [Edit - way-hey, 100 pages for this thread, and what better way to mark it than a post that has nothing to do with football?]

Who on God's green earth would in their right mind go to see the Kaja's, other than to mock? Too Shy was marginally entertaining back in the day, but doesn't hold up 26 years on. I could maybe understand going to see Kim Wilde (unless she got fat), Dexy's or even Gary Numan, but Lame-ahl? No ta.

I thought last night's result was alright. Leeds, going out in front of their own fans, to a late-ish goal from the beloved Millwall. Shame it didn't kick off a bit more at the end, and where was the pitch invasion from the wussie home supporters? At least the Isle of Dogs Massive threw things at the Leeds keeper in the first leg. Now we just need Millwall to lose in the playoff final so they can do it all over again next season. How's GB looking in the Euros, VT? If we could just politically or socially offend the Irish we could be on for nul points.

She was one of the hottest women from the 70's in my book. Hopefully the pages were laminated.

His DL Deadline writes itself.

Does anyone know if any pope in history has ever been assasinated ? Just my curiosity lol.... First match on Google for "assassinated popes" Pontofficating From the article: "John VIII (872-882): Poisoned and clubbed to death Adrian III, St. (884-885): Rumored poisoned Stephen VI (896-897): Strangled Leo V (903): Murdered John X (914-928): Suffocated under a pillow Stephen VII (VIII) (928-931): Possibly murdered Stephen VIII (IX) (939-942): Mutilated and died from injuries John XII (955-964): Suffered a stroke while with a mistress or murdered by an outraged husband Benedict VI (973-974): Strangled by a priest John XIV (983-984): Starved to death or poisoned Gregory V (996-999): Rumored poisoned, probably malaria Sergius IV (1009-1012): Possibly murdered Clement II (1046-1047): Rumored poisoned Damasus II (1048): Rumored murdered Boniface VIII (1294-1303): Died from abuse received while a captive of the French in Anagni" According to wikianswers, Poped their clogs it's: "Eight: John VIII, Hadrian III, Stephen VI, Leo V, John X, Sergius IV, Benedict VI, Urban VI." All but one of those eight appear on the first list, so presumably there's some truth out there. Except for the last one, that's just an Urban legend.

Impressive that Holland would have anyone finish as high as 14th in skiing, given the tallest mountain in the whole country is apparently Vaalser hill at a modest 1053 ft. It would be like an Egyptian finishing in the top 15 in speed skating. Which gets me to thinking, what's the most geographically unlikely medal winning performance in Olympic history?

Howard Webb, if he sets foot anywhere near Anfield. A complete and utter tool.

That probably won't help his case if he's looking for any cash as part of a divorce settlement. What a couple of complete and utter tools, too bad they didn't work out, they're made for each other. And a stroke of genius from the reportedly pregnant woman. Lucky kid has some awesome genes coming his/her way.

Not looking too good here I just saw a Ghost

What a fantastically eclectic grouping that is. Of the remaining four non-Wings (John Conteh, Michael Parkinson, Christopher Lee and Kenny Lynch), surely Dracula must be next. Not to split heirs MPFC, but Emma Freud isn't actually married to Richard Curtis, so he wasn't quite a son-in-law. But the number of celebrity connections is making my head spin.

Darn it, his posts claiming volleyball was a more popular world sport than football were some of my favourites. How many posts did he have to change to "."? Maybe he got paranoid that somehow his true identity might be revealed, and he'd be at risk of an exposé ruining his chances of ever being elected PM.

As predicted just one week ago... Archbishop Sir Marcus Loane died today aged in fact 97. Good shout AC/DU, but he'd never have passed the DL fame test.

I didn't know they had monkeys Down Under.

Bit of a bumper weekend for American celebrity deaths, as in addition to Marilyn Chambers, baseball pitcher Mark 'The Bird' Fidrych Dead as a Parrott, and announcer Harry Kalas, Outta Here!! died

The last note of Lana Clarkson (to the music of Da Doo Ron Ron) I knew one day that he would make my heart stand still My daddy said, "Just run girl, run, run, run" Somebody told me that his name was Phil "That nutter's got a gun, girl, a gun, gun, gun" Yes, my heart stood still Yes, his name was Phil And when I saw that gun Shoulda been a good girl, a nun, nun, nun I knew what he was doin' when he caught my eye He said his favourite surf song was "Fun, fun, fun" He was so evil, I knew I'd die Evil as Hitler, the Hun, Hun, Hun Yes, he caught my eye Yes, it's time to die And when I went to his home He told me how he once scared Joey Ramone Drank his rum, rum, rum, he got a gun, gun Shoulda listened to his first wife, Ronnie, Ron, Ron Picked me up at seven and his hair was huge Now I'm gone, gone, gone, now I'm long gone My face lost all its colour, I needed rouge He molested his son, son, son, his poor son, son He made that wall of sound Now, I'm in the ground And long after I'm gone I'll miss the sun, sun, sun, the hot sun, sun Drank his rum, rum, rum, he got a gun, gun Shoulda listened to his first wife, Ronnie, Ron, Ron (repeat and fade out away)

Kate Hudson and Owen break up for the one millionth time. Wedding crashed She'll be dating another celeb by the summer, guaranteed. He should hook up with Jennifer Aniston, they're both desperate enough.

Were they baking bombes at the time?

Leading candidate for drive-by rant of the year? I kinda wonder how someone who's so opposed to the notion of interest in celebrity death would ever come across the DL. But perfect spelling and grammar in the post, so props for that.

I think the rule we made up was a news report had to describe it using the word "massacre", and the BBC one doesn't. Given none of us guessed Greece, presumably no one will look too hard to find an article that does. So, the contest rolls on!

Ordered to stand trial in Germany, although his lawyers claim he's "too ill" to travel there. Ivan to be alone

Is this how Dr Scholls make their massaging gel insoles?

The relentless uselessness that is the London Underground. Proudly providing a service more brittle than an infant's skull. "Due to an ant crossing the tracks at West Ruislip, the Central Line will be closed for the next four hours. Please use the hopelessly inadequate rail replacement service." Or, "Because of a passenger with a mild cough at Canon's Park, there will be no Jubilee Line trains running today." And what, exactly, is a signal failure? Who makes the signals, and has there been any product in the history of mankind, including the space shuttle, that fails more often? Then there's the "information" they give you when something goes wrong. "There are severe delays on the _________________ (fill in any tube line). Passengers are advised to switch to the ________________ line and change at ________________." Everyone shuffles off the platform, and three seconds later the supposedly delayed train's doors close and off it whizzes, 3/4 empty, to the next station. A troop of shrieking gibbons would be more helpful because at least they wouldn't deceive us all into believing anything they uttered. Mankind (supposedly) got a man on the moon 40 years ago this year, but can they get a tube train to go from A to B in the appointed time? Can they f**k.