Redmega

Paul Goggins MP http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-25652620

Mike Hebranko died last July, didn't get reported. The Daily Mail were all over him when they had a "one more slice of pizza will kill him" strory, but sadly no follow up after The Grim Dominoes delivered. http://mikehebranko.blogspot.co.uk/

Mighty Mike Hebranko, pet weightloss project of Richard Simmons and current world record holder for most weight lost, seems to be in acutely poor shape of late. He mentioned on twitter that he was going back into hospital for a spell, but then things went quiet. With no updates on his blogspot, and then his twitter accounted being taken over by a bot since April, I feared the worst. Thankfully, his friends have posted a message on his blog to say that he's still alive (as of last week), although the doctor has stated he didn't expect him to 'bounce back' this time.

One of my more speculative picks, but as usual I'm a bit gutted about it. I heard they postponed filming of the Spartacus sequel when he became ill, hoping that he'd recover - then went on to write and film a prequel instead to give him even more time. Guess they'll have to recast after all. Having seen how good Xena looked in that series (for her age) I presumed they'd found the elixir of youth, but were only using it to treat hollywood (c-list) celebs.

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Now it's Pancreatic Cancer. Not a great source mind you.

I never kept the same numbers if I did the lottery - in case I forgot one week and had no choice other than to top myself. I'm going to have to start a new policy of completely throwing out my picks each year, because missing Norman off this ONE time feels like a sharp thwack to the knackers. He was always going to have the last laugh, I suppose. Good on him.

Cardinal Daly didn't make it. That's going to bring a few subs into play, I'll wager.

Some very tasteful memorabilia available on ebay. Bid now and forever hold her piece...

In my experience, the finest things in life come in brick form...

Bam Margera of Jackass fame, has reportedly suffered a suspected drugs overdose. 1:30pm sunday afternoon seems like an odd time to be getting bang on it.

Sounds like fun. Redmega's MegaDead Malingerers: 1: Wendy Richards 2: Millvina Dean 3: Seve Balesteros 4: Patrick Swayze (JOKER) 5: Betty Ford 6: Ted Kennedy 7: Sir Bobby Robson 8: Jerry Herman 9: Merle Haggard 10: Tony Hart 11: Michael Hebranko 12: Cyril Smith 13: Patrick Moore 14: Ronnie Biggs 15: Margaret Thatcher 16: Stephen Hawking 17: Jade Goody 18: Gloria Stuart 19: Bhumibol Adulyadej 20: Farrah Fawcett

I've grown into quite a cynic when it comes to Falk tales. Since the last media onslaught accusing him of mentalism turned out to be a plain nasty stitch up, with bored paprazzi picking on the 80 year old to generate a saleable reaction. Scum. Besides, even if it is true, Alzheimer's not going to kill him - and he can afford that round-the-clock care.

Posing as a new character in Hollyoaks - I was introduced to Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh after their "performance" at a Blondes V Brunettes wet t-shirt show in Guildford. A pleasant evening ensued, wedged between them on the sofa drinking free champagne. The Nuts photographers took plenty of pictures but alas, when my Hollyoaks story didn't check out, I wasn't featured in the publication

This is fairly old news, I know, but Sophie Anderton has clearly been slamming the ol' toot recently - as well as declaring her intentions to kill herself. With a lonely christmas in store, ANYTHING could happen. Although it's an outside bet, it's nice to see other celebs stepping up to challenge everybody's tired favourite Ms Winehouse.

I never understood the hysteria over this one, but it seems to have picked up some inexplicable momentum. I can only imagine the daily hate-mail must have gotten involved somewhere along the line. In any case, CERN have been been proton smashing for years without incident, the only difference with the LHC is one of scale. I heartily recommend NZ's "A Quiet Earth" for a fair and balanced view of the consequences of our actions.

Steve Jobs has been accidentally pronounced dead by Bloomberg. What are the rules concerning obits for people who aren't actually dead - half points?

First Mini-Me and now this...researching a themed team for next year BS? Already been done. Bijou Bodettes was my other team in DDP last year. I went to Chelmsford's mighty Riverside Leisure Centre to have him sign my copy of The Phantom Menace - He was miserable and charged me a fiver for the pleasure. I've waited a long time for that "investment" to mature....too long, I'd say, as it was on VHS and is by now entirely worthless. That said, I wish him a speedy recovery.

The Duke of Edinburgh has been admitted to hospital due to a chest infection.

In Jeopardy your nick would be the most suitable answer to the question: 'what used to be Arthur C. Clarke's favourite pastime?' The obits don't seem to stress his...er... juvenile inclination too much though. There was a small segment stapled onto the end of the bbc news24 videobit last night. Ran about 5 seconds of asian kids playing in the dirt followed with the narration (something like) "There were numerous allegations of inappropriate behaviour regarding minors levelled at him in the past, although none were proven.", but certainly stopped short of calling him a notorious paedo.

Great research there Redmega: Her real name is in the first sentence of the article; "Canada’s punk rocker Beth Torbert aka “Bif Naked”. I find that reading articles before posting links to them is usually the best approach. Just a thought. PS Appalling spelling on that site BTW. If they can't spell "you're" then I suspect the quality of journalistic information is going to be a little thin also. Ahem, fair enough! But in my defense, the glare from her legs had made it difficult to read the first couple of sentences The other source was from HollywoodPulse.com and was of an even sketchier quality - if that's possible. It's interesting to note that "She is also a strict raw food vegan for health (as opposed to ethical or religious) reasons" - On this evidence, I'll not be giving up bacon just yet.

Bif Naked (If that's her real name), Canadian Rock Chick, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Not the most imformative of articles, but it does come with a picture of her tattoos.

Suffering from the slightest hint of OCD, I have to admit to having considered this problem already. Personally, I always use the unlock button on my car keys. Having lived in essex briefly, I was all too familiar with cashpoints covered in piss and vom - never touch, NEVER touch.