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themaninblack If Mo follows Robin into that great goodnight within a few days I think we should start a conspiracy theory rumour on this site. Especially if there are no New Labour types dropping dead at the same time to balance the equation.

The Russians are very grateful to the UK Navy. I think we on the DL should express our gratitude to the Russians for having a big underfunded navy that loves to carry out ambitious exercises. See you soon on another thread Ruskies.

The Navy - as in the good old UK navy - are sending a rescue sub. It left needing twenty hours to get there when that lot have a maximum of maybe twenty four hours of air. If I was on that sub I'd kill everyone else pronto and give myself a couple of days worth of air. I'm sure a decent solicitor could get me off with a plea of temporary insanity brought on by stress.

No, that's coming the day she tries to fly around the world.

Hatchet man Re the shooting fish in a barrel, you should try it. Firstly the splash of water from the first shot always gets in your eyes before you can close them, the water diverts the bullet making your aim chancy at best and by the time you've blinked your eyes clear of water the inevitable leak in the barrel means a lot of the water has drained out limiting the time available for sport. If you put ten fish in a big wooden barrel you'd be lucky to get five with a revolver before the water had gone. Even with goggles the water gets down your throat, making concentration tough. Don't even think about a metal barrel, the danger of ricochets is too great. Ten stowaways in a lorry back on the other hand.....

I was trying to think of where I'd draw the line. Maybe if Sienna Miller turns out to pregnant, splits up for good with Jude Law and rings Marie Stopes.....I mean, does the foetus count? I'll get me coat! Incidentally, I reckon the 38 current survivors on the DL will outlive this thread.

I understand your points and don't feel strongly either way. The main suggestion I was making is that we should have one decent thread established - like maybe at the start of a year - on which we can set up some kind of race between the people who are famous simply for being terminally ill. Obviously, this rules them out of the main DL but they're still very much in the thoughts of those of us who post here. If the general feeling is we should leave the kids out of it that's fine.

It's odd the way the off topic ranting with added swearing and the posters talking about themselves has gone off the scale since parliament's summer holiday started. C'mon DD, you can tell us. Which constituency do you represent and which minor public school did you attend?

Apologies, that's me above, borrowing a computer. Normal service has now been resumed.

You might get a complaint from someone really called Kir5ty Howard.

'Stable' means nowt other than her present condition is holding steady. They wouldn't be reporting it like this unless she was well on the way. She's cheated us for 2006, probably cheated us even for September.

Vile Body: The braining is stuff coming from aircraft in our atmosphere. One of the best ever stories in this regard concerns Doug Bower and Dave Chorley, a couple of old tricksters who were responsible for most of the crop circles that started the whole craze for the things. They figured it was time to get out of the business when one of them was doused in chemical toilet waste - probably from a descending military aircraft - in the early hours of the morning.

It was more than his private life when the law got involved. He lost a fan or two amongst the women he'd videod going to the toilet at his seedy little theme park. How about we combine our view of him and yours and call him a 'Pervert Legend?'

Not quite, they snip off the trails of loose glue that have shaken themselves loose, slap in a bit more mix and try to avoid incontinence at the thought they're trusting this botch job to keep them from incineration in a few days. Maybe they should rename it the space shittle! Other than that I'm with you, drive a Honda not a space shuttle.

Re the training: They're doing a spacewalk today, checking flailing sealant on the underside. There is nothing in the manual about this work. One thing lots of training does give you is plenty of experience checking things. The astronauts in the Challenger disaster in 1986 were working pointless but very hard to bring their terminally wounded craft under control, following their training. That cockpit voice recorder would make an interesting listen.

All of which means with some genuine shitheads in the ranks that the academically challenged division who're in it for the intimidation, beatings and respect/fear this generates will struggle to find a role. Other than maybe killing the people who forced real politics on them. Adams is smart enough to realise how suicidal these acts are so - I guess - deserves some resepect. Wonder if he's got a plasma TV or his wife has a Prada handbag.

Frank Williams stopped off at Lourdes, went into the healing waters and came out with new tyres on his wheelchair.

According to reports this weekend it's believed the whole country of Australia will have stopped smoking in a quarter of a century. I know it's a bit off topic but will this habit really die down under? Frankly, born and bred in the manly, rugged and shamelessly intolerant west of Cumbria I feel a kinship with certain Aussie values and feel this fanciful claim to be complete crap.

Just a hunch, they're non speaking extras who don't have a proper part. Their faces may not even appear. Your sympathy might be better directed at Simon MacCorkindale who'll forever be remembered for starring in the brainless stab at ground-breaking drama that was 'Manimal.' Luckily nobody has ever placed a paper bag over the man, if they had he'd be trapped forever trying to act his way out. Why he now regularly acts alongside children in 'Casualty' - losing every scene in the process - is anyone's guess. If he didn't have the compensation of sleeping with Susan George on a regular basis the shame of his existence might have put him in our sights alongside that other mighty thesp....Richard O'Sullivan Incidentally, ICELAND!!!!! Was this a 25th anniversary attempt to get them back for the Cod War?

F***! How did I miss that classic? Simon MacCorkindale, Anthony Valentine.....more ham in those two alone than a field full of prime pigs. Why - I wonder - did it only get made as TV movie?

Typhoid The weird thing is I thought it shite - I'm just using the word again cos I've found a swear word that doesn't attract muthaf*****g asterisks all the time - but I do remember clearly that this is the story where the driver swills whisky round his mouth to fool everyone into thinking he's washed up.

I'm sure they never made a movie of Way to Dusty Death. Le Mans is a damn good racing movie, all the better because Steve McQueen doesn't win. We're about due a decent F1 movie although my script 'Minardi: Lust for Glory' has so far met with little success.

Typhoid Can't argue with your selection of heroes but their habit of early and - in two cases - never fully explained deaths suggests you could find better role models. As I've dug around in the history of sport I've become fixated on a few enigmatic characters. Chris Amon for one, a driver so spectacularly unlucky you wonder if he had issues or a curse.

I worked on a book with a guy who'd done advertising work for performance sports cars and photography for F1 in the sixties. He told me some great stories including one about finding Carroll Shelby in bed with two women - neither of them being Mrs Shelby. Maybe there's a lesson in longevity in there somewhere. Re the Way to Dusty Death, I started it, thought it complete shite, ditched it and have clearly misrembered the title. I apologise for the error. If someone moderating this can change the subtitle at this late stage it would be welcomed.

Since he's had a sizeable chunk of his body amputated do we get discount if we book him for a live appearance?