maryportfuncity

Think up your wildest idea, and contribute it to the Library of Unwritten Books.

If the last few days have taught us owt it must be that some journalists are anoraks at heart and know their facts about the most obscure musicians. Therefore, everyone from a guy shouting 'Tequila' to an obscure operatic bozo gets a proper obit. So, if we're gonna score some decent hits a similar knowledge of nobodies who'll get a last gasp of fame right after their lasts gasps would serve us well. There's loads getting old so any up to date information could be useful. I've just discovered that Preston Epps - b 1931 - arguably the world's leading bongo player, is still alive and - until recently - gigging. I suggest every DL'er watch their local press, and the entrance to day care centres, for creaky old musos. One I spotted last year was Cliff Hall, the West Indian guy formerly in The Spinners, just into his eighties but frail as hell ambling through a service station on the M11.

The fat diabetic has just turned 59. Rockin' on and working on BOOH III, since the first one was 'Bat OUT of' and the second was 'BACK INTO' what is the newie gonna be called? 'Can't Make Me Mind Up So I'll Hang Around the Gate?'

Back to his old self in 6 months. If it's true, awesome. Respect to the man.

Cockermouth, ten miles roughly - town centre to town centre - from Maryport, my l'al sister works just outside the place. What's worse than being from Cockermouth? Mebbe being stuck in sCUNThorpe.

Aye, I visited the pilot of the Yorkshire air ambulance the other day. He was out but it was okay....the butler let me in!

Aye CP, but she wasn't Tokyo Rose. Convicted back then but pardoned by Gerald Ford, mainly because the prosecution had pressured a few locals into lying to get her convicted. Of course military-related justice has moved on a long way since then, non of that kangaroo court nonsense now, eh?

The imposter's widow was quoted as saying; 'His songs were as lighthearted as his personality.' So he fooled her, then.

Bergman 'had' an interesting life, I mean, mebbe, like, there's still a twist in the ending. Squabbling amongst the offsprint - legit and otherwise - over money accompanied by sniping in the press would liven this dull thread a little bit.

It's right mind, there's even a gay pub in Workington!

Some old vibrators do have cords, in fact there's a cracking set piece in an early Woody Allen movie where one he has plugged into the mains starts sparking.

My ancestors were Vikings, I'd apologise for the rape and pillage but given Britain's prowess in wars for the following centuries mebbe it put a bit of fire into the home gene pool. Every cloud and that.

I broke my arm on a bike this summer, well I broke it on the ground but was busy parting company with the crashing bike when it happened.

Whatever it is that little cord leading away to the left probably means it's a phone....or a real vibrator!

Aye, but I reckon some of the big hitters on the forum - like maybe Sharon - will croak before anyone else on the DL.

Mrs MPFC thought it a good film, and reckoned Prince Philip the kind of character she'd always imagined him to be. Oddly, the real Philip appears to have gone on something of a low key charm offensive since it was released.

Russell Crowe is busy denying that he'll play Irwin in a biopic. Dunno, could see that working pretty well.

Just when you thought it could get no worse if you visit his official site now you get the Chariots of Fire theme and a spoken word piece from Tony with pearls of wisdom like; 'All my life I've been painting,' and 'I hope you have as much fun looking at them as I did creating them.' I'd post a link but if you stumble on this without thinking carefully about whether you want to see it you're in danger of chucking up your last meal.

Aye that struck me too, mind, seeing yer kids gan' first can give the hardiest souls pause for thought....spiralling depression and the rapid onset of ill health.

Handy, what the hell is on your avatar, it looks like a rabbit riding a vibrator, or summat.

Given the all out Tempus vs BS vs Windsor war they'll need Star Crossed because there's no guarantee the other three will all be alive in a week. Congratulations Star Crossed.

Skinner's such a tough old boot it'll take more than cancer and a by-pass to see him off. DL 2009, maybe.

It's not that lacking in other females. Am I Dead is around, Handy; our Manx Minx keeps dropping in and as for some of the others - like Vinegar Tits - their arrivals are inconsistent and hard to predict, worth waiting for mind.

I concur with my esteemed colleague Alphonsin; your limited punctuation, spelling and grammar skills somewhat undermine the 'good job' claims and your somewhat superior tone. Incidentally, we're not spotty geeks, something that's been established as various facts relating to employment etc. have appeared on other threads. We are - however - a bit rock 'n' roll in some of our posting. I'd have thought those involved in record production would appreciate that. Go well and please pass on our regards to Jill

Aye, well, it's not that I was personally gonna start them threads, like.