harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy

Happy birthday NAP, and also to the other mega-famous DLers celebrating today.

scots everywhere. maybe John McDonnell can stop em...

I knew there must have been a reason for Wiggle Wiggle all along

In order to save time and worry on the part of curious DLers, I think I'd better explain! The changes turned out rather more subtle than I had originally intended so here's a detailed description of what happens. 0 seconds: cat's eyes: palest ----------- fish eye: deep red 3 seconds: cat's eyes: still pale -------- fish eye: deep orange/red 6 seconds: cat's eyes: brighter -------- fish eye: medium orange 9 seconds: cat's eyes: more intense -- fish eye: pale orange (distorted slightly in the download) 12 seconds: cat's eyes: bright green - fish eye: yellow 15 seconds: cat's eyes: less bright ---- fish eye: pale orange (also distorted) 18 seconds: cat's eyes: less intense -- fish eye: medium orange 21 seconds: cat's eyes: paler ----------- fish eye: deep orange/red 24 seconds: as at 0 seconds and then the cycle repeats itself. The fish's eye is brightest when the cat's eyes are palest and vice versa. I think this makes it hard to focus on both changes at the same time but it's easier when you know what you're looking for. P.S. Don't forget the waving Jumblie! Hmmm, it's quite hypnot..... I. am. completely. in. your. power. o Master.

Hallefuckinglujah!!

You NEED 50 Euros!!!!!! That's - like - thirty quid. It's Saturday tomorrow, get a comb, some paper, a dog on a bit of string and - sort of - hum your way through a medley of popular tunes in a busy street. I mean, how hard can it be to get 50 Euros? He might be from somewhere like Serbia, 50 Euros is about a weeks wages there. You are making a joke, Olveres, but I am from Sveti Nikole in Macedonia. Maybe we are not so rich as you, but we are happy to be ourselves, and we don't kill iraq peoples so much. You avatar is looking quite like Serbian man, poor and dirty and always angry at whole world. Macedonians try to be good people, I am proud of this, but I have not so much money, it's ok. I love the Balkans, me. Their tactical voting just made me a crisp tenner on Eurovision. I have no shame.

Who cares about Gladders's deficiency in the neck department - he was an integral part of the Bears' glorious 1994 treble-winning, recreational-drug-taking team, the grand slam only foiled by the evil Black Pears' lucky Gillette Cup victory. Coincidentally, strangled Bobby W was our coach that year.

Perhaps a kindly moderator would like to choose a favourite and enter it for the technically-challenged Dave?

Um, I think it might be The Sky at Night that's 50, not Patrick.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Awfully sorry, but it’ll have to be a quickie today, as I’m off to my barber to spruce myself up for a date with the delectable millionaire Ms Judith Keppel. Between you and me, I believe there’s a better than even money chance of Armitage giving the lady a jolly good rogering before the evening is over. Anyway, today’s selection is French Saulaie e/w in the 2.00 at Haydock. Ever yours, Armitage Shanks Esq.

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

Iain, go to the How To thread on DL extra-curricular, all will be made clear. may I suggest this pic of Timothy Potter, Trainspotter...

Come the revolution, Judith will be lined up against the wall with her horse-faced 3rd cousin.

I'm in - bagsy I get to kill Daphne - firstly I will torture her in a cold, dark room with a tape running of a little old lady's voice saying 'It's Eyes Open by Snow Patrol' - how the f**k did she know that answer the other day, you cannot seriously expect me to believe that a 94 year old knows anything about the modern day hit parade. Then I will pull out her little old lady's hair follicle by follicle, then I will beat her around her mouse-face with her pension book, and finally I will cave her head in with my 26-volume set of Britannica's Encyclopedias. And why is it always old people - I was on Countdown and got totally shafted by an old bloke. Then we filmed the show. Boom Boom. That's the spirit. Maybe we should take IainDave along to bore the fuckas to death if our plan of extreme violence fails? PS 94-year-olds make up the majority of Snail Patrol's fanbase, I think

OK, here’s the plan. Me, Windsor, Bazaar, Monoclinic and (I’m sure) Anubis storm the BBC, murder the next challengers, install ourselves on the programme (as The Egghead Skullcrushers), get Cowboy Ronnie (aka Billy Quizz) to replace Dermot O’Knobohan, make every round ‘Unarmed Combat’ and proceed to kick the muthafuckn sh*t out of those self-satisfied knowalls - I’ll take CJ if that’s OK. It’s got a better chance of succeeding than any Equatorial Guinea plot, I assure you. And then we head off to the Newsnight Review studio, knives in teeth.

It's really great that so many of you hate those egghead fuckwads too. It's pretty impossible to get on Millionaire I reckon, cough cough. Please dont call 15-1 a crappy show, though, since I did, ahem, win an edition (Bill G was suuuch a sweetie) and somehow deMooi won one too (the only thing the boss-eyed arsewipe ever won). The only thing I regret is that Daphne Fouler wasnt on when I was there, because as soon as she'd have won with 430 points I'd have gone and punched the old bitch in the eye. Whew, I feel better now! Keep it up.

Rotten Ali perhaps? I know what you mean. The rest of them just get on with it but him - no! He does that thing with his eyes whereby when he answers they are either shut or fluttering. He is a w**ker. What really annoys me about him is the way he violently shakes his head to signify yes or no on the panel before the answers are told. God, he is a prick! Thanks for reminding me how much of a smug prick he actually is, harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy. It's a pleasure, Windsor. I'm delighted it took less than 2 hours for someone to back me up on my tirade against this miserable mofo and I'd be overjoyed if any other CJ haterz (is that what you youngsters say?) in DL land wish to express their dislike of this overweening nonentity in due course!! I completely agree - CJ is a complete twat. Daphne needs to die, because she is at least 143 years old, her little old lady voice seriously f**ks ME OFF - Chris is a bald headed knob, who can't just answer a question, he has to give a running f*****g commentary on WHY it's the right answer - Kevin is plain boring and Judith looks like she hasn't had a good shag since Winston Churchill ran the country. I f*****g HATE the lot of them, the challengers were ROBBED today, and Dermot Knobohan needs a shovel placed with much force directly to the back of his head. Having said that, I do watch it every day. Such vitriol, such bile!! You the man, Lardy.

Will this do? Hahaha, it certainly will, good Captain. My my, the little fella's certainly going for it, eh!!

Looks like ex-Killie manager (and former Clydebank striker, LG) Bobby Williamson is the next man to attempt to lead us to the promised land of Div 1. Harry McN is looking down from above and giving the thumbs up.

Rotten Ali perhaps? I know what you mean. The rest of them just get on with it but him - no! He does that thing with his eyes whereby when he answers they are either shut or fluttering. He is a w**ker. What really annoys me about him is the way he violently shakes his head to signify yes or no on the panel before the answers are told. God, he is a prick! Thanks for reminding me how much of a smug prick he actually is, harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy. It's a pleasure, Windsor. I'm delighted it took less than 2 hours for someone to back me up on my tirade against this miserable mofo and I'd be overjoyed if any other CJ haterz (is that what you youngsters say?) in DL land wish to express their dislike of this overweening nonentity in due course!!

I really fucken loathe CJ from Eggheads on BBC2 - a right smug w**ker that doesn't know half as much as he thinks he does. The bloke's a DL member too, no doubt, but he's certainly a member. <looks in vain for a w**ker smiley>

Hmm, sounds like a contradiction to me TLC . It does sound like a contradiction, but let me explain: I never apologise for my behaviour if I am the only one it embarrasses, or I may as well have a 'sorry' placard made up and superglued to my hand... What I meant was I didn't do anything to anyone that required my apologies, embarrassment by association doesn't count! I'm going put my big sticky beak in here and suggest that the contradiction is between the going to the 80s club/wearing of the beige suit etc, and the nothing to apologise about...

As mentioned by Rotten Ali in the footy thread, former England captain Jimmy Armfield is suffering from throat cancer

Well, not too happy if it's confirmed, but with American owner Terry Smith in the 90s we've got some previous with dubious types. Congrats for the job half done, Exeter. Hmmm, Morecambe or Exeter, two more places I'll not be trekking to next season...Griffin Park here I come!