Lord Fellatio Nelson

Oh really?? You some sort of fucking expert now?

FFS Mary!! Get yer coat!!

Just need to get hold of some bread slices that are shaped like bullets.

If that one was to hold any water, maybe, people will soon be seeing Hampstead Heath regular Terry Jones singing 'Zip-a-dee-doo-dah' at the top of his voice.

Well, if her son is correct and the first story is accurate, how the fucking hell is this film gonna happen? Will she actually remember that she actually has a project?

Eh? I read that as she was the Landlady of the shop, in other words, the owner?

Ducks? I think it would be your balls that need protecting...assuming that anybody actually gave a shit. Life is too short so lets celebrate the rich diversity of the forum or summat.

He looks like shit, like he did before without the 'Flu diet' he has been on.... His face looks awfully long now and I cannot help but think that, with some fettling of his attire, he would be the spit of Postman Pat.

One thing to point out and that is Jodie Whittaker is a full blown PROPER actress who has done a shit load of stuff ( much of it very good) before getting this role. I've watched Who from Pertwee onwards and, honestly, it's 2018 and hammy shit with crap scripts and actors looking amateurish should be long gone. There are whole film franchises out there from Predator to The Avengers and they have moved Sci Fi on to another level. That's not suggesting that it's better but it does say this century more than the last. Yes, there will always be an offbeat and jokey element to The Doctor but, maybe, there will be a more harder edge to the character and the actress chosen knows how to play a character or three. Anyway, Capaldi had zero redeeming qualities and you really did not give a shit if The Dr lived or died. We need to care to believe or summat.

She is magnificent.

Well, I watched the new Dr Who. I liked it. Don't shoot me.

I remember him!! He was on 'Who do you do? and did Albert Steptoe too much.

https://news.sky.com/story/father-ted-co-creator-graham-linehan-warned-by-police-over-transphobia-twitter-row-11520340 This sent me to a nice jaunt through twitter and some of the 'debate' surrounding the above story. Makes me want to have a tw'a'tter account.

I always assumed that cannabis use, in medical terms, was for pain management. The secondary benefit is that it's use gives you the munchies so, in Bracknells case, it is a given that you WILL eat 22 Mars Bars, 8 bags of king sized onion rings and as much Haribo as you can get every time you partake. This will counteract the effects of cancer on weight loss and prolong the inevitable.....or summat. Could happen!

Oh. Did you tell her to fuck off?

At your age any holes a goal.

………...every cloud, eh...

He has always looked utterly horrendous but now he looks UTTERLY HORRENDOUS. 6 months tops.

Sorry but, if I were in the market for a bust mould, I would be looking for one that had a considerably bigger pair of tits than Barbara Castles.

Racist.

The little fella Warwick Davis. Barely as tall as Japanese leg amputee but, good grief, his hands are fucking HUGE!!!!!

Three mice sitting at a bar in a tough neighbourhood late at night were trying to impress each other with how tough they are. One mouse orders a large scotch, downs it in a single glug and slams the glass onto the bar. He then turns to the second mouse and growls, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it with my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese." The second mouse orders two tall tumblers of Jim Beam, slugs em both down slamming each glass on the bar and snarls, "Yeah; Well when I see rat poison I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up into a powder, and add it to my tea each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day!" Then the two Macho Mice turn to the third mouse, 'Butch', to see what his reaction would be. Butch lets out a long sigh and replies, "I ain"t got time for this bollocks. It's getting late and I still have to raid the butter dish, snack in the breadbox, shit in the fruit bowl, and fuck the cat before I'm ready for bed!"

John:- Boss I am not coming into work to day coz i am sick. Boss:- How sick are you? John:- Well I am in bed with my sister

Fascinating stuff, absolutely fascinating.... Have you tried posting it on Mumsnet? They will love it.

Sorry Cat, you will need to find another male to fill yer cavity!