Lord Fellatio Nelson

Well, next season, the good folk of Hamburg can look forward to a local derby with St Pauli who, to be fair to all, are even more shit than Hamburg SV.

I'm trying to get an exact date that Steven Gerrard actually accepted the job of Rangers manager. Did he accept before or after his gangland 'protector' was shot dead? Has he fucked off up there for reasons other than football? Will Mr Gerrard now be under the protection of Scottish Unionists? Calling Charon to the Batphone!

Thank fuck for that. I've only got one as big as an aphids winkle.

I just remembered. A lorry driver gave way to me on Friday and let me go ahead in the queue. You may never hear anybody say that ever again.

Shit, I remember watching that YEARS ago, never saw it again.

I'm having to steal and post this on here, it is fucking BRILLIANT. Dear Aunty Margie I don't have many friends, so spend a lot of time scouring the Spotted pages on Facebook for anything that might interest me. In addition to being a billy-no-mates, I have a digestive issue which causes me to load my pants at inopportune moments. Just recently on one of the Spotted pages, an anonymous poster was asking for volunteers to try a new herbal-based concoction for people with wrecked guts, you didn't even have to meet the person, you just sent them a message with your details and they would send you the product in the post. Well, with my bowels, you can imagine, I jumped at the chance, and whizzed my details off to the absolutely-unknown-and-in-no-way-qualified-to-fuck-around-with-science dingus who posted the offer. To cut a long story short - I received the mystery herbal substance, took it without hesitation and now my gizzards have fell into my shoes. I want to sue the person who sent it, but my solicitor told me that I have no case because 'I'm a dozy, gullible twat'. What should I do? from Dave Browntrouser of Shepton Mallet Dear Dave Here's what you should do. Buy a cork and don't be such a dozy, gullible twat. love Auntie Margie Written by one of our most respected members who still does not quite comprehend how much talent for writing they possess. Huge fucking talent.

This takes some reading https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2018/may/10/georgina-chapman-harvey-weinsteins-ex-wife-breaks-her-silence Seriously, a complete Grade A cunt who married a fat, ugly, odious RICH and POWERFUL man no more than three years after starting her 'fashion' label.......... By sheer hard work, her business partner and her alone built up the brand getting the rich and famous of Hollywood to wear the ranges on the red carpet etc etc etcfucking cetera. Naturally. Well I hope his cum didn't taste too salty my dear.

Lardy lets me get away with murder!

I do not see any singers here. Pixie Lott is headlining our Town festival this summer.

Fucking hell, they don't have a great track record in starting threads Toastie. Don't encourage them.

It's actually all fucking terrible. It really is no way to bow out.

If age defines growing boob size, you must have a rack larger than a Baboons bollocks. Geriatric.

Absolutely!

Yeah, admit it, it has fuck all to do with racing.

Vote for Charon. You know it makes sense.

Unlike you.

There are good Politicians out there. They tend not to promise the earth but actually try to deliver it anyway. What gave Trump the Presidency was more than the sum total that he was no Politician, he was also seen to be a hugely rich and hugely successful businessman that was a mover and shaker. A powerful, no nonsense businessman that could kick 'ass' Oprah is a businesswoman in a different sphere, successful but not in a way that would convince Trump voters that she would be a better bet. The fact that his family built the empire before he was a twinkle in the eye was not really an issue, the guy was a powerful voice, a business professional and a plain speaker who said what millions thought but dared not to say. Again, the rights and wrongs are not important, what is important is that Oprah will not beat Trump if she started to campaign last year, she will be found out PDQ. This notion that she can dig into the 'populist' tone of the country is no different to Corbyn, over here, being the voice of the people. He attracts many but that is not a whole country, people still do not think he is capable of leading us to the promised land. Oprah will not be any different to millions of US citizens.

Another fucking upgrade.

........or maybe a fucking GOOD Politician. Clinton was anything but and, obviously, having a campaign that centered on the premise that the Democrats only had to turn up to beat that bum Trump was both moronic and conceited. Trump played a blinder, love him or hate him. The greater good of US Politics ignored whole swathes of American society, the people that once worked in Car Industries, Mines, Steel plants, all those millions of Yanks who used to get up to go to work and put a shift in then come home, mow the lawn and then go to the store in the Dodge pick up then come home and watch Saturday Night live or summat. What Trump promised, pretty much a return to/growth in manufacturing, was bollocks but, when all before promised nothing and delivered even less than nothing, what did they really have to lose? Fuck all. Oprah will gain no more votes than Clinton, fuck, people STILL don't get it, somebody has to promise to deliver JOBS more than a cohesive society. Nobody got fed hugging somebody, nobody paid the mortgage with kind words and nobody will give a shit about a fragmented society until there are jobs, jobs and more jobs. With jobs comes self esteem and you cannot care about your brothers and sisters, the migrants and foreign policy if you have had all your self esteem kicked out of you by successive administrations that postured, preened and excelled at sound bites but actually changed not a fucking thing that made a difference to the millions that actually mattered. How the fuck will Oprah bring jobs to Wisconsin, Ohio and the like? Aye, she will employ them all through Harpo Productions.

Well, to some, he is.

I'm not biting.

If it is launched from a cannon it could!

No it isn't! Those bastards want Gibraltar.