Lord Fellatio Nelson

Ahhh, now I've certainly wanted to see Jackie Abbott and Mr Heaton for a while now. Not normally my kind of thing but, together, they make it work for me.

Here is one for the anoraks out there.. Can anybody name any Classic winning horses that are still alive? UK 1000/2000 Guineas /Derby/Oaks/ King George/ St Ledger/Arc winners and, for our US chums winners of the Kentucky/Preakness ( and the others coz I do not know) as well as the Breeders Cup Turf and Dirt or summat.

Smart a(R)se.

I think you may have missed the purpose of the Conspiracy theory schtik.

Seeing that has got Simon Cowell on the blower to Stephen Hawking. It could 'appen!!!

Two things spring to mind. Firstly, some things will never be released, they will just keep getting pushed back over and over. Secondly, what are the odds of Trump being 'accidentally strangled by his fringe' before said Kennedy info is actually released??? Hmmmm

Michael Winner has also been accused by a couple of British, er, 'character actresses....'

Did Bale say Hola from his sick bed? Money for old rope on that one.

Not a sperm gargling Gooner, are we? Anyway, that's a tragic picture. I know Greaves was a bit of an old cantankerous bastard but, Im sure, its not the way he would want to go, or summat.

Back in the day she seemed to be in every sit com going. I thought she would have been, at least, 112 years old.

When I was a boy I used to think that Sandy Gall had one of those faces that had been partially melted in a fire or summat. I was obviously wrong though.

Stormzy = Wankzy.

Exactly!

Come on now. If anybody knows how to keep people alive its Mugabe. He tortures them till they are almost dead......then brings them back from the brink.......then tortures them till they are almost dead......then brin........

So you go and park up at Tescos, the car park being as big as a football pitch. You park away from everybody else, umpteen spaces around you and spaces as far as the eye can see. You do your shopping then come out to find an utter fucking wankstain has parked right next to you. You also observe other utter cretins doing likewise then trying to haul themselves out of the narrow door opening so as not to have their door hit the adjacent cars one. What the fucking hell is wrong with people? Why are they so fucking THICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1-1. I cannot complain.

It may as well be.

EFA

Erm, no. Im just trying to think of what the euphemism would be because Im a bit dim.

My garden looks more shit than normal. I have had to replace some rotten fence posts. Unfortunately, the builder of my home decided that they would set the posts in enough concrete to ward off a nuclear strike ( Trumps fault ) so that, I alone, could not possibly lift out or break up the old shite without serious injury or summat. The Firebird came to the rescue!!

Ed Sheeran gets knocked over in London and he only breaks his fucking arm. FFS!! I blame Trump.

Maybe he thinks you are a hermaphrodite.

Did you keep the seat warm?

I just, I just can't help myself CA!!

Tuesday.