Lord Fellatio Nelson

IT before IT.

Aye, a diet of raw meat and haggis hasn't done you any harm, has it!

I'm on statins, the lowest dosage. Personally, if you are a bit old, I'd be in asking for a blood test to check your cholesterol.

Ive not seen this film for a very long time.

The only rancid steamer you curl out is out of your arse after a night of Vodka and Kebabs.

Go back to being Z. You were much happier then.

I know he aint dead!! I actually thought he was much older than he actually is, the man was playing for Celtic forever!

You are better off going outside, laying down and waiting for it to happen.

I have never heard of him. The only legendary Scottish Celtic player I really know is this fella.. A legendary hard bastard and top player that always made me think he was on the IRA council or summat. A footballer totally loyal to his one and only club ( apart from the Accies and they don't count) they don't make men like him anymore. Respect.

She has never been any good since she left No 73.

Life is fab, innit.

Could you see your feet?

I always hated it and I still fucking hate it. I also hated William ' I directed Sid James' G spot Stewart. One of our most valued members was on a much better programme, Countdown, which has that utter sex kitten Susie Dent on it. No contest.

TBF, she has had more pricks in her than a pub dartboard. She is never going to look particularly chipper, is she!

No, North of the wall does have some outstanding beauty, no doubt about it.

This is why I drive.

I once had a baby one come out of a hedge to see who was making such a racket. It was no more than a foot away from me. It then buggered off.

You mean it's a bit shit Toastie.

He was, I think, married to that woman, Laura, who used to present the winner with the trophy at the end of the 15 to 1 series.

Fucking hell. You are full of cheer, aren't you!

No.

I do Toastie.

Yeah, his 'comeback' record was on Radio 2 this morning. I thought Chris Evans was going to ejaculate onto his underlings, such was his excitement. It was ok. Sparks new single shits all over it.

Still going, still fucking ace.....IMHO.