Lord Fellatio Nelson

The real compliment is that he is young and doesn't act like a complete bell end like most of the other youngsters on here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_and_Lewis

Like fuck it was. Designed by Spen King and launched in 1970. A small Island inhabited by clever bastards.

Well its on in the background. I fucking DETEST Cookery shows.

Ex French Tennis Pro, Henri Leconte is on Celebrity MasterChef. Am I the only person that has always called him Henri the cunt? Ok..

Well, that will actually be accurate within the next week or two.

EFA

Looking at the pictures of that Mini its amazing she got out in one piece let alone alive.

Id be well impressed if the bust of the great man was carved from the very tree that ran out in front of his Mini Clubman.

Yeah, considering Des O'Connor is 85 and looking AND sounding rather frail, Id say Aspel is good for 90 plus. Famous last words....

That just sound like a load of old gibberish bollocks. Are you pissed?

Dele Alli always makes me think of Delicatessen.

Yeah the sending off didn't help but we would have won in the end. It may have been a 0-1 to us instead of the final score. Shelvey is a complete dick, he cost you any chance whatsoever of a draw.

You wouldn't have won. We were better.

Lucky old you!!!!

Well, in all fairness, Shane has a good few gaps between his teeth for the lad to stick his willy between.

Well in the dream you were so, to be fair, you wasn't avoiding it then, was you!!

Last night I had a dream where I met Handy at a party. She was wearing a shimmering sleeveless dress and spoke with a soft scouse accent. Strange.

What channel is it on then?

Ive just started to watch a doco ( via Sky arts ) about Laurel and Hardy. Ive watched about 30 mins of it, I will watch the rest later. They are the greatest of the greatest and I still laugh as much when I watch them as I did as a kid. Chaplin was shite tho.

Right, Ive not forgotten this. IF anybody is interested in a pilgrimage to DLs centre of worship, lets have your interest expressed or summat. Obviously, all main details will be done via PM and Morse Pigeon to maintain our absolute secrecy and anon....well you know. I did initially suggest May but March or April would be fine by me too, the main thing will be to get those who can and want to go to, erm, go. Hopefully R.A will be reading this, his attendance with his mega sized folder under his left armpit is a must and a DL tradition ( as is Lardy and LGs capacity to drink) Mebee even NAP Tuber may read this, you never know...... Charon, if you can make it we will all wear Orange for you. Over to you folks.

So you order something from a shop, online or whatever. Then they try to deliver it but you are not at home. Do you actually fucking expect somebody along the road just to take it in on your behalf, like be a parcel depot or something just for you? Well you can fuck off. Tip. If you buy stuff ( like on ebay or summat ) don't buy from anybody that doesn't send by Parcel Force or click and collect at Argos. That way, if you are not home when they deliver you can pop down to the sorting office/store to collect it. If not, arrange BEFORE the bastards deliver to have somebody home or for somewhere for the delivery driver to drop off. As, in this case, he had to cart two big fuck off cases of wine back onto his van, what with him being a bit previous thinking id just let the fucking things clog my hall way for the day, week, month, who knows? Wankers. PS: No, I dont drink vinegar wine

9 years ago.

Of course, Im not saying it out aloud when i type, am I!!