Lord Fellatio Nelson

Please don't assume that you are so important that I or anybody else here considers you important enough to 'start a war' with. 17 posts and you are swanning around like you are somesort of fucking warrior. You have come to the wrong place.

You have gone soft. Still bigger than yours when hard tho? Currently I dont really have anything against you the car thing was just a gag but I will if you keep insisting on feeding me one-size-fits-none mail-order comebacks like that. I doubt it, Im hung like a shire horse.

You have gone soft.

Just because you haven't heard of these people before doesn't mean they're poor candidates. Spade will clearly prove you wrong. Nah, you just pick nobodies, I bet you even got morgan tsvangirai in there. You really need to read these, might give you an idea on how to get into character and be, ya know, funny. http://www.ourcivilisation.com/smartboard/shop/corena/

The fact that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IN BRITAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is not too busy either working at or sleeping off the effect of a ZERO HOURS MINIMUM WAGE JOB!!!!!!!!!!, is very angering to this YOUNG MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS ALL THE HalibutS FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, deffo Zorders.

Edited for how many inches each one added to your dick 100% Zorders or his love child.

Ok... 1971 Hillman Hunter GT 1972 Vauxhall Victor Estate 1973 Saab 99 1961 Morris Mini Minor 1976 Vauxhall Chevette 1976 Fiat 131 Estate 1970 Hillman Avenger 1973 Vauxhall Viva 1973 Ford Granada Ghia 1976 Vauxhall Cavalier 1974 Ford Cortina 2000E 1974 Ford Cortina 2.0 LTR XL 1980 Vauxhall Chevette 1983 Vauxhall Astra Estate 1984 Ford Sierra 2.0 LTR Ghia 1982 Ford Escort 1980 Ford Cortina 1.6 XL 1983 Ford Sierra 1.6 GL 1984 Vauxhall Astra Hatchback 1987 Vauxhall Cavalier 2.0 CDi 1992 Ford Escort TD 1986 Vauxhall Senator 3.0 1987 Vauxhall Cavalier Hatch 1984 Ford Sierra 1.6 GL 1987 Renault 11 TXE 1990 Rover 416GSi 2000 Hyundai Accent Hatch 2001 Honda CRV 2002 Ford Focus TD 2002 Rover 75 2002 MG ZT 190 1991 Renault Trafic 1999 Opel Monterray 2004 Vauxhall Zafira 1998 Seat Ibiza TD 1996 Vauxhall Cavalier SRI 2007 Renault Clio Tom Tom 2010 Renault Clio GT 2011 Renault Megane Coupe 2014 Skoda Fabia Monte Carlo 2016 Skoda Octavia ( some old c**t tried to write it off... ) and... 5 Reliant Scimitar 6As 1 Reliant Scimitar 5A 1 Capri 2.8 Injection 1 Rover V8 P6 1 Mercedes Benz 420 SE 1 Lotus Excel ( still have it) 1 Pontiac Firebird ( still have it ) ....and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

You, in a company car, in a suit, employee of the month......

He should have resigned with Cameron.

Deffo Z then.....

The organiser of the race no less, might be difficult to conduct the health and safety enquiry into this one's meeting with the organiser. Funnily enough, when I was watching the Red Bull Soapbox Racing with my children over Christmas, I thought the safety measures were a bit lax, with competitors hurtling downhill, completely out of control and without any protective headgear. I don't think a fatality in this competition is completely out of the question. Incidentally, the programme was on a channel called 'Dave'. I saw these programmes over Christmas and had a very similar conversation with the old man. Very surprised at the lack of health and safety measures. Im not sure how much Health and Safety you can force onto grown ups hooning down hills in a Go Kart. Anti lock brakes? Crash Helmets? Man walking infront carrying a red flag? More people will die racing Cars and Motorbikes, and they do have stringent Health and Safety regimes, than will die racing Go Karts that looks like a Hospital beds or WW2 Churchill Tanks or summat.

You must go through some batteries!

So no public engagements then CA?

How shit a driver are you? And can you give the make and model of each one and it's name (if you name your cars)? Im not a 'shit driver' I just love cars like Gascoigne loves Gin. Yes I can remember them all and, no, I don't name them but I will name one of them 'Deathsperm' as a tribute to you, ok? Fair dos, hope they gave you a lot of enjoyment. Any real bangers in the list from when you started driving like an old Robin reliant or a austin allegro? Loads!

One for every year you've been driving. Well............

How shit a driver are you? And can you give the make and model of each one and it's name (if you name your cars)? Im not a 'shit driver' I just love cars like Gascoigne loves Gin. Yes I can remember them all and, no, I don't name them but I will name one of them 'Deathsperm' as a tribute to you, ok?

So far I have counted up to 52 cars that I have owned since I started driving.........

Martin Landau Now that's a bit spooky. Only yesterday I wondered about him and whether his marriage to Barbara Bain was now one of the oldest in 'Showbusiness'

Certain things may not translate too well, I suppose? I used to like 'The Wonder Years' but could never imagine it being made here and set in Cleethorpes or the like.

Updated for you. Must be a software thing. I cant put a space between your names. Hyphen or underscore doesn't seem to work either. Wouldn't it be funny if you were that excruciatingly vile woman who 'writes' for the Daily Fucking Mail! You read the Daily Mail??????????????????/

They did, big time. They first did a Pilot with Colm Meaney as Gene Hunt then decided that was shit and went for Harvey Keitel. It was still shit. Edit: To be absolutely fair, we did a version of 'That 70s show' which, I think, actually got pulled mid first series because it was utterly shite. It didn't help having it set in Luton.

As much as I dislike having to go to work I dislike even more the 'in work, off work, in work, off work' bullshit that is our Christmas/New year break. I feel fat, fucking awful and just want somesort of normality to commence. I hate feeling this way.

You are a short arse then Toastie?

Are you sure you're not a Brazilian? I'm plenty of things associated with that area, so I'm told. You are going to fit in just fine.