Lord Fellatio Nelson

I am currently pulling the heads off of pigeons and wanting to stab some lying old c**t between his failing effing eyes. Despite attempting to wipe Lady FN and me out on our main roundabout, the c**t has decided not to admit liability. Unfortunately for him, by his own words, he was heading for the A47 exit that was AFTER the exit I was taking. Basically, If he was in the correct lane, I would have had to have been driving on the centre of the cunting roundabout to have cut across him THE F UCKING OLD CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be proved right.

That will be two coffins then. One for him and one for his lips.

We need to crowd fund an old Telephone box to put this thread into.

Ooh, nasty. Wear gloves!Yeah Boxing gloves. It will stop you fucking typing.

Love the post MK because you have confirmed what we all suspect, you will only ever be capable of losing your virginity to an old woman Unfortunately for you my mummy isnt into sock wanking 16 yr old Micks. So its back to socks over cocks and a well thumbed copy of Take a Break for you then.

Well the latest Euro space probe has, apparently, landed on the surface of Mars but has not emitted the signal expected to say that it had. As I said to Lady FN when Beagle 2 ( or whatever it was called) was previously sent there and was lost and reiterated this morning when the latest probe was expected to touch down, fuck all will be allowed to work on that Planet if its not under the control of the big three in the Space race. The team behind the latest one are 'hopeful' that it will start transmitting, I bet it wont. I could be wrong...

Ive got her on my list.

I reckon this thread needs a bit more of an edge. Maybe something like a 'George v Leonard' 'Which one will go first? That kinda thing. If George seems to be the mega favourite then, surely, there are zillions of Cohens around the Globe and some MUST be famous enough to challenge Len, eh?

You could be right. Most of us think you are really a spotty sock w***er who cant get a girl.

I just had to look up who he was. For knowing who the fuck he was is - 320 street cred points for you ya Jock.

I doubt if she really figured that one out. Truly appalling, how the f**k can a country end up with two of the biggest cunts to vote for? Conspiracy theory!!! Run by whom? The Russians?Lizard people? Possibly the ghost of Jimmy Savile.

I doubt if she really figured that one out. Truly appalling, how the fuck can a country end up with two of the biggest cunts to vote for? Conspiracy theory!!!

Well Ive tried to let it. Ive totally lost the 'Engerrrland' spirit. Im not giving a fuck Roll on to Spurs next game.

But when was your last White Christmas? F ucking racist.

Lara Roxx sucked too many cocks Now shes got HIV If only she listened to what mummy said Dont play with sperm just pee!! or summat

We really need to alter the title of this thread. Every time I see it Im thinking its about some new Man City signing.

Joeyruss id cast him out on a boat with no oars and rollocks and if he dared to come back to shore Id kick him in the bollocks, or summat

Yeah a Facebook friend was wetting herself over this one. First gig when she was 10, now she's going along to celebrate turning 40. Coming soon, David Cassidy's SAGA sponsored tour of UK care homes Aye, imagine all those piss soaked XXL knickers being hurled at him!

I don't think its possible to offend you!!

Plus with thumocoming court date that'll prove the huns are a new club, here's how it works.. I cannot recall ever calling you a 'Jock' even though you are.

I visited Jim Morrisons grave. It was in a f ucking disgraceful condition, mind you large parts of Paris are too.

Roughly how old a dad kid?He is 50 this year. Well then a Prostitute, some jump leads and a heavy duty battery for his bollocks.

Emotions. My daughter wanted a cat, I was told 'it would make her happy' ( didn't work, she is still a miserable c**t at times..) so I reluctantly agreed. She came home with TWO of the f***ers, both female and they have fucked the house over good and proper. She is actually moving out in the next couple of weeks and will be taking them with her, except at the moment one of them is missing, the shy and nervy one. This will be the second night she has been AWOL and, honestly, im gutted. See, this is why I didn't want effing cats or dogs or any other pet that can actually feel and think ( in a way a hamster cant ) you become emotionally attached to them. Ive shouted at them for shitting in the hall, ruining the carpet, farting, you name it. Ive also cuddled them, talked to them and fed them zillions of 'chewy sticks' that they love. If she doesn't come back it will break my heart. Fact.

Woahhhhh!! She is taking the piss, she expects donations and not so much as a hand job in return??

What has this to do with how to do things on this site? its called the death list HOWTO and i am showing you how to make pink lemonade Stumbled across this looking for something else. Missed it at the time. The combination of clueless, passive aggression, and unintended comic timing makes this my new favourite post ever. Haven't laughed that long at a Deathlist thing since the Albert Hoffman tribute translation. Well you have to get the laughs where you can nowdays, DL has been a bit barren for sometime now, apart from Lardy. PS: Im not saying Lardy isn't barren, she is probably still fertile and not all dried up yet.........