Lord Fellatio Nelson

I must have been living a very sheltered life. I had not a fucking clue that so much paramilitary material existed on there.

Ive just had a look back on the threads. Pitifully few have been started by "newbies", infact, its pretty much sod all. There are no absolute geniuses on here (apart from MPFC ) no absolute tossers ( BS RIP ) and nobody who thinks they are as funny as fuck (except for Lardy ) so what is so difficult about starting a thread to try and keep this place alive? Over to you. PS: My favourite turnip, at this moment in time, is Wayne Rooney.

Ive done those IQ tests before. Cant say that I was overly impressed with their consistency. IMHO there is too much variation of results, my tests kept showing "Idiot" or "Fucking Idiot." Well Im either one or the other, I cant be both!

Fair point Mary. Hopefully others will follow. Looking back on this thread, I do wonder what happened to The Pooka. That fellow was fuggin class!

He fucked someone. He got caught. He's still a twat. End of story.... Thanks. I thought it must have been something like that. So Coleen. What first attracted you to the potato head, jug eared, pug faced multi millionaire Wayne Rooney? Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Colleen his childhood sweetheart? If so, then the girl's got a freakish taste in men, as his bank balance wouldn't have been all that impressive back then. In fairness she was hardly Audrey Hepburn when they met. Plenty of money (his) knowing the right stylists ( through his fame) and choosing the right causes to champion and lead (courtesy of being thrust into the limelight by marriage to him) has significantly contributed to her stock. Hey, had she not met Wayne, she would have met Jezza or summat, married him and, probably be living in a terraced house in Kirkby. Wayne, on the other hand, would still be playing for UTD. Thats showbusiness! PS: Maybe she feels that she should have married Jezza instead of Wayne, in view of recent events. Then again...nah.

Really? I assumed it was also Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.

Isn't that a bit excessive? I don't think I could name 1000 famous people, let alone 1000 famous people who I think are going to die in the coming year. Some may say RA is excessive, some may say he is a statistical pornography merchant - I'm off for a wank That, without doubt, is one of the best retorts for some time.

Well, according to that ultra reliable organ, Wikki, his dad lived till he was 95!! I suspect, somebody like RA or TMIB would have more of an idea than me. Im not really into death. Oh, welcome, we need all the help we can get. Blinkin' Blimey! That's something I don't bother to factor in. I feel it's how you live your life that counts - but prove me wrong, and I'll then have even more work cut out for me to "undertake". RA, you are an absolute legend. I would suspect that, given your utterly meticulous tracking of possibles, you would have a fair idea, given the trends your data may throw up, not only the age he will die but at what time, where he will be and whether he had his eggs poached or scrambled. Now throw that genuine modesty to one side and tell us when you think he will be departing. With the greatest of respect, for all the genius and meticulous planning he does, my top 50 is doing better than his top 50...and none of mine were executed. Oh well, that blows my theory out of the water. RA, you are a fraud!!!!!

DL is better because I can say fuck on here without getting told off by my kids. And my dad's not on DL. My dad on Facebook, for fuck's sake. He's 58 Yeah!! 58, fuck thats totally ancient man!!! Whats the cut off date Lardy? Im heading for 46, is that too old? Should I quit when im 50? You are just another ageist bastard, arent you. Definitely am. People should be banned from social networking sites at about 40, banned from driving at about 50, and banned from living at about 60 So Ive not got too long then..... Any chance of bringing that final date forward? I think life is as exciting as its gonna get for me, i might as well fucking bale out now as, to go on much longer will surely mean that im going to die of excitement... Ah, quit yer whining, gramps, and go and watch Countdown and do a jigsaw puzzle - I hit 37 next week Don't get his hopes up...thats a week day show. Thank you Winny. If I were unemployed or a student, im sure id have loads of time to watch it. Unfortunately, I have to go to work to support all those people that dont work and all those Scottish Students that dont and are subsidised blah, blah, yawn, yawn...

Well, according to that ultra reliable organ, Wikki, his dad lived till he was 95!! I suspect, somebody like RA or TMIB would have more of an idea than me. Im not really into death. Oh, welcome, we need all the help we can get. Blinkin' Blimey! That's something I don't bother to factor in. I feel it's how you live your life that counts - but prove me wrong, and I'll then have even more work cut out for me to "undertake". RA, you are an absolute legend. I would suspect that, given your utterly meticulous tracking of possibles, you would have a fair idea, given the trends your data may throw up, not only the age he will die but at what time, where he will be and whether he had his eggs poached or scrambled. Now throw that genuine modesty to one side and tell us when you think he will be departing.

You are slacking, my girl! This is the one you were looking for, wasnt it?

Ah, Mary, never judge genius on an Academic platform, judge it on what one brings to the table of life, or summat. You, dear Mary, conceal your genius in plain, simple text and will forever be intrinsically linked to this organ of death. I dont doubt that "i.e" is potential genius but, where is she? Until she comes forth to claim the crown, well..... Lardy, I have to confess, does make me laugh out loud, this place would be so utterly dull without her being on the bone and to the point. Madame, it does not matter if you are Mensa material, you are sharp enough for the rest of us and are much liked by all. Did you, erm, know Banshees at school? Just wondering, like. Anyways, as proof as proof can be, not one "newbie" ( depending on your own personal definition) has posted so far. As a rule of thumb, it may happen in about 3 days time. Until then, its left to the usual suspects to pass comment, conversation and the time of day, which is sad.

That man was in loads of programmes in the 70s, possibly, one of the most in demand character actors. I never did know his name and now I do, its all rather spooky. What a coincidence that his surname is Dunbobbin. I spent a good part of my teenage years dreaming that his Liverbirds co star Nerys Hughes would never be Dunbobbin up and down on me! What a strange old World! Nerys Fucking Hughes? You really are one sick puppy. Nooo!! Once upon a time she was a young fullsome bit of stuff. Mind you I was once a young, wholesome boy with a raging stiffy. Now Im just an old perv whos forgotten what a stiffy is.. Anyway,I cannot have been the only lad who may have cracked one off to the image of Ms Hughes.

DL is better because I can say fuck on here without getting told off by my kids. And my dad's not on DL. My dad on Facebook, for fuck's sake. He's 58 Yeah!! 58, fuck thats totally ancient man!!! Whats the cut off date Lardy? Im heading for 46, is that too old? Should I quit when im 50? You are just another ageist bastard, arent you. Definitely am. People should be banned from social networking sites at about 40, banned from driving at about 50, and banned from living at about 60 So Ive not got too long then..... Any chance of bringing that final date forward? I think life is as exciting as its gonna get for me, i might as well fucking bale out now as, to go on much longer will surely mean that im going to die of excitement...

You are good, very good.

Well, according to that ultra reliable organ, Wikki, his dad lived till he was 95!! I suspect, somebody like RA or TMIB would have more of an idea than me. Im not really into death. Oh, welcome, we need all the help we can get.

That man was in loads of programmes in the 70s, possibly, one of the most in demand character actors. I never did know his name and now I do, its all rather spooky. What a coincidence that his surname is Dunbobbin. I spent a good part of my teenage years dreaming that his Liverbirds co star Nerys Hughes would never be Dunbobbin up and down on me! What a strange old World!

DL is better because I can say fuck on here without getting told off by my kids. And my dad's not on DL. My dad on Facebook, for fuck's sake. He's 58 Yeah!! 58, fuck thats totally ancient man!!! Whats the cut off date Lardy? Im heading for 46, is that too old? Should I quit when im 50? You are just another ageist bastard, arent you.

I dont get what all the fuss is about. Facebook isnt a living being, nobody is pulling out your toe nails if you dont have an account or go onto it. You dont have to be "friends" with anybody, you dont have to give status updates, you dont have to post comments, you dont have to join groups or have a Farm or summat and, basically, you dont have to do fuck all. Is it intrusive? Probably Can it give too much information about you to a third party? Almost certainly. Then again, the same can apply to a multitude of Social networking sites/forums. FB is no better and no worse than spending too much time on here.

Any old MODs from the late 70s about? You might remember

C minus, must try harder The police arrived on my doorstep last night, and showed me a photograph - 'is this your wife Sir' - 'yes it is, what's happened' - 'I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident' - 'I know, but she's got a lovely personality'. Ungraded, young Lardy. That was shite. The British Airways flight from New york to Heathrow has been airborne for an hour. The pilot makes an announcement over the tannoy: " Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain John Thomas speaking." I am assisted, for this flight by my Co Pilot Fred Bloggs and navigator Jim Smith." "We are currently flying at 37,000 feet into a mild head wind, clear blue skies lay ahead and we are scheduled to arrive at London Heathrow airport at approximately 7.25PM local time." "I do hope you enjoy you flight and I will be speaking to you all shortly before we land" "Thank You" Unfortunately the Captain leaves the intercom on and this is what everybody hears. Co Pilot: " Well Captain, what are you going to do when we land?" Captain: Well first of all, Im going to empty my bowels, Im dying for a crap! Then tonight, Im going to take that new Stewardess we've got on this plane out, im going to wine her and dine her then im going to take her back to my place and fuck the arse off her!!! The Stewardess hears this and, mortified, runs down the plane towards the cockpit. As she does so, she trips over an old ladys bag in the Aisle. As she hits the floor, she looks up to see the old lady say: " I wouldnt rush love, he's going for a shit first.

Now that is almost as funny as this Thats an old'un but a good'un. Funnier still are the comments people have put on

I agree. As I understand it, one of the mods (name withheld to protect the innocent) removed some of your posts in an attempt to avoid escalation and put off other DL posters. I have, at this moment, no opinion on that, since I haven't read those posts. I probably never will; as I understand it they've gone the way of all bits. The matter has my attention, as per my job description. I'll let you know the results. As far as I'm concerned it stays here. Your complaint (if that's the word) is valid, whether those posts were deleted in accordance to the Unwritten Rules or not. Compared to some other fora that I know, moderation here is pretty relaxed. More than 90% of the deleted posts are duplicates, quote only posts and, of course, spam. Otherwise, content is very rarely cause for removal. Posts that do not address the topic and which contain just insults and provocations often go, though. Again, I don't know if your posts were of that kind, so they may or may not have been deleted for a good reason. There is no formal moderation policy, and I don't want one. I trust the mods' judgement and I don't check their work unless I have serious reasons to do so. I've done so only once, when I was made aware that a mod had turned to the Dark Side. Unfortunately, you'll have to take my word for all this. I'm aware that you have no way of verifying what I write above. Moderation won't go in Room 101, but it's good to discuss it every now and again. regards, Admin Hein Fair play to you Hein, you didnt have to respond, nor should you have. That could have been done by the delete happy mod. Thanks LFN

Alex Ferguson has had a 1980's themed party for his players. Ryan Giggs arrived in a Cavalier, Paul Scholes in a Sierra and Wayne Rooney chose to cum in an Escort.....

Anal retentive moderation. This is bugging the shit out of me, dunno why, the forum isnt the centre of my universe. There used to be a time when you could have a good old punch up on here and it wouldnt matter. Ive had posts pulled recently and im trying to work out what parts of them were contentious, way, way over the top or downright libelous. Part of the fun in coming on here was that i could leave my neck fully unwound and go and play. No taboo subjects here, no hurt feelings, nobody gave a fuck and you could fill yer boots with whatever subject matter was on the menu. Now? The place is a fucking disaster. Apart from the hardcore of stalwarts who are hanging on grimly, many have fucked off or now post once in a blue moon. Remember STTG? perhaps Boudicca? what about BS FFS!!! No doubt, some kindly mod will either erase this post or move it, out of the goodness of their heart to the other side of the Forum and the thread "Is DL dying?" or summat. Before anyone wants to stick their paws on it, re read the first three words of this post, then sod off and leave it alone.