Lord Fellatio Nelson

I used to have one of those Josco, the damn saddle kept falling off at the most inappropriate of moments. I now have two arseholes.......... Actually Ive now got three, the third being a Ms Truss. Thanks to Ms Truss ( or SC or...nah I wont speculate further, we know who it probably is ) this thread has not died just yet. Oh the fame.

To one of the very nicest and sweetest people on this forum, happy birthday Handy!!

Spelling and punctuation? What about them? Contribute or f'uck off.

As I'm on a roll today (with Ludo) I'll take a stab at Harwich Harbour. If I'm correct, there's no need for the Escort Reader's Wives, but I'll take the 10 points - Guinness please! It was Harwich Harbour......Guinness is on the way sir. Monkey, Norwich is near enough,well 50 odd miles near enough. Im crushed that you have decided to decline my original request for a few lessons in Industrial language. I bet you know some REALLY filthy words

Correct, now f'uck off. Damn, Man also 'invented' the concept freedom of speech, foiled at every turn. Welcome Disgusted, your views are much appreciated. Its quite unusual for you, dear Monkey, to use expletives when you are so adept in bringing a more reasoned argument to the table. Your decision to descend to the gutter to rebuff the guest turd has made me go all horny. If I give you my mobile number, would it be possible for you to give me a call and swear like an illiterate Docker at me? It wont take more than a few seconds and Id be ever so grateful...

F'ucking brilliant. Sheer genius You are the finest "character" to enter any forum, anywhere. You are playing an absolute blinder. Keep up the good work.

Halitosis was the diagnosis When Banshees asked for the prognosis From Dr McClaine Who went on to explain Why Banshees Scream Although very keen Couldnt get his leg over In New York or Andover So he shot himself....

This thread needs locking, this forum is losing all credibility.............

Ah Banshees, we've been expecting you. LEGAL DISCLAIMER: If you are not him/her, your drivel is of equal standing. It cant possibly be him, a whole page of drivel and he hasnt mentioned how great he is once....

How you have the brass neck to make fun of Norfolk folk being inbreds is quite beyond me. You Wiltshire folk are even more perverted and disgusting! Massaging guinea pigs, my arse. Having said all of that Lardy, Im not sure if you are "In the know" regarding the BBC but, if you are, could you get word to the Beebs Susanna Reid and let her know that there is a Python small grass snake in West Norfolk that could do with a massage from her fair hands?

It should be a fabulous time this Christmas in Heaven Stephen Gately will be singing the Hymns Patrick Swayze will be doing the dancing Keith Floyd will be doing all the cooking and Michael Jackson will be playing with the kids...

MC Monkey, what have you done A thread where you think Benefits none A poem or Rhyme I dont have the time To think of anything rude To piss off a prude To rhyme or not Ive given it a shot If I now say Pollocks I can finish with Bollocks!!

Bloody hell, you are posh!! I bet not many people have Broadband in their cow sheds.

Yes Michael, of course you can be my friend Anybody else why you are at it? I dunno, I offer my hand of friendship and, no sooner than I have added you, you are off whoring your friendship to all and sundry! I thought I was special, I was going to let you call me Lord Sucky too. I feel betrayed by a harlot, tossed off aside to allow others to enter your bed of friendship. Im utterly crushed. How could you do this to me Yvonne, not even a poem!

Thank f'uck for that! I thought it was just me...

What a shocker. Drugs is my guess. Who is Stephen Gately? Isn't this more significant, death by gingervitis? I always thought you got Gingervitis if you didnt wipe your arse properly.

F'uck off you Norfolk dwelling web fingered inbreed. Im shocked, crushed and angry. How dare you! PS: Are we now pissing on his chips by posting horseshit all over his baby?

.......I think I need my head examining...........

Why do I get the distinct impression that im getting f'ucked over?!

I think its our duty, as upstanding citizens, to take Yvonne under our wing. Come on people, lets all add Yvonne to our friends list!!

Thank you for the welcome, sir. Could you pass me the soap, please? Soap? WTF do you think this kind of hotel is? We only have shower gel here. If thats to posh for you, fook off and go and stay in a Travelodge.

I truly dont know whether to congratulate an existing members genius in the creation of "Yvonne" or whether to feel a deep sense of sadness for a "real" Yvonne sitting alone at her computer, cats meowing around her feet.............. Sod it.........Yvonne sweetie, you have another friend.

I think the problem was that nobody fully opened the door for Lardy to barge in. Example: LFN to Lardy: Do you know if SC has seen Uranus? Lardy: Seen it? My arse is that fooking big even Stevie Wonder could see it!!! In one fell swoop, topic hijacked and obliterated.

You mean to say that you, a poor and destitute student, had a £5 note on you?! How dare you spend the fruits of my labour! I want it back NOW, you little f'ucker!!! I paid my own fees this year. You are no longer sponsoring this native Scot. And the purchase - a bottle of juice and a chocolate sweetie. This means I shall have to find something else to get indignant about. You have let me down Winny!!

You mean to say that you, a poor and destitute student, had a £5 note on you?! How dare you spend the fruits of my labour! I want it back NOW, you little f'ucker!!! The question that's on all of our lips is what precisely were you trying to buy? Anybody care to guess Windy's £1.50 non-purchase? I'll go for a long shot, a copy of Asian babes. Im going for "Mein Kampf, Och Aye The Noo" by Alex Salmond