Lord Fellatio Nelson

You mean to say that you, a poor and destitute student, had a £5 note on you?! How dare you spend the fruits of my labour! I want it back NOW, you little f'ucker!!!

You forgot to mention that he was a scum Gooner too. And despite that, he was also a very good player, who has done rather well for himself. Of course he had all the advantages of being black and born in south London. If it hadn't been for my blonde hair, blue eyes and university education holding me back, I might have been given more opportunities.

Thats right Lardy, shove your arm into SCs Lion cage....

Josco, Im sure that Brick Lane (the heart of East Londons Bengali community )was also on the tip of your tongue. Im guessing that, mid way up your tongue, Bric a brac was skulking and, right at the back of your tongue, was the "Brick Bulletin" a quarterly publication that is seen as the bible for all things brick in the Constuction industry. Unfortunately, none of the above had any chance of leaving your tongue because it was very firmly shoved into your cheek............

Ummm........ok. The rubber brick is a brick...........its possibly as integral to the Brits as a house brick...........could be considered "Arty" in some quarters ( Beds are good enough for Emin)....................a painting of a rubber brick doing what rubber bricks do?.......................who to pose as the child in the pyjamas?...............cant use kids in this "paranoid" climate.........................who can double as a child?...................Jimmy Clitheroe is dead............................Jeanette ( Wee Jimmy) krankie perhaps?.............Lard Bazaaar takes umbrage because she is fed up with being seen as a Jimmy Krankie lookalike........................Rip Van wankle ( Guest) says " You look fook all like her!"................................Godot comments on the remarkable resemblance of Jimmy Krankie to Ex Labour minister Hazel Blears...........................you put up a picture of Dept PM of Australia, who is Ginger but doesnt look like Jimmy Krankie...........................you ask "What has this all to do with bricks?"......................Ummm..........ok. The rubber brick is............... I see...I felt compelled to say LFN please continue but thought that would be in bad taste. Because LFN, where would I be without you? P.S. I thought Gillard looked like him, it whatever it is. Bad taste?! What on here? Where would you be without me? Probably where you are now, somewhere warm, brave, go ahead and somewhere you wouldnt really want to leave, infact everything Blighty isnt! Had to Google Ms Gillard, the average Pom probably doesnt even know who the Prime Minister of Australia is let alone the Deputy. Having read about her I am now deeply concerned that your Government will spend the next 12 years f'ucking you over before Australia finally realises its been had..........but we wont talk Politics here, its all about bricks!!! By Australian standards (you Brits would probably scoff at the notion) it was a cold one in Victoria today (currently 8C), I have my wall heater on - Its surrounded by BRICKS (I'm catching on with the theme of this thread, YAY) As for Gillard, she is Just Another Brick In The Wall of the Labour movement. LFN be impressed as I have attempted to merge Politics with Bricks - Hooray. Also dude I enjoy trading banter with you and the other guys on the forums, Its just great. Plus my girlfriend doesn't know I'm on this site, but she is passed out on the couch - I will continue this on the Drunk? Bored? or Psychopath? thread... Ah, 8C is cold, not freezing cold but cold enough for me. You would have to be talking -50C before anybody in Scotland would beging to feel a chill. "Another Brick in the Wall" is good old lateral thinking Mr Snatcher, good enough for my small brain anyway! Glad you enjoy the banter, thats what its all about, well that and Winny having another moan in Room 101. To keep this thread "B"rickshape and bristol fashioned perhaps I may tempt everybody with a brick that all right minded ladies and more than a few gentlemen consider to be a very tasty brick indeed. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Chocolate brick!! The 1970s advert that accompanied this Chocolate bar consisted of a happy go lucky truck driver ( well that was a f'ucking lie for starters ) going through the whole day on the road with just a Yorkie bar to keep the hunger at bay. Within the song of said advert was this immortal line " a verse which had the UKs hard of hearing choking on their PG tips.Possibly the ulimate type of brick?

What a punch, you can see he was not expecting that! However, who is he? What's the story? Brilliant. Im just haunted by the final few seconds when, seemingly, his hat is hovering there forlornly, looking for a head to sit on

Ummm........ok. The rubber brick is a brick...........its possibly as integral to the Brits as a house brick...........could be considered "Arty" in some quarters ( Beds are good enough for Emin)....................a painting of a rubber brick doing what rubber bricks do?.......................who to pose as the child in the pyjamas?...............cant use kids in this "paranoid" climate.........................who can double as a child?...................Jimmy Clitheroe is dead............................Jeanette ( Wee Jimmy) krankie perhaps?.............Lard Bazaaar takes umbrage because she is fed up with being seen as a Jimmy Krankie lookalike........................Rip Van wankle ( Guest) says " You look fook all like her!"................................Godot comments on the remarkable resemblance of Jimmy Krankie to Ex Labour minister Hazel Blears...........................you put up a picture of Dept PM of Australia, who is Ginger but doesnt look like Jimmy Krankie...........................you ask "What has this all to do with bricks?"......................Ummm..........ok. The rubber brick is............... I see...I felt compelled to say LFN please continue but thought that would be in bad taste. Because LFN, where would I be without you? P.S. I thought Gillard looked like him, it whatever it is. Bad taste?! What on here? Where would you be without me? Probably where you are now, somewhere warm, brave, go ahead and somewhere you wouldnt really want to leave, infact everything Blighty isnt! Had to Google Ms Gillard, the average Pom probably doesnt even know who the Prime Minister of Australia is let alone the Deputy. Having read about her I am now deeply concerned that your Government will spend the next 12 years f'ucking you over before Australia finally realises its been had..........but we wont talk Politics here, its all about bricks!!!

Ummm........ok. The rubber brick is a brick...........its possibly as integral to the Brits as a house brick...........could be considered "Arty" in some quarters ( Beds are good enough for Emin)....................a painting of a rubber brick doing what rubber bricks do?.......................who to pose as the child in the pyjamas?...............cant use kids in this "paranoid" climate.........................who can double as a child?...................Jimmy Clitheroe is dead............................Jeanette ( Wee Jimmy) krankie perhaps?.............Lard Bazaaar takes umbrage because she is fed up with being seen as a Jimmy Krankie lookalike........................Rip Van wankle ( Guest) says " You look fook all like her!"................................Godot comments on the remarkable resemblance of Jimmy Krankie to Ex Labour minister Hazel Blears...........................you put up a picture of Dept PM of Australia, who is Ginger but doesnt look like Jimmy Krankie...........................you ask "What has this all to do with bricks?"......................Ummm..........ok. The rubber brick is...............

Quite brilliant!! So fluent, so effluent I think the DL has found its resident Artist. Godot, we may be able to get around that problem by finding somebody who just looks pubescent. A sort of Jimmy Clitheroe but not actually dead. Anybody got Jeanette Krankies phone number? Sorry Lardy, have I trod on your toes? I do remember that you are vertically challenged and you could, indeed, be our "pubescent" at the pool. If thats what you want? EDIT: Before you get too excited, i just want to make sure that you understand that we are talking about rubber "B"ricks.....

Quite brilliant!! So fluent, so effluent I think the DL has found its resident Artist. Godot, we may be able to get around that problem by finding somebody who just looks pubescent. A sort of Jimmy Clitheroe but not actually dead. Anybody got Jeanette Krankies phone number?

Now THAT is quality posting!!

Monkey and Godot you are both correct to point out that pyjamas and hoop are integral to the whole ensemble and allow the rubber brick to flourish in its role of "Fat git drowning." I would even go as far to say that, perhaps, a painting of a rubber brick being "saved" by a pubescent at the Tooting Bec Lido would be a fabulous addition to any London Gallery. Im sure this would meet with warm approval from those here who have, in the past, championed the likes of Jackson Pollock and considered me to be, shall we say, "Uncultured......" Are there any Piss Artists out there who could paint such a masterpiece?

You forgot to mention that he was a scum Gooner too.

Im disgusted that no mention has been made of the rubber brick. Without the rubber brick millions of School children would have been rendered useless in carrying out the common emergency rescue of diving into a shitty canal, going to the bottom of it and pulling that 18stone suicidal adult from the very depths to the surface. I think we should all take a moment of quiet reflection and pay homage to the wonderful rubber brick.

I rest my case M'lud.

Why are you lot so charming ?? I've never really thought about it but guesty accepts your compliments on behalf of the DL community. Whilst we are asking such searching questions, tell me, why are you so lame at poetry? I think you are a guest in disguise I think you mean "member" in disguise. When SC berated the "quantity" of posts culture, he was obviously looking towards the quality of posting being far more important. So here you are, since 2004, posted a piffling amount, the ideal candidate for SC and his new Aryan race. Problem is, your posts make Hughie Greens shiteometer go off the scale. This pretty much f'ucks the relevence of quantity posting, in relation to quality posting, firmly up the arse. Well done!! Not wishing to put words in Yvonne's mouth, but perhaps she thought that Canadian Paul actually thinks that old people smell of piss, rather than just mentioning a DDP team name. Whilst often accurate, you could argue that it is not exactly a charming thing to say. I had a boy in my class who smelt of piss, but to say that neglected children smell of piss, isn't particularly charming either. Thats a fair comment Dave, however, charming isnt really what this forum is about, is it? DDT, Im not sure there are any keyboard warriors on here, certainly no more keyboard warriors than potential necrophiliacs trawling the WWW looking for the lastest vaguely famous dead to report on...

Why are you lot so charming ?? I've never really thought about it but guesty accepts your compliments on behalf of the DL community. Whilst we are asking such searching questions, tell me, why are you so lame at poetry? I think you are a guest in disguise I think you mean "member" in disguise. When SC berated the "quantity" of posts culture, he was obviously looking towards the quality of posting being far more important. So here you are, since 2004, posted a piffling amount, the ideal candidate for SC and his new Aryan race. Problem is, your posts make Hughie Greens shiteometer go off the scale. This pretty much f'ucks the relevence of quantity posting, in relation to quality posting, firmly up the arse. Well done!!

Ok I admit to being a lazy sod, I havent read this whole thread......... However, I need to know whether Ms Lister has been able to procure life insurance? Regarding her disability. Being quadriplegic, I assume that control of the boat will be confined to somesort of computer controlled by eye/mouth/ breath? If the above is true WTF is so difficult in what she is doing? As a non sailor, if i was taught what buttons needed pressing to carry out different functions, would I not be able to learn to sail quicker than if I was able bodied? Is it not the fact that we are all waiting for her to drown that makes this headline news? If she was that f'ucking clever she would do it without a support craft like anybody else. Sorry, I think the phrase "Know your limits" spring to mind here. She is controlling a boat in a manner that can be taught to other non sailors, she is no more the Captain than the computer. Is it not easier to pass your driving test in an Automatic car than a manual? Look, I understand the kind of headline they are looking for, something like "Man with no arms and legs climbs Everest with his knob" but is it a bit all pretend? She is on a boat, cant move except for her eyes and breathing yet we are top believe her high skills/bravery as a Sailor will enable her to criss cross this water or that water ALL BY HERSELF!!! Yep, its dangerous, less so when the boat is on a virtual auto pilot Hmmmm.

Tell you what TH, if you actually make the meet I shall walk from London to Dover, WALK across the English Channel, crawl on my hands and knees all the way to the Vatican City, knock on the doors of the Papal Apartments and offer to suck the Pope off. For f'ucks sake dont turn up....... Can you actually afford that much time off? Rumour has it Windy hasn't quite finished with his studies and he needs you the humble English taxpayer to give him a hand. Besides, isn't walking/crawling to the Vatican just demonstating the SCO1 gene deficiency syndrome, the inability to part with money. I believe Ryanair have an offer on at the moment and you can't be too far from Stansted. Come on Harry come to England so the pope can come too. Bon appetit LFN! Monkey, Im probably going to have to walk to the DL meet as it is, I will be poor as im soon to part with a sum of money for a Classic car thats older than you I will probably have to crawl on my hands and knees home tho........ On reflection, the Pope has a whole plethora of Choirboys to attend to his needs so, perhaps, he wont be needing me South Park did a beautiful satire on this very point. I feel quite queasy now. It's not this one is it. LFN? Sounds like quite a nice Ford Angular. Lol. No! In saying that Honez, trawling the ads from Lands End to John O's has dug up a veritable feast of adverts which have utterly mangled the English language. Mary, Im thinking that a communion wafer may be a better bet. Im aware that the Popes dick is probably dry, shrivelled and a bit flakey but so is a wafer and I know which of the two Id rather have in me gob. RA, tell him the venue has changed, er.....to High Street China!! Yeah, make it High Street China. I really must learn to shut the f'uck up.

I'm with you on this one. I don't like Alex Salmond either. RE: Signature.......Its "LEG" "END" Winny!

Tell you what TH, if you actually make the meet I shall walk from London to Dover, WALK across the English Channel, crawl on my hands and knees all the way to the Vatican City, knock on the doors of the Papal Apartments and offer to suck the Pope off. For f'ucks sake dont turn up....... Can you actually afford that much time off? Rumour has it Windy hasn't quite finished with his studies and he needs you the humble English taxpayer to give him a hand. Besides, isn't walking/crawling to the Vatican just demonstating the SCO1 gene deficiency syndrome, the inability to part with money. I believe Ryanair have an offer on at the moment and you can't be too far from Stansted. Come on Harry come to England so the pope can come too. Bon appetit LFN! Monkey, Im probably going to have to walk to the DL meet as it is, I will be poor as im soon to part with a sum of money for a Classic car thats older than you I will probably have to crawl on my hands and knees home tho........ On reflection, the Pope has a whole plethora of Choirboys to attend to his needs so, perhaps, he wont be needing me South Park did a beautiful satire on this very point. I feel quite queasy now.

Come on now LG! Dont be too critical of your rivals, Austria and Scotland have much in common. One spawned one of the most evil and destructive bastards of a leader........... and Austria gave us Hitler. Rather than label them "cheats" isnt a group hug and empathy the order of the day?

Tell you what TH, if you actually make the meet I shall walk from London to Dover, WALK across the English Channel, crawl on my hands and knees all the way to the Vatican City, knock on the doors of the Papal Apartments and offer to suck the Pope off. For f'ucks sake dont turn up.......

Neigbours that decide to re enact the weekly scene from the 1970s TV series Butterflies by maneuvering cars in and out of their drive.....at 5.30AM. Dickf'uck has already been warned by Lady FN that I am unhappy with his general disregard for his neighbours, his selfishness and the fact that he is a dopey cnut with a ponytail. The next time it happens, you will all be reading in your newspapapers about the man who was rushed to Hospital with a Mini exhaust pipe rammed up his arse.

I did. What makes a perfect game is one team coming back against another and winning against all the odds. It has nothing to do with the result from anyone's point of view although I would agree the Ozzies and Bayern fans might have found difficulty seeing perfection there. So perfection probably does have to involve an affinity with the winning team (not that I'm a ManU fan). I was simply pointing out that it's typically American to regard a close-out as a perfect game. That's not a perfect game. It's not much of a game at all. In the same way I suppose the Americans would have regarded a perfect Gulf War, one in which the whole of Iraq and its people were obliterated without a scratch among US troops, a bit like the Indian wars - perfect for "closing-out" North America's native inhabitants whose survivors can watch baseball and feel civilised, and yes it is spelled with an "s" in civilised countries. Bear with me, please. Technically it’s possible for both teams to pitch a perfect game in the same match, though this would mean it carrying on at 0-0 for the rest of time, and I can’t see Americans liking that very much. However, a team throwing a no-hitter (almost the same, but base runners can score via errors) could narrowly lose to a team throwing a perfect game in what could be seen (by purists only, perhaps) as a tense and exciting pitching duel. So a perfect game wouldn't necessarily mean “the winning side completely dominates the losing one”. I sense I’m losing readers fast. 'arry, you can't make that argument because you aren't actually arguing that it's bad because it's American. Anybody want to step in and make that argument? Come on now, we havent had a fight for days!