Lord Fellatio Nelson

I did. What makes a perfect game is one team coming back against another and winning against all the odds. It has nothing to do with the result from anyone's point of view although I would agree the Ozzies and Bayern fans might have found difficulty seeing perfection there. So perfection probably does have to involve an affinity with the winning team (not that I'm a ManU fan). I was simply pointing out that it's typically American to regard a close-out as a perfect game. That's not a perfect game. It's not much of a game at all. In the same way I suppose the Americans would have regarded a perfect Gulf War, one in which the whole of Iraq and its people were obliterated without a scratch among US troops, a bit like the Indian wars - perfect for "closing-out" North America's native inhabitants whose survivors can watch baseball and feel civilised, and yes it is spelled with an "s" in civilised countries. Bear with me, please. Technically it’s possible for both teams to pitch a perfect game in the same match, though this would mean it carrying on at 0-0 for the rest of time, and I can’t see Americans liking that very much. However, a team throwing a no-hitter (almost the same, but base runners can score via errors) could narrowly lose to a team throwing a perfect game in what could be seen (by purists only, perhaps) as a tense and exciting pitching duel. So a perfect game wouldn't necessarily mean “the winning side completely dominates the losing one”. I sense I’m losing readers fast. 'arry, you can't make that argument because you aren't actually arguing that it's bad because it's American. Can I step in and make that argument then, CA?

Gordon Brown is dead. Well he may as well be as "The Sun" has now decided to back David Cameron at the next Election.

I did. What makes a perfect game is one team coming back against another and winning against all the odds. It has nothing to do with the result from anyone's point of view although I would agree the Ozzies and Bayern fans might have found difficulty seeing perfection there. So perfection probably does have to involve an affinity with the winning team (not that I'm a ManU fan). I was simply pointing out that it's typically American to regard a close-out as a perfect game. That's not a perfect game. It's not much of a game at all. In the same way I suppose the Americans would have regarded a perfect Gulf War, one in which the whole of Iraq and its people were obliterated without a scratch among US troops, a bit like the Indian wars - perfect for "closing-out" North America's native inhabitants whose survivors can watch baseball and feel civilised, and yes it is spelled with an "s" in civilised countries. Bear with me, please. Technically it’s possible for both teams to pitch a perfect game in the same match, though this would mean it carrying on at 0-0 for the rest of time, and I can’t see Americans liking that very much. However, a team throwing a no-hitter (almost the same, but base runners can score via errors) could narrowly lose to a team throwing a perfect game in what could be seen (by purists only, perhaps) as a tense and exciting pitching duel. So a perfect game wouldn't necessarily mean “the winning side completely dominates the losing one”. I sense I’m losing readers fast. Losing readers fast? They were off down the pub eons ago..... I dont think I have ever heard the terms "tense" and "exciting" attributed to Baseball. Then again, I know bog all about baseball. Is it like Rounders?

Im bored. Done the Ironing, vacuuming, washing, cleaned out the Garage, had a sandwich and now im BORED!!

1)Maybe he'd just finished a night shift. 2)Maybe he had just been on a three hour early morning run. 3)Maybe he's just a smelly tramp claiming his benefits to go and buy 8 cans of Blackthorn for 4 quid in Tesco? 1)Unlikely. 2)Extremely unlikely 3)Likely 4)Highly likely he was just one of those smelly twats that have very poor personal hygene.

Could somebody please explain to me how, at 9.00am in the morning, a man could smell like a Wrestlers Jockstrap? I had the misfortune to be standing behind a stinking wretch of a man in a Post Office queue that was, oh, 6 miles long. There really is no excuse.

You'd have to ask the coroner or attending physician about these matters. One of them is usually the one of them that usually makes the determination of what ended a person having a living time. Perhaps Lane and/or Deedes had several things going at once. For example, cancer and a stroke and botulism or cancer and syphillis or any combination of 2 or more terminal illnesses which would leave the final cause of death as being undetermined or inconclusive. There are times here where, even when it doesnt look like it, a bit of genius occours, whether it be by accident or carefully crafted. I do like you Mr Brimley, Sir.

This thread began as "interesting", dropped off for a bit, meandered between "who gives a sh*t" and "quite interesting" only to suddenly be thrust into the "very interesting" category and now ,low and behold, its gone into the "sh*te" section of the Library. Is that any way to treat the Peoples Princess?

I suppose these could go into the "Fings aint wot they used to be thread", however, they are adverts and probably demonstrate that todays offerings really are no cleverer or better than yesteryears. Those of you of a certain age ( me) will remember these first time round. Lets go back to the 70s!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqBa7eay6Fo

I've made thousands of posts. Can I come? Only if said poster (I'm half thinking it's DDT) has at least 50 fully signed-on postings. Sorry, but I've got to draw a line somewhere, if only to limit my own time on this pressing key pad thing called a computer. Anyway the whole idea is to have like minded folk at this meeting - not a room full of lurkers or people who can't be bothered to sign-in. Just 50 posts? Or does it have to be 50 'quality' posts. Given that I have been invited, I'll take it to be the former. All well and good, Winny, however, i bet you dont turn up....you wuss!! You could at least travel down to be our bouncer at the door. Ive heard you are a big lad...

I dont see what the problem is? Why are you already making apologies when you have no need to? If people dont like what you post they either wont respond or will have a whinge ( us poms are good at whinging) and you will be most welcome to hit back. Yes, some of the posts from members has been dire and, to an extent, it does make the forum look more sh*te than it actually is but, hey, thats the richness and diversity of life. Honez is likely to have kittens at your spelling but Im sure that he will view the content and constuction of what you post as a priority over spelling, which is how it should be really. Who wants to read a grammatically perfect and spelling mistake free post when it doesnt actually say anything? Im thinking about installing an "Analometer" in this Church of the crass, purely to ensure that no Cockspanners, Ruffians or the socially inadequate can get in. That, Im sure, will please the one few....

I dont neccessarily think it was right to stop SC posting, on the contrary, when somebody is digging a hole, take away their spade and give them a shovel. Since when has any member had the right to decide whether another member has the intellect, acumen, wit or character to be allowed to post on here? WTF is next? Ethnic cleansing? Marching gays to the gas chambers? Not everybody is a wordsmith, University educated or sharp, infact this forum wouldnt work if everybody was. Im not pretending that I havent attempted to shoot people down, I have a great dislike for arrogance, pomposity and the delusional. I dont think I have ever attacked anybody on here with the sheer nastiness and venom SC did. All that was missing from that tirade was a knife and something to garrote LB with. There are people using this forum who see themselves as slightly higher up the food chain than the rest, why should anybody disappoint them with the truth? It was no better here two years ago than it is now, it wasnt better in the 1960s and not everybody pulled together during the war. Its all a big f'ucking myth perpetrated by people who have great difficulty living in the present, well tough luck, the past has gone and its the big here and now. If SC doesnt like the way the forum has "dumbed down" why doesnt he f'uck off and create his own? Are we not all a bunch of parasites? We didnt put the work in to create this forum, we didnt have the ideas or nous to get it up and running but, by christ, we come here on a regular basis to feed. To use the dog analogy, if you are feeding off of one and dont particulary like the taste of the blood, go find another dog. Worthless scum? Yes SC, you probably are.

Sanctimonious pricks. Sanctimonious pricks with a superiority complex Sanctimonious pricks on a mission to save those beneath them Sanctimonious pricks who over estimate their own popularity and importance.

No. No one cares about your pussy. Or your vomit, your drunkenness, your ex-husband, your aching shitcunt, whatever. Why don't you f u ck off to a forum where people actually value your "contributions", you f ucking parasite? You're worse than iain for wasting space on threads. Dear Abby, Why are so many crass, talentless human excrement posting so regularly on this site? Is it symptomatic of societal decay in general? Yes, I thought so. Should we burn them all in power stations to light the homes of the righteous? Yes, I thought you'd agree. Edit: I spent much of my working day today trying to drum sense into imbeciles like you; the sort of untermensch who can't really fend for themselves in the real world so hide their shame through over-indulgence in fags, booze, food, pathetic one-line comments on internet forums and general sloth. Why the F U C K should I have to come to (what used to be) a relatively droll and well-populated forum and have to trawl through sh*t posted by the same class of barely-human scum I spent all day wiping from the soles of my shoes? Why should you indeed. What a sanctimonious prick you are.

Ah!!! I see it all now. Its bollocks then.

Firstly, I think you would have been better trying push his stool in. Secondly, you should get him to qualify whether he meant the taboos were sex and death (that is sex leading to death D. Caradine-style), or sex and death (necrophiliac-style), or sex and death (coitus followed by an indeterminate time frame, followed by expiration). Each of these would lead to very different philosophical debates. Also, sex could refer to gender, so again, depending on the level of pomposity, you could debate this at length, especially how the word sex immediately leads to Freudian interpretations, not gender. You could also enter into an equally vacuous, yet completely valid discourse on the definition of death. In some cultures, this is brain death (Mr Sharon is therefore dead), physician-declared (or Belgian PM-declared) death, one-year MIA declared death, etc. Any of the above may deflect the philosophical argument tangentially far enough to absolve you of said turd placement and the ultimate philosophical underpinnings inherent in the act of juxtaposing the supposedly taboo social memes of sex, death, and now, public excreta. Honez Can you translate that into English for me? Which part? I thought it might have been a bit erudite, but straightforward enough nonetheless. I came (or perhaps I didn't come), I shat (or perhaps I didn't sh*t), I croaked (or perhaps I didn't croak). It's all a bit Schrödinger's Cat. Schrodingers cat? I only know the Cat in the Hat..........

Is she still alive?

I had hoped that "famous" would cover the type of people maybe found on Wiki at least! Oh, he is on Wiki !!! Is he cheap? Don't tell me I'll ask! I've been to a couple of his gigs, and crossed paths with the man by way of involvement in Fortean events. Rankin truly rocks, one of his best ever scams goes back over twenty years when he got the local television in to do a news report on sightings of a real griffin in Brentford. All bollocks of course, be he kept a straight face when they interviewed him. I remember that!! Im sure it made the national press too!! I suppose if you are going to scam it ought to be the biggest f'uck off scam there is.

Firstly, I think you would have been better trying push his stool in. Secondly, you should get him to qualify whether he meant the taboos were sex and death (that is sex leading to death D. Caradine-style), or sex and death (necrophiliac-style), or sex and death (coitus followed by an indeterminate time frame, followed by expiration). Each of these would lead to very different philosophical debates. Also, sex could refer to gender, so again, depending on the level of pomposity, you could debate this at length, especially how the word sex immediately leads to Freudian interpretations, not gender. You could also enter into an equally vacuous, yet completely valid discourse on the definition of death. In some cultures, this is brain death (Mr Sharon is therefore dead), physician-declared (or Belgian PM-declared) death, one-year MIA declared death, etc. Any of the above may deflect the philosophical argument tangentially far enough to absolve you of said turd placement and the ultimate philosophical underpinnings inherent in the act of juxtaposing the supposedly taboo social memes of sex, death, and now, public excreta. Honez Can you translate that into English for me?

Was it a "Log" or a "Cow pat?"

It's WRAPS. 1. I'm riffraff & proud of it, although I have no idea if I have good standing or not - who does decide that? You? The Mods? LFN? Seems a bit exclusive & closed club & that's not my idea of fun. Not sure I want to be part of that. So I won't be there. I can't afford to go to London anyway & work Saturdays, so it's all moot anyway. However I hope who does go to this has a good time. Dont drag me into it, Im not organizing it!! I think RA is being a bit tongue in cheek, Im hardly of good standing but ive been to the last two. Blimey, even the piss up twins ( Lardy and Lady Grendel ) went to the last one The last thing it is is a closed or exclusive club!! Occy, I doubt if you would EVER come. I lost count of the amount of people that really, really wanted to attend but didnt. You are not alone and its no big deal. What people become part of is a big piss up, good chat and a bit of a laugh, the only highbrow thing about it would be just above our eyebrows. PS: Riffraff are hardly likely to be pulling people up on spelling mistakes.......

Actually what you should have done is mind your own f'ucking business. You didnt start the thread and you didnt have any massive input into it. Why oh why do forums have people like you on them, people suffering from "moderatoritis", you cant help but patrol the forums righting terrible wrongs can you! At least we can all sleep safe knowing that such an evil crime of wrong thread in wrong section ( it was in the wrong section long before you got here) is tucked up safe and sound in its rightful place. Mr Hein, I know that you are well respected and a nice fella but you should have assessed the situation and told him to bugger off. Then you could have left it a week or two THEN moved it! Now we have a pseudo mod monster running amok.

All depends how far you are from the local exchange. Generally broadband ( and it is a general rule) doesnt work too brilliantly if you are over 5Km from the exchange. Over 7km and you are unlikely to have service and what you might get will be only slightly better than dial up. I should know, I do special fault investigations on them

Well first you find a longish and stout rope. Then you go find a nice big tree...............

Quite agree with you.