Lord Fellatio Nelson

Avast landlubber ahoy! Abandon all hope ye who dare enter this thread and wage war on us Somalis! Is you a racialist? We shall get ye by the keilhalen sonny Jimlad. I find it quite disturbing that one of the most intelligent and articulate of people on this forum could post such utter bollocks.

Sorry LFN, I disagree, it's a fun thread and gives me an excuse to roll out the pirate avatar . There are very few days in the year which give me a chance to change my avatar, but 'pirates day' is one of them. Boudicca had a lovely customised avatar courtesy of Magere Hein, good Halloween one too, but she lost them a couple of months back when her toddler decided pouring his orange juice over Mummy's laptop was a great way of getting her attention Hmmm. Fair enough LG,but are you sure it has nothing to do with the large quantities of alcohol you are able to consume ? (with consummate ease, I might add..) Not that im suggesting that your judgement may be clouded in any way...........

You are all seriously behind the times. The Pirates of today have machine guns, live in mud huts and wear Rolexes and, oh nearly forgot, are of Somali nationality. Its a sh*te thread.

You know I was joking when I wrote this, but as Mr H has moved to London, a mate of his and me have been going through his stuff and have found quite a lot of women's undies amongs his stuff, some it is mine but some of it most definitely isn't, either he really was a secret tranny or he had a chubby girlfriend on the side. I'm not sure which is worse. Worse? Dont you mean better? You are now free to attend the next DL piss up!!! PS: Empty your bloody mail box!! Yours LFN X

I think we are entering a new dawn of Cockspannering.

Piss head!! You posted that twice. Who's the pisshead? No I wasnt!! It was, er...a glitch in the system, yeah, a glitch in the system!!

Happy birthday Sex Six and the Unknown Man, although at the tender age of 20, should it still be boy?

Piss head!!

Piss head!!

Only a woman could get away with saying that...

I've done it before but can't remember how - how do you find out who are the top posters on a topic? Just click on the number of posts, which is shown to the right of the threads title, on the main board.

I do remember one French gameshow, viewed as I was passing through the country many moons ago. I think it was called "Big Dil", which I had assumed was something to do with Female toys. It was infact a pile of sh*te, a studio based "Its a knockout" hosted by a human weasel. I still love France tho.

Got the DTs? Shaking? Sweating? Cant wait till Monday? You sure you aint from Portsmouth?

As the legend Eric Morecambe used to say, "There's no answer to that!"

Happy Birthday Lardy!!!

Fozzie Bear or Gonzo?

Cheery? Cheery!!! Have you not met Windsor yet? 'fraid not - Am i in for a barrell of larfs when i eventually do??? Windsor is an absolute darling - Blowie is just sore because his taxes pay for Windsor to dick about like a student. Thats you all over Lardy, cant post without mentioning a blowie, sore and a dick in the same sentence!

Cheery? Cheery!!! Have you not met Windsor yet? 'fraid not - Am i in for a barrell of larfs when i eventually do??? Yes it is Lardy!!

Cheery? Cheery!!! Have you not met Windsor yet? 'fraid not - Am i in for a barrell of larfs when i eventually do??? Room 101, 203 posts and counting....not that he complains much Closely following on 148 is our Queen of Industrial language, Lardy. Need I say more?

I'll settle for banging the cooker in our house. I'll settle for banging the wife, which would truly be a novelty.....

If their numeracy is on a par with their literacy and general idiocy, then there's definite potential to bamboozle them and swindle a few quid there, LFN. I suggest you bookmark the seller before they disappear on foot, back to the outskirts of Fraserburg sans foultless concours weels. Somehow I doubt it Honez. People like him are usual sharp as razors, they could steal your braces and sell them back to you before your trousers hit the floor. No excuse for a sh*t command of the language tho.

Quantify "rip roaring pissed". Is it similar to: 1. Tipsy 2. Merry 3. Pissed / sloshed 4. Tanked up 5. Drunk as a skunk 6. Legless 7. Wrecked / hammered 8. Out for the count 9. Intoxicated 10. Hog whimperingly arseholed Well done with the fags, keep it up. It's all of the above Can't surely say all the above, because that's a fair list of magnatude? I'm very happy to be tipsy any odd evening on two glasses of wine. Just having one won't get me on the above list. But three glasses, then I'm beyond stage two and on my way to stage 3. Only ever once been "out for the count" and that's my limit. Waking up on a park bench in a graveyard at 4am is beyond a joke so I'm ruling out ever being beyond your "rip roaring pissed" type level ever again. Keep up the good work Lardy on backing off the human body abuse, I'm sure it will thank you in the medium and long term. The list really needs a little bit of adjustment. I would put merry before tipsy and "out for the count" should really be at number 10. Intoxicated looks kind of out of place as it would apply to almost any stage. I would put hog whimperingly arseholed at number 8 and substitute intoxicated at number nine with incontinent. I dont think the list can be considered complete without "Utterly Wankered" on it.

Cheery? Cheery!!! Have you not met Windsor yet?

As Honez moves across the forum thread by thread, becoming more short tempered by the minute as he spots poor spelling and use of the English language ( normally by me, sorry old chum) perhaps he ought to thank his lucky stars that this hallowed cubicle isnt completely infested by utter f'uckwitts........... The following is taken straight from fleabay. just bought of retired man he as owend since car was 18mths old just past mot after being garaged since 94 whith only steering rack boots split car as never been painterd or welderd joe told me he put 5 galons of wax oil in sills alone when he bought in 82 this car drives foultless and could be mint/concours in one/two weeks only rust is on passanger side door bottoms see pics also very rare couler signal red inc service book, owners hand book, accsesory book, aa book 1965, prevous mot ford work shop manuel, ford parts manuel see pics cars been converterd to lucos ignition but stander points inc car could be drivern away anywear just needs tax bargin start price, good luck Can somebody explain to me how somebody so bereft of a brain can function?

Heard this little ditty on the TV the other week, as part of a celebration/labotomisation of the Stiff records label. I probably havent heard it since 1978 ( ish) Weird? Maybe. Pretty damn catchy tho!!