Lord Fellatio Nelson

As Mono said, Im not a great lover of post 1984 stuff, however, I do have a few CDs that are considered "modern". I would strongly recommend The Hold Steady as a good starting point ( Stay positive is a good un). I too get my tracks from alternative sources, which is good as the chances of being sued by a dead artist is marginal....

And how many tall ones? Most likely nine.... Am I the only person to get 'Ulitzer one for the money, two for the show.....' in my head when I see Ulitzer's name? Yes.

I'm afraid bricks aren't molecular (= discrete entities, in the solid state held together by intermolecular forces i.e. everybodies favourite, Van der Waals). Bricks are made of clays/minerals so we'd have to go crystallite. A geographer at uni used to say all maths is addition, mainly to wind somebody up but it never worked seeing as all geography is colouring in. I'm going to take that on board and say all arts boil down to science. Pigments, harmonics, bricks and pigeons. Science as they say in ancient Rome is knowledge and knowledge is power, mwah ha ha (nabbed from honez) Now now. If you had delivered that post in the style of Ellie Crissell, even thick bastards like me would have understood it. Well I must be even thicker than you then, cos I don't know who Ellie Crissell is. She was the bint that used to do Newsround. Her sidekick was that limp dicked turd with glasses, cant remember the name. If you Google her you will know who it is. A vacuous, talentless turd crust who probably got jaw ache giving all those Beeb execs BJs to reach the dizzy heights of the Beebs flagship news programme. Allegedly.

I'm afraid bricks aren't molecular (= discrete entities, in the solid state held together by intermolecular forces i.e. everybodies favourite, Van der Waals). Bricks are made of clays/minerals so we'd have to go crystallite. A geographer at uni used to say all maths is addition, mainly to wind somebody up but it never worked seeing as all geography is colouring in. I'm going to take that on board and say all arts boil down to science. Pigments, harmonics, bricks and pigeons. Science as they say in ancient Rome is knowledge and knowledge is power, mwah ha ha (nabbed from honez) Now now. If you had delivered that post in the style of Ellie Crissell, even thick bastards like me would have understood it.

I've noticed that people from Yorkshire have only about two degrees of separation. It's as though we're attracted (or repelled) by an invisible magnate. I can't count the number of times I have spoken with random people in cafes, bars and plane queues etc only to find that not only do they come from Yorkshire but that we have people and places in common. I sat next to a chap in Dublin who came from the same town as me. It turned out we didn't like each other for exactly the same reasons. An invisible magnate? Mmm......bugger. Thank you Lardy. You're an edufuckingcation and I am a twat. I can't tell you how discomforting it is to have your verbal winklepicker wedged in my rectum. I'm sorry. I'm just a picky bitch. But you sure do have a way with words ....and you Lardy dearest, have a way with Bacon.....normally in doorstep bread with plenty of tommy sauce.

I think you're mistaken. The scum won, didn't they? No, No, No!!! There is only one scum, super scum infact. Lets put it this way, If Ars..Arsen... ( no i cant bring myself to say it ) were up against the Gary Glitter Paedo Allstars, Id be cheering old Gary on. Its that bad

Tonight, I am the proverbial dog with two dicks. The scum lost........badly. I think im gonna buy a ticket for that Euro millions, Im on a roll

The hounding of this man is quite shocking. Now if he was an Arsenal supporter, well that would be different.....

You really are a wind up merchant aren't you. How do you come up with all this bullshit? Patrick Swayze, end of an era? I'm sorry but his death would not be the end of an era for bad acting, Hollywood has plenty more where he came from. As for my childhood dying when he goes there are two contradictory statements in your above post. Childhood dying and memories staying forever. I have memories of my childhood which will stay forever thus by that reasoning my childhood is "alive". If my childhood is "dead" then it has been "dead" ever since I became an adult. I very much doubt childhood would turn round and say to me your 31, Swayze's dead then so am I. If in your world it does then I think your prescription has run out. As for adoring and worshipping Swayze, again you must be joking. Not all females grow up in sheer adorartion of some pelebrity or other. Just because (in general) you put posters on your wall as a teenager does not in any way mean you then kneel at the altar of pelebrity idolatry. Whilst I'm at it I didn't like Tom Cruise either. You are certainly mellowing in your old age, Monkey. Once upon a time you would have told him to f**k off in your reply. You old softy, you.

Im guessing that there is no alternative to watching the Beebs News bulletin? It is a bit wank, isnt it. Im sure you are not referring to the gorgeous and delicious Susanna Reid, she of the BBC Saturday morning breakfast news. MMMM!!!

If he had been a Scotsman, your shitey team probably would have got to the World Cup semi finals at Italia 90. Hey, I bet the Scotland squad, at home, watching it on telly ( as they normally do when a major tournament gets to the nitty gritty ) were wetting themselves. Thats the problem with being a bitter jock. Always the bridesmaid. PS: I assumed that he has spent the last 19 years living off of Newcastle Brown and Vodka.

I suppose being in Scotland you really can justify running round and shouting the legendary Rab C Nesbits immortal line "Swine that you are!"

I take it they have kept you up all night, what with the time of the post. Either that or you shat the bed. Go see your dentist. I went and had root canal treatment yesterday and was attended to be a lovely Eastern European lady who looked like Bella Emberg. I could barely understand a word she was saying but I did find the experience, slightly erotic in a perverted kind of way Another subject. I popped to tescos this morning, parked my car in a space one away from another car and a whole multitude of spaces around me. I get back to find some flange scratcher of a bint has parked right next to my car. Considering she had umpteen hundred spaces to choose from, why? Bitch!! I shall have to change my aftershave.

Its pretty f*****g typical of todays society, panic, panic, panic. Anyway, people will still be walking around coughing and spluttering and not putting their hands to their mouths, the scumbags. If there is one good thing to come out of all of this it will be all those Turd crusts shunning Pork at Tescos. The price will come right down!

I dont necessarily run with the "All Coppers are bastards" thing but I do remember the days when all Coppers were BIG bastards. Political correctness, mamby pamby Chief Constables and junk food has seen a new generation of wee Jimmy Krankie statured Officers who strike fear and authority into nobody. Bring back those big, ugly f***kers, the SPG, beatings in the back of Police vans and cells, planting evidence on known smartarse "you will never get me for it" scumbags and, above all, the days when you shat bricks if you were being "naughty" coz Plod was on every street corner. While im at it, bring back proper sized Wagon Wheels, Ford Cortinas, The Banana Splits and Nitty Nora.

Are we talking about the same newspaper salesman who was minding his own business, had f**k all to do with the protests and, as you do, just happened to be in an area that the police were trying to clear and, as you do, decided that he was not to be rushed/moved on etc, etc, so PC Plod, frustrated at yet another twat wanting to be bloody minded, decided to push the prat along? Strangely, with hands in pockets and a "I dont give a f**k if you are Plod or not, there was utter shock that he hit the deck like a sack of sh*t. Thinking back to the old days, the Police would have, at the very least, escorted him around to an alleyway and kicked the f**k out of him there instead of doing it infront of all and sundry. Coppers aint wot they used to be.

My daughter does, if that helps. DDLM would have been ideal but she has fooked off........

You did. You will now deffo have the best pitch and singers in League One, apart from Norwich City of course. Hey, at least you aint from Portsmouth.

All well and good having a face off if you are built like a brick shithouse, not so clever when you are more Mr Punyverse. Winny, you should have kicked the crap out of them.

...assuming Bill Wyman hasnt got in there first.

Wow, what a novel idea! 120+ people who still have jobs.

He died just up the road from me. Up the road from where I live, I mean, not from where I died. They quite often have memorial concerts and gatherings in Chipp. Perhaps, if he had been travelling in a Tractor (like the rest of you f***kers down there in carrot crunching land do ) and not a Ford Consul, that lamp post would have died instead of him. There is a lot to be said for Tractors. PS: Apparently the Taxi driver of said Ford received a 15 year driving ban. Clearly, he is back at the wheel. Lardy, try booking him and invite some of your most hated to take a ride with him. You never know.... PPS: Any chance of booking him for Fidel?

I may be completely wrong here and I can't speak for all members, but I think you have made so many digs recently about people not turning up when saying they would that people don't want to commit themselves or input ideas for fear of being lambasted for the following few months, you even managed to have a dig at me for not turning up until early evening when I have said on many occasions that I don't like drinking in the afternoons and I did tell you that I wouldn't be there early. I was talking to another member who lives in the south of England and would like to attend a DL Con at some point, but was put off by your post to DdlM last week, you can't take peoples non appearance as a personal insult LFN, these things happen and it was pointed out at the time that the weather was exceedingly atrocious, I got thoroughly soaked just getting there and very nearly turned back at one point. Lets make some things clear. Your arrival to the last " Do" was dependant on the guest you were staying with, infact, it was politely asked that, perhaps your host might like to get to the pub a tad earlier than he wanted to to ensure that everybody could spend as much time as possible together. Considering he was London based, as you were for the evening, it wasnt too much to ask that, if everybody else could only spend the great bulk of the day at the meet and forego the major part of the evening, perhaps a slightly earlier arrival would be nice. It didnt happen. Where was the compromise? My digs were aimed solely at the Im " Deffo coming" brigade, but not because they didnt tho! DWB managed a PM to say that he couldnt make it, I knew handy couldnt, the Graves, infact the only degree of contact to confirm attendance or not were from people that hadnt made any commitments to attend whatsoever. Stop confusing personal insult with common courtesy LG. Im quite shocked that you believe that I take it as a personal insult that people dont attend. FFS this forum is a fraction of my life, I dont live and breathe it, I feel no insult or slight because I dont think too much about it. What I DO care about is common courtesy, nothing more, nothing less. If you feel that such a rare commodity in this world is unimportant or that I shouldnt feel a tad disappointed in its failure to surface when ive spent time and effort to do something like this then, well, we shall have to agree to disagree. Please bear in mind that I was well aware of the bad weather, also be aware that i had been up since 6am that morning to travel down! Anybody who has met me, as you have LG, knows full well that im not the rude arrogant and shoot from the hip character I appear to be on here. Finally, I never had a dig at you, I had a dig at Harry, who does like to have a dig at everybody else anyway. You were the guest, it was down to him to get there earlier, unfortunately, he believes himself to be more important than everybody else. Im quite pissed off now. Organize your own do. Im off. PS: ..and you couldnt have talked to me about your concerns via a PM? You are not the person I thought you were.

I know exactly what Honez is, LFN. And I know exactly what you are. Whether or not you are familiar with the way I work, familiar with my approach to things, that I'm not so sure. But I'm positive that the general image you envision is false. Oh, Im very familiar with the way you work, as is everybody else. General image? Of a twat? All true.