Lord Fellatio Nelson

I confess to being a cynical bastard. The coffers of the Vatican runneth over..........into The Mobs bank account. When I was a boy i was in the Cubs, hated the fact that the Church Hall floor used to put splinters into my arse cheeks so I gave up. My ramble brings me to an experience I had a little while back. I was given a job to go and recover some temporary digital circuits from Ely Cathederal ( Songs of Praise had just been filmed there) and, walking into the main entrance, I realised that there really was a God. Utterly breathtaking. PS: Im now a tad pissed.

Clucking bell!!! OK, can I PLEASE have some feeback here. Im trying to set a date which will cover as many angles as possible and allow a degree of flexibility. Clearly, there seems to be a push for late summer, something I have no problems with. Rather than me stick my neck out, would people like to offer a date which, by consensus, will be agreeable to all? Come on people, give me a hand here!!!

I haven't been on a date with a girl on this site... or outside this site I might add. That's just not my thing. I do have a job, though. And stuff too! OH DDLM, tell me more about your stuff!!

Update. Saturday November the 7th. Does anybody have to rim an Elephant on that date? Venue to be announced, however, we are looking at Central London. Our highly respected member ATJ is on the case and will report back on a possible Boozer. If anybody wants to come, let me know. Last time I sent out umpteen PMs, this time I only want to PM those who express an interest, not those I think will.

Im just waiting for a PM, hopefully I shall have a date for the venue ASAP. ATJ, you may be more of a help than you think if you can suggest a venue that will be reasonably central to the major stations. Where it has been held is sort of ideal but quite expensive. Any ideas?

Yes, saw that one too. Its designed for little kiddies to go and mug their Daddies for the money to run into HMV and get said compilation for "Muvvers day" I did suggest to Lady FN that, perhaps I should be the potential recipient of such a gift as I do just as much as she does. Well, that went down a f*****g treat. She is now downstairs, sitting there, chopping firewood.....

***WARNING SERIOUS POST*** If its the therapy im thinking of then it could actually work. A very similar treatment is offered by a Doctor in Russia for Heroin addicts. There was a mini TV documentary on it a good while back. Apparently, the success rate is astonishing but it is a risky procedure. The whole idea is to get the body temperature down to a certain level which will both cleanse the body and kill off any desire for the drug. Laugh if you must but this story does appear to have some degree of scientific basis.

In Essex they take two tests to see if they're expecting twins. Taxi! No, No, No!! Its not Essex girls, its Portsmouth Girls... Essex girls walk around with mattresses tied to their backs just incase they meet somebody the like.

It wasnt Stan Collymore by any chance? No, because he's sh*t with balls, and judging by my neighbour's screams, the chap next door must have got his right in the back of her net. Gotta be reply of the month.

Thank you Lardy, thats a great comfort to know that the cream of the UKs Rectum crumbs are there in our time of need to know. Its going to be the 11th, this week, I tell thee.

It wasnt Stan Collymore by any chance?

Im concerned. Its all well and good having a sweepstake but how will we actually know that she is dead? Will Max pretend that she is still alive but have her stashed away in a local morgue under a Jane Doe so that he can still bring in the pennies? How will the Doctors know that she really, really is dead? If they did a Brain stem cell test it would only show that her Brain has ceased to function but it never has, has it. Heart? She hasnt got one to test, surely! If she did she wouildnt have put her kids through this f*****g Circus. Breathing? Could that just be deeply shallow like herself? Couldnt the Doctors miss it? No, we need a spy, somebody who will be able to offer conclusive proof of her demise. Until then......

Would it matter if there was? You were given full details of last years meet months in advance because " You really wanted to come".........and you didnt. You were not the only one who did it. I appreciate that circumstances change and situations occour but I managed to make that date clear, with months in between to rearrange or make alternative dates should other things crop up, do a 200+ mile round trip and still be the first one at the bar to greet the arrivals. I wont even go into the efforts made by LB, NAP, LG, Rotten Ali etc to make an even greater effort to, true to their word, attend. You live considerably closer to that Pub than the rest of us and, most importantly of all, it would have been a common courtesy to have PMd me to confirm that you were unable to make it or say "sorry I couldnt attend" either which would have been appreciated in view of the fact that i was the twat who put it all together. Its pretty obvious that nobody else is overly interested in organising one and, in all honesty, why should I? Well done last year LFN for organising, I intended to go but there was no tube service from my station that day. I recall the weather was pretty miserable, which didn't help matters. I'm imagine lots of people felt a bit strange about attending (I did), and some probably got last second cold feet. From what I've heard, those that did go enjoyed it. Attendees will have more to talk about every year. If someone took up the mantle for 2009, if it's on a date I can make I'll be there. CR, I knew full well that there was no certainty to you coming along, that was fine, I understood that. I will have to admit that my post was a tad harsh, even for me, there was no intent to go for the jugular of Ms DDLM. DDLM, I didnt mean to be so sharp with you. Sorry! Look, lets be realistic about all this. I know that, if I arrange a meet up, there will be two members who will be virtual certainties to attend, a couple who could possibly attend and the odd one or 3 who might. All I ask for is a request of interest, nothing more, nothing less. I do not require " definitely", life isnt like that. At this moment in time, I reckon the same time of the month ( November ) would be ideal, its after the Summer Hols and it would, possibly allow two people to attend, who ordinarily wouldnt be able. If there is somebody able to get one sorted for earlier too, thats fine, go for it. The only thing that really needs to be figured out is the venue. Its a good one at the present but you need to be a bloody Sheik to buy a round. I know there is another bar the other side of the road of the main drag which is a lot less expensive and big enough. If anybody has any ideas PM me!!! If anybody out there is interested in anyway of attending the next Piss up meet, PM me, just to give me some idea of who would like to attend, its all I need to know.

Its always clever to try and get you own back when somebody has just made you look a complete prick. The problem is BS, you a constantly made to look a prick and your ridiculous attempts to respond merely look like a punch drunk swinging at thin air because their opponent is too swift and too smart for them. Something you must be well used to, eh BS?

Would it matter if there was? You were given full details of last years meet months in advance because " You really wanted to come".........and you didnt. You were not the only one who did it. I appreciate that circumstances change and situations occour but I managed to make that date clear, with months in between to rearrange or make alternative dates should other things crop up, do a 200+ mile round trip and still be the first one at the bar to greet the arrivals. I wont even go into the efforts made by LB, NAP, LG, Rotten Ali etc to make an even greater effort to, true to their word, attend. You live considerably closer to that Pub than the rest of us and, most importantly of all, it would have been a common courtesy to have PMd me to confirm that you were unable to make it or say "sorry I couldnt attend" either which would have been appreciated in view of the fact that i was the twat who put it all together. Its pretty obvious that nobody else is overly interested in organising one and, in all honesty, why should I?

Saw a very good Beeb documentary tonight about The Andrews Sisters. The sole surviving sister,Patty, celebrated her 90th birthday last month. Cant find any up to date pics of her but, in fairness, she has to go sooner rather than later.

Happy Birthday Pooka, wherever you may be.

Only if you give us your paw.

Respect indeed BS, quite a milestone. How are you going to celebrate such an achievement? Will it be a quick dash to the local Deli for a cucumber and a pot of KY?

It may be an idea, before you scuttle off to sulk, if you tell us exactly how DL is "better than this." I dont quite know where this air of superiority comes from? DL may well have been originally conceived by a bunch of lazy f**k off students pissing their grants up in the local boozer but DL has outgrown them and any notion that its whole concept and design is a bit smarter and intellectually beyond the average Comprehensive School educated thick sh*t. I mean, its only a bit of fun, innit!

I think we need to include TV on this thread. Twas a Saturday morning and school holiday ritual ...for people of a certain maturity.

DL members, what d'ya think? I'd say yes, primarily because even if we said no he can add it in an edit ;-) Yes. But only after he has begged .

Does this mean that that old curmudgeon may be back soon too? Hmmmm. You really are a suspicious bastard, you know that? It's just one of the things I love about you. Me? I just do not know where you got that from!! I just wondered if Sex Six has privvy to the inner sanctum of Mr Crossed, you know, a bit of inside information. I kinda miss the old git.

Now Handy, I detect a less than enthusiastic tone to your post. Cripes, it was only a couple of weeks ago you were begging forecasters to predict snow for the Isle. There is just no pleasing you, is there.

Have a stab? Phantom, does that mean that, if she is still alive by the 3rd, you will fly over and "Do her?" Anything to win, eh!