Lord Fellatio Nelson

Aww come on now. I bet, deep,deep,deep down, you really miss him, dont you.

I sympathise. At this very moment, above the sound of my own television I can hear my next door neighbours Xbox, or whatever it is, he's playing some Star Wars game or something. The first time he played it and bombed something, I genuinely thought my house was falling down. My daughter regularly comes in from her bedroom (which does not even share a wall with the neighbour) and say 'wow mum can you hear the storm' - no love, it's next door's f*****g telly. I have tried to broach the subject politely, but they just laughed it off as he has a hearing problem apparently due to scuba diving. Lovely guy, but quite obviously deaf as a f*****g post. He and his wife also have very loud sex. Many's the night I've had to dig around in my drawers (!) for my ipod to drown out the sounds. Bastards. I'm getting none. Awwww, Lardy, keep the faith! Dont be so polite. Next time, go round and kick the sh*t outta him.

I do second Frankie Boyle, however, the Greatest Ever Scotsman was John Yogi Bear. Not only did he invent the Television, he did it while living in Jellystone Park, hamstrung by a young twat called Boo Boo. What with him be constantly harrassed by a beligerent Park Ranger and some poorly stocked "Pickenik" Baskets, its a wonder how he acheived what he did.

Right, well having booked and paid a deposit on a room, my dirty weekend is now off (at least I was the dumper this time). Anyone want to come to Blackpool for the weekend? No, didn't think so - therefore my choices are a) don't go, and spend the weekend at home drinking wine and eating lard, whilst crying into my pillow. b ) go on my own and look like a sad loser. c) drag an unsuspecting member of the public into my car at knifepoint and make them pretend they are my lucky conquest for the weekend. Cast your votes.....now. Is it too late to put myself forwards? Can I be the unsuspecting member of the public? Will you promise to drag me into you car, drive me at an erratic high speed to Blackpool, throw me onto a bed and do unspeakable things to me? He who dares, he who dares!

I know a few things about her, she was living in the same area as my mum when she was "trying to make it." As I cant afford to be sued, I shall say no more.

I won't ask. [Grammar Police]I believe Pole is a proper noun.[/Grammar Police] Is that specific to Pole as in Telephone Pole or specific to Pole as in Polish, native of Poland. As I didnt specify what kind of "Pole" I was up, could you please clarify for me Honez?

Ah, I know exactly what you are experiencing LG. I live about 5 miles (as the crow flies) from RAF Marham and about 20 miles from Mildenhall and Lakenheath USAF bases (you know when you are near those by seeing all the LHD cars laying in ditches with their owners half dead in Hospitals- God awful drivers) The noise around here some days is bloody ridiculous!! I have to say tho, the most frightening thing occoured about 3 months ago. There was I up a pole in a forest when I heard this horrific noise. I looked up to see a fleet of huge Helicopters no more than 100ft up flying past in formation. The noise was like nothing I had ever heard before, terrifying and awesome. I want to fly Helicopters!

Here in Germany we've never been averse to a spot of Anschluss. How does Germany feel about Portsmouth? .......about the same as Tottenham feels. They are total and utter c***s!!!!!!!!!!

You do things to annoy people? NEVER!!!!!

Bang on the Money, Sir!!! Brilliantly observed.

Three things that are really pissing me off at the moment. 1) Utter, utter w**nkers that are in a lane coming to a Roundabout, which is clearly arrowed turn left or straight ahead, and decide to use the centrifugal force of nature to hug the outer fringe of the roundabout and take the third, fouth or any other exit beyond, cutting you up. w**nkers! 2)Those Manchester University students who are taking Diversity to a level even lower than Ronnie Corbetts arse. They have decided to rename the toilets as "Urinals" and "non Urinals" as Ladies and gents no longer cover every base, what with not everbody nowdays being an Arthur or a Martha. Naturally any pervert only need exclaim that they are undergoing gender therapy, or whatever its called, to be allowed straight into a Toilet of their choice to oggle Genitalia. These "Students" are the future movers, shakers and Politicians of the Labour party or summat ( nicked that from you, Mary) well we are all f*****g doomed. 3) People that are nasty to people that dont deserve it. There are lovely people out there hurting, its not fair!

Without wishing to be overly disrespectful to AC/DC, I gave my opinion based on the fact that I bought "That" Album when it came out. I also went out and bought the next inferior one too. Neither, for me, can hold a candle to Machine Head.

Yep, thats AC/DC, a group whos hype was always bigger than its talent, IMHO. I always viewed tham as a sort of Kiss for grown ups.

I havent forgotten you Pip, I will be PMing you in due course.

I quite like Theroux, not exactly Alan Wicker but there have been moments when he has pulled his guests, or should that be hosts, to pieces without them actually realising it. I think old peg leg is gonna regret it.

That's C L O C K xzandra.

It's just a big, empty tube. Part of a psychological experiment. The bit about particles colliding and the Big Bang and the rest is all made up, just to see how gullible the world would be. I think we were $6.5 billion dollars gullible.

You know, in my times of stress, the thought that its all going down the pan, and I think it is, its so comforting to pop on here and read the kind of post that puts everything into perspective. Thanks Lardy I Love you. Regards LFN

Sir, It is indeed still on. A few of us are certain to attend with more who wish to. Im hopeful that this years will be a healthy turnout. Josco, if you are interested drop me a PM. Incidentally, Ive been in contact with around 12 members, excluding those who went last year and either got pissed, thought the Lav was their personal office or ate the contents of the Pub menu or all of the three, all are hoping to attend. If there is anybody who I havent PM'd and is interested, let me know. Time is flying by and its not long to go now. Regards LFN.

What? You would like Gazza to be included on the 2009 DL? Consider this. Every male on this years list is that old ( bar Russell Watson ), their nuts have dropped low enough for them to tuck em into their socks. Going by past queries as to why no younger picks have been added to lists, I doubt very much that Gazza will be considered, unless of course his health deteriorates to the very edge of life and death like Russell Watson.

Thats three whinges in one post. Windsor, sweetie, had you posted them individually you would have hit 130, yes, 130 posts on this topic. Dont let anybody tell you that you are a miserable old bugger.....you miserable old bugger. Yours In awe LFN

Thats better.

Rick, for writing "the Great Gig in the Sky", which I personally consider The Floyd's best song... I salute you! Id like to thank him for all those times I got seriously stoned.........

Lardy, Im glad to see that the prospect of getting your leg over in October hasnt made you take your eye off the ball to such pressing issues. That reminds me, I must send you directions to the B+B I've booked - don't forget your toothbrush! ;-) At this moment in time, you have no idea just how tempting that is..... Fancy getting hugely pissed as well? I feel that I must point out that B+B in this case, does actually refer to Bondage and Buggery - and don't forget your bogbrush. Hmmm, best forget it then. I really cant do Bogbrushes. Where's your sense of adventure? Aww, ok then, Im game.