Lord Fellatio Nelson

Happy birthday Lardy!

I really have to agree with you.

Lardy, Im glad to see that the prospect of getting your leg over in October hasnt made you take your eye off the ball to such pressing issues. That reminds me, I must send you directions to the B+B I've booked - don't forget your toothbrush! ;-) At this moment in time, you have no idea just how tempting that is..... Fancy getting hugely pissed as well? I feel that I must point out that B+B in this case, does actually refer to Bondage and Buggery - and don't forget your bogbrush. Hmmm, best forget it then. I really cant do Bogbrushes.

Erm, well I do ironing, washing, cooking and cleaning, I even have my very own Sewing Machine ( its mine and nobody elses ) If ever there is a button to be sewed its me that does it. Lady FN needs her eyebrows plucking and shaping with the tweezers? yep, thats me wot does it. Very domesticated, me. That has now completely f**ked my alpha male credibility ( if ever I had any) PS: Do I get any thanks for all those skills? What do you think! Yours LFN 6FT 1 42 Inch chest Size 10 kippers ..and anybody that calls me a puff will get their head kicked in

Gazza was staying about 15mins up the road from where I was staying in Portugal. I can therefore quite understand why he wished to end it all. Im sure had he been accompanied by Lady FN, he would have been successful in his attempt, well he would have tried a f*****g damn sight harder!

Lardy, Im glad to see that the prospect of getting your leg over in October hasnt made you take your eye off the ball to such pressing issues. That reminds me, I must send you directions to the B+B I've booked - don't forget your toothbrush! ;-) At this moment in time, you have no idea just how tempting that is..... Fancy getting hugely pissed as well?

Sometimes there are occasions where we must all make allowances, you know, like when you purchase a cute lil puppy, all fluffy wuffy. You come downstairs one morning to find that it has shat everywhere and eaten the sofa, yet , in spite of all that you still love it. Well, I think I have just had that "fluffy, wuffy, puppy moment. God help me.

Would we not have been slightly more impressed if they had called it the "Hardon Collider"?

Actually I would be interested if, for one moment, I believed that all those scientists could actually provide the answers. What we, infact, have is a bunch of smug white coats that have no chance whatsoever of working it all out. To think that all those little Brains could even begin to grasp the Universe and its workings is quite laughable.

Ah, that's much better xzandra, bless your little cotton socks. Not perfect, but better than some other DL inmates. After an exhaustive search of the Internet, I managed to find this reference through Google on my first attempt. Micro Black Holes. The postulate being (remember e=mc2?) that the mass created by the collision is almost immediately re-converted back into energy in the form of Hawking Radiation. FYI Google is a search engine, which can be used to search pages on the 'net for answers to questions you might have. Deathlist is not a search engine. It is, however, the best source of information concerning Dickie O, Clive Dunn and, obviously, custard-related Quantum Physics. This is fast becoming the DL's very own Pygmalion. "Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon". --honez, Act I. "I don't want to talk grammar, I want to talk like a lady". --xzandra, Act II. There is no inference that Eliza Doolittle is thick, on the contrary she is feisty and, probably, of above average intelligence. What we have here is not our version of Eliza Doolittle but Jade Goody. Just to clarify xzandra, I live in East Angular, which is just outside of Budapest. Just a thought, could our young newbie actually be a longstanding member who is having a joke at our expense? Could happen, eh TAFKAG.

FYI Google is a search engine, which can be used to search pages on the 'net for answers to questions you might have. Deathlist is not a search engine. It is, however, the best source of information concerning Dickie O, Clive Dunn and, obviously, custard-related Quantum Physics. ......and Scalextric.

Lardy, Im glad to see that the prospect of getting your leg over in October hasnt made you take your eye off the ball to such pressing issues.

Ah Scalextric!! You buy the kit, get it home then spend three hours sodding about moving the furniture trying to get the bloody thing to fit into a room, any room. After fruitless hours of trying to keep the cars on the track and not launched, missile like, into someones shin, you pack it all up and stick it in the loft for, oh, about 25 years. I should have been into Choo Choo trains.

Well according to some Scientists Time Travel is feasable but so is getting a Mouse to roger an Elephant. Mary, I have read the latest FT, decent enough article but you would have read it all before. Time Travel would be brilliant, Id go back to the night of January 6th 1983 and lie in wait for the bastard that stole my Dads car. I would relish the opportunity to kick his f*****g head in. We can all dream.

Was it the same chap that was going round putting little flags on dog turds? Maybe it was Damian Hirst.

When I read posts like this, I do ponder where the f**k our future generations of Scientist will come from. My daughter I love dearly, she is doing well and will continue her further education BUT what does she actually know about the World around her? Bog all. She is far from unique, many of her generation no longer read, watch documentaries or take any interest whatsoever in anything that isnt MTV or Kerrang. Lady FN is far more qualified than me but takes very little interest in the World around her. Politics may as well be bolloctics, the Big Bang, she believes, was last witnessed on our wedding night and, generally, I often feel that I am talking to a vacant wall while desperately trying to ellicit a response let alone a discussion. xzandra, you seem quite young, I fear that the stampede by "Educationalists" within our society has bred A* collectors who understand curriculums but know fook all about the world around them. You are far from the lone "wassit all about" brigade, you are, sadly in the majority. I would venture that ignorance and a lack of interest about what is happening in the World is a far greater crime than an inability to spell. Personally, it can all go to sh*t, Im not prepared to waste time worrying about the consequences, life really is too short for that. Imagine, it all goes wrong, hundreds of scientists not as clever as they thought they were........

Just arrived back from Portugal ( Albufiera ). I am afraid to say, it was w*nk. Never again.

You do realise that this money was yours in the first place before they incorrectly overcharged you? In order to work out that they'd charged you too much, it cost them time and money (yours) and it has cost them more to actually give it back to you. So the money that you earned they took away, they charged you to do it, then they charge you more to pay it back at a much later date. And I doubt very much that you would get any interest that would have accredited on this money in the mean time. If a private individual or, say, a bank did this to you, then there would likely be criminal proceedings involved. You are quite correct when you say the Inland Revenue lot are much maligned and misunderstood; some people don't think of them as thieving criminals. Yep, Honez, I did say that with my tongue firmly lodged in my cheek. I just thought it was so utterly nice, efficient and honest of them to return to me what was mine all along. I was glad to have been of service in allowing them to rip me off and, no doubt, countless others, giving them the opportunity to earn a nice healthy interest on the stack of money before handing it back to its rightful owners. It feels so good to be helping the Country out in its time of need.

Take a cattle prod with you, threaten to zap em in the wotsits if they dont move their arses. Go on LG, do it, you will be doing what we have all wanted to do, at one time or another, to a branch employee On another note, It is generally accepted that the Inland Revenue would have a seat in the most prominent position in Room 101. In view of this, I am sorry to tell you that, at this moment in time, they are wonderful. I was recently informed by the money grabbing scum bags that they had relieved me of too much tax, however, no sooner had I received that nugget through my letter box, I then received a nice fat juicy cheque. What service! That Inland Revenue lot are much maligned and misunderstood....

Thank you BS for sharing that with us. It operates on many levels and has certainly evoked a visceral reaction within me. I wonder, given that you dedicated a small rhyme to Godot, whether there is any chance of a poem dedicated to me at some time. Or do you not do requests? Ignore your detractors and keep writing my son - we are glimpsing your very soul! Is this soul, by any chance, prefixed with the letter R?

I think, given a choice, Eduardo would have much prefered to have been in a scrum than have his foot hanging off last season. Some of Footballs injuries have been pretty horrific, at least the equal, if not worse than injuries to Rugby players. Before anybody tells me that Rugby players are in great danger of broken necks, let alone neck injuries, i would draw your attention to the ex Man City legend, keeper Bert Trautmann. Having played both sports, I can honestly say that while Rugby is far more physical, I had more injuries and aggro kicking a bag of air around a pitch than carrying one, then again I could run like the wind and no bugger could catch me. Dont be too bitter Monkey, your team has spent sod all, ambition is sod all, hope is sod all and, very likely, achievement will be sod all. The only way is up then!

....or, as an alternative... Nice girls not one with a defect, Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct. Red dogs under illegal legs. She looks so good that he gets down and begs. She is watching the detectives. "ooh, he's so cute!" She is watching the detectives when they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. They beat him up until the teardrops start, but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart. Long shot of that jumping sign, Visible shivers running down my spine. Cut to the baby taking off her clothes. Close-up of the sign that says,"We never close" You snatch a tune and match a cigarette, She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet. I don't know how much more of this I can take. She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake. chorus You think you're alone until you realize you're in it. Now fear is here to stay. Love is here for a visit. They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit. Someone's scratching at the window. I wonder who is it? The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance. Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay, It only took my little fingers to blow you away. Just like watching the detectives. Don't get cute!" It's just like watching the detectives. I get so angry when the teardrops start, But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart. Watching the detectives. It's just like watching the detectives. One of the best ones.

Great, not only am I poorly educated, now I have a small penis. To get things back on topic shouldn't it be Russian hamsters. could well be playing tribute to Mr. Solzhenitsyn through the medium of dance, (I know I would), whilst removing a Russian hamster from his bum bag. Perhaps this should be in the Gere thread. Poorly educated? Never! I cannot possibly comment as to how you are hung Should it be in the Gere thread? No, perhaps it should be put in a Rocket and sent into the depths of Space.

This is probably the bestest forum in the world.