Lord Fellatio Nelson

Right, we have a plan. The venue will be in Central London and the date will be Saturday November the 1st 2008. Two things: Ive given a huge wodge of notice and people would have been paid by then. Thats two excuses not to attend out of the window Thank you LG and HarryMac, lots of support and sensible advice! People,if you can attend PM me. So far Ive had a very good and positive response, hopefully we shall have even more attending this year than last. Right, in a nutshell, the date and venue is set ( the venue to be given via PM )and all you have to do is be there. Regards LFN

Ladies and Gents. If there is anybody out there who is interested in coming down to Londinium one Saturday in October for the DL2 Pub Fest please could you PM me to let me know. I need to have some idea of how many want to come along. It is basically going to be a repeat of last years jolly, which was rather successful. It will be held at the same venue as before in Central London, easy to find, good for Tube and all main Rail station links etc,etc. Im quite aware and respect those who wish to keep their anonymity and mystery, however, have a think about it, eh? If you can tell me what Saturday you CANNOT make as opposed to what you can, we shall take it from there. Regards LFN

Why, is Germany becoming that stressful to live in?

Yes Mary, last time there were some who were unable to make it due to pre arranged appointments to de flea their cats and pull their fingernails out with pliers ( a bit like watching Carlisle, infact). No doubt, this time round, there will be people who will be unable to make it due to the above activities falling on the same day, whatever that day is. Such is life.

Would I need to bring my own ****** or are they provided? If you mean ******, then yes, they are provided. If, however, you mean ******, then no, **** off and get your own.

I reckon this October/November, if Im allowed out. Same place as last one ( seemed a good place, if not where? )the timing allows plenty of notice to arrange travel,I came down from Norfolk, RA from Nottingham, NAP from Germany, STTG and DTTG from France, if we can, so can you!! I shall even do the arranging too. Anyway, all in good time, when I can get more than a fleeting 5 mins on here ( Lady FN and Daughter permitting )

If this is the boat taking the lunatics to the asylum then I can see why you are first to go on board and Godot is sitting, on a bench, waving you off. My oh my, for someone so full of sh*t, you have really taken the biscuit BS. Double the therapy sessions, they aint f*****g working at the mo, are they.

Many happy returns NAP, have one ( or several, you do have hollow legs) for me.

Oh you poor women!! And what exactly do you think its like for us tallies? Im 6ft 1 and Lady FN is, about 5ft3. I have to stoop for a kiss, cant own a little car because I tend to find my knees up to my f*****g chin if I try to drive it, I have to lift things that much further upwards, my back is knackered and if Im having a bit of rumpy, pumpy ( not too often now, admittedly) and Im on top Lady FN tends to get a hairy chest to look at, while I get the joys of looking at a headboard or, if Im lucky, the top of her head.....Hmmmm, its not all that bad then All you short arses dont know your born!! PS: Lardy, it would appear your taste in men, irrespective of height, is shite. PPS: Handy, I assume the IOM is festooned with lots of tall gay men?

A good idea H. I do think, however, that he will probably see us all out. Good old Ranulph Fiennes is probably the daddy of all "Daredevil adventurers". Im not sure loosing half your fingers and the like for the sake of adventure is worth it, I suppose these kinds of people hover between genius or stupidity, take your pick. Tell me, what exactly is "Free soloing?" Its not something that my mum told me would make me go blind if I did it, is it?

And WTF has a bar of chocolate got to do with it?

So that is a pic of your boobs? I thought it was a pic of the Alps. Tell me, how long is it since you last saw your feet?

Strike a light, the first sniff of a woman and BS is in like a Rat up a Trouser leg. Anyway, welcome Hellkat, Im too thick to understand what you are on about. Regards LFN

Feel my pain. The once-mighty Wrexham will be fronting up against the likes of Histon, Forest Green, Grays Athletic, Ebbsfleet United, Crawley Town and Farsley Celtic next season. The only pain worse than seeing them go down will be losing to these teams (which they will if they play like they did this season.) Gulp. Yes, quite a bummer for you. I have to say that, hand on heart, the only team that would give me the most exquisite orgasm if they go down would be the Gooners. Sad to say, it aint going to happen. I am, however, hoping against hope that they will be undone in a far worse way, financial meltdown. Ever the optimist, me! PS: I know we have some wizened hacks here, any chance of popping over to your Footie colleagues and getting the lowdown on who Spurs are actually going to sign? Is Berbatov really going? Have i got ANYTHING to look forward to? Will I be going to see them next season expecting more mediocrity? Come now, do tell, please!!

Well your lot didn't help on Saturday by playing a decent goalkeeper & a decent team. You were supposed to ignore our lack of defending, poor passing & woeful shooting and STILL give us a point (or three) like you did to everyone else in the relegation zone. Damn you Radek Cerny & Robbie Keane, damn you. Occy, had Steve Coppell not gone with that special 5-0-5 formation, you may well have extracted a point, maybe a whole three from us. Whos ever heard of a five man defence, no man midfield and 5 man attack? It was a disaster waiting to happen, old chap.

There had been some mutterings that your absence from this Forum lay in the possibility that you had gone to live with your Therapist, for that 24/7 care you so desperately need. We were wrong. Damn you man!

Cheeky buggers, the French. They should all be forced to spend VE Day (a.k.a. Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Day) learning how to fight properly. That is extremely rude, yet it carries with it a fair degree of truth. Well done Sir!

Not at all Monkey, my sweet. I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain. There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down. Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!! I don't get the joke I'm afraid. I didnt think you would, not an intelligent, witty, educated girl such as yourself, unless, of course, you can do a pretty passable impression of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins? Er, thought not! The basic problem here is that there are so many clubs to choose from, many with better support bases, history and the like, the Saints would tend to get passed over when any takeover is mooted. Cant win em, all!

Not at all Monkey, my sweet. I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain. There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down. Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!!

I take it the price of scrap metal Stateside isnt as ball squeezingly expensive as over here. I would, respectfully, suggest that you keep this new source of scrap firmly out of the public eye. It is quite conceivable that, at this very moment, a fleet of Ford Transits have started off from the Gypsy sites and laybys of our fair land for an epic journey, by land and sea, to collect all said scrap. Perhaps, as a consequence, these theiving Pikey b*******s will no longer have to cut away copper phoneline routes, cars that are NOT free to take away and anything else that isnt hidden away, bolted down and chained up, all to remove temptation from these much maligned, misunderstood and much loved members of society. Remember, hug a Gypo. ( coz while you are, the b*****d isnt able to go out on the Rob)

Well I will break ranks here, I have to be the only person on this forum who is like a dog with two d***s having witnessed the collapse of one of the most decrepid, corrupt, grubby Political parties for, well at least, 10 years. I am sick to my guts of slogging my arse off to hand over, on a monthly basis, a huge wodge of my hard earned so that those tossers could take on another NHS Penpusher or ensure that a chief executive of a local authority doesnt feel too much hardship on £250.000 a year. Ive been robbed blind, good and proper. Car tax, Green tax, stealth tax, you name it, im paying it. Ive now got Chocolate Police officers ( or should that be community support officers) on £16 grand moving on the ever growing number of vagrants in my town. Not bad for the dosh ( my f*****g Dosh, eh!! ) A work collegue has recently been threatened by a Council snoop that he was recycling into his bin "The wrong type of plastic" and the country, despite having been told what a clever and prudent Chancellor we had, is in f*****g meltdown. We now have the scenario of a semi albino lothario Etonian taking the reins in London and being slagged off for it. Red Ken was a newt loving, shag it if it moves, car hating, English hating twunt. B******s!

As tasty as this sounds, unfortunately I was unable to follow the recipe, as my stove struggled to get my oil to the requisite 375 degrees C. This does seem to be a little on the warm side, seeing as it's past the melting point of zinc, close to the melting point of aluminium and I'd be unable to test whether I've reached it or not, due to the mercury in my thermometer having just boiled. Oh, hang on, those were in imperial US measurements... Now, if I could just find an online converter to tell me how long a US minute is. [geekalert] honez, honez, honez, I'm sorry to have to be a... now let me see what is the word I search, ah yes pedant, however the melting point of zinc is in fact a shade under 420 °C. Whilst erring on the side of pedantism, I feel it is my duty to clarify that the melting point of aluminium is ca. 660 °C. Of course this all depends on how we define close, if we are talking in relation to the melting point of tungsten then yes the mp of Al is close to that of the recipe! So as long as we are not dealing with Kelvins (in which case 375 K being a little over the boiling point of water would pose little problems to your domestic apparatus), you could cook your squid in a stainless steel pan (NON Teflon coated - melting point issues ). As for the oil, here there might be a problem. I'm not an organic chemist and thus the concept of watching a reaction reflux for 5 hours has long since passed me by, but 375 °C is probably too hot for mineral or paraffin oil (both suitable for human use I believe, see chronic constipation), you could always invest in a heating mantle and you'll be needing some thermocouples, for instance, to verify you've acquired the correct temperature before you sauté your squid. Bon appétit (and no, I don't know the melting points of elements by heart, I just knew there had been a bit of artistic underestimation!) Another little zinc fact for all you factoids out there, there is a high concentration of zinc in semen: perhaps there is a link between zinc deficiency and blindness the catholics have failed to pounce upon? Monkey, do you read VIZ, by any chance? There is a touch of the Mr Logic about that post. By God you are smooth!

As tasty as this sounds, unfortunately I was unable to follow the recipe, as my stove struggled to get my oil to the requisite 375 degrees C. This does seem to be a little on the warm side, seeing as it's past the melting point of zinc, close to the melting point of aluminium and I'd be unable to test whether I've reached it or not, due to the mercury in my thermometer having just boiled. Oh, hang on, those were in imperial US measurements... Now, if I could just find an online converter to tell me how long a US minute is. That would depend on what state you're having your minute in .... f'rinstance a New York Minute is quicker, say, than a Pennsylvania minute and so forth. Of course there has been a great deal of debate about exactly how long that is. The late Johnny Carson described it as the interval between when the traffic light turns green and the guy behind you starts honking his horn. Now thats a conundrum, do we have different ideas as to how long a minute is? For example I have deduced that a minute in the LFN household is as long as it takes for me to climb onboard and hear Lady FN say "Is that it?" Just what is your typical minute pop pickers?

LG, the twats were bulk buying their fuel down here today too. I did allude to the girl behind the counter that they were all a bunch of w*****s but i felt too ill to push the point. By the way i wasnt panic buying myself, I always fill up on Saturdays! Regards An ill LFN PS: Im going to throttle Lady FN for giving me the lurgy.

Admit it BS, we are in love, arent we?