Lord Fellatio Nelson

In hindsight that could be the case, but I remember vividly being too scared to sleep in my own room after watching an episode when I was about 8, the trapdoor to the attic was in my bedroom and I was terrified some slimy monster was hiding up there, took my parents days to convince me to sleep back in there, then again watching 'The Shining' had the same effect on me and I was 22 at the time! Funnily enough, LG, I too had a attic hatch in my bedroom, at about the same age. I used to hear birds and monsters in there every night. Im amazed that after all that torment I didnt end up mentally unstable like BS. In all fairness B7 was no worse than anything else at the time and considerably beter than some. Perhaps we tend to confuse the nostalgia with the quality?

Well done LFN! Please stop adding fuel to the fire, our poor demented colleague will be loving all this attention. Edit: Here's the PM I got twenty minutes later. Make sense to anyone? Fire never burning out, Today, 09:24 PM Gunjy In life everybody has a different perspective and everybody has a different genius so - to speak. Everybody has different standards and everybody has been affected differently by concepts of the world and our nature. The bottom line is I I post stupidity and I post like a schmuck, when people deserve to be treated that way. That is what it comes down too, I just can't sit back and let people antagonize me who are just plain wrong to begin with. I've sent out several PM's today to members who I feel need to hear it. Attention is not the issue, it's the bullshit people dictate. Take that scum bag 'Fellatio Nelson' for example I hope you get the picture. It's just a forum that I spend my spare time in, but when I'm here I'll lay down the law. Enjoy ' -BS A "Scum Bag" am I? Brilliant!!

He is the most reviled, the most ignored, the most disliked and the most mocked humanoid within the Northern Hemisphere YET he keeps coming back for more. I knew this would happen. It's like the scene in A Clockwork Orange when Alex and the rest of the droogs put the boot in to the defenceless old tramp. You know how it goes: "Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!" etc. You have said it yourselves, it is no good trying to run him out of town. Perhaps he can reform. I have given young Banshees' some handy tips from the Book of Godot that has a section on the treatment of women and minorities. As a man of the cloth (I come from a textile town) I no longer have any stomach for the "lashings of the old ultraviolence" in this and other threads. If the boy can discover some sense of proportion in his posting I think that there can be hope yet of redemption. If the silly guest posts are abandoned I, for one, am prepared to cut him some slack. In the meantime there is that handy ignore button. All logical and fair comments. I do feel, however, that all of the above would, no doubt, have some bearing if he was 12 years old ( he has made it clear that he is very much an "Adult" ) but BS isnt. Trying to reform BS is a bit like asking a member of the British National Party to put up a few Somalian asylum seekers for a bit. PS: Godot, old chap, you are not the only one who has tried to steer him in the right direction regarding women and minorities. It hasnt worked, has it.

Blake's 7 was nothing more than Crossroads in Outer Space. Wobbly sets and more ham than Porky Pig. The kind of programme to reminisce about and ask "Were programmes really this crap in the 70s?" Give me Glynis Barber anyday.

And that, LB, is the whole point of BS. As soon as he knew you were female, he was in like a shot. God help any new member who hints that they may have a vagina.

Leave the floor to me Harry? I think you have done a pretty damn good job of summing up the general consensus that Mr BS is an unwanted knobhead. I feel that, so long as this forum exists, so will he. I do feel most sorry for the female members here, who seem to attract his attention the way a cows arse attracts a fly. He is the most reviled, the most ignored, the most disliked and the most mocked humanoid within the Northern Hemisphere YET he keeps coming back for more. You have to secretly admire the fact that with a brain the size of a small boil, he manages to function at all. Ive given up, I dont even get anything out of taking the piss anymore, its like firing sponge balls at a Tank, pointless and not worth the effort. Ignore him, thats what im doing.

A superb bit of hopping there!

I got the same Handy. Perhaps, if i hadnt spent my Science lessons looking at the back of my teachers head wondering why she was wearing a toupe, I would have learnt more.

So YOU are to blame for whetting our appetites only to find that we end up watching nothing more than Monkey turd. Ive got to say Harry, as clever a man as you undoubtedly are, just how did you approach the vexed question " What can I write that will make the Programme "My Big Breasts" remotely interesting to our male viewers?" Edit: Totally agree with you about Beeb 4

Riff Raff on the Rocky Horror quiz. Cruella on the Disney one. I dont like these type of Quizzes

As long as we book Anthea Turner in for a 366 night stay commencing 01 Jan 2008 sounds good to me. Monoclinic, here's something that'll put a smile on your face. And DDT's and Lard Bazaar's and the Yeti's and... Next time Mono, ride the Bike AT her!!

The question is Harry, did you think it was an accurate (ish) biopic? I assume that, as it hadnt had the "Hollywood" treatment it was fairly true to the facts. I have clearly missed out somewhere along the line, possibly because, perhaps, I was never a student bumming around Uni. Joy Division never got onto my Radar and some of the "easy listening" on that other music thread, Ive never heard of. Or, maybe, I just like listening to shite.

It goes on a bit. Apart from knowing her name and seeing a picture of her with her head shaved I don't know anything she's done, couldn't hum a single one of her songs, wouldn't recognise her in the street. I'm quite pleased about that. That would make you a bit sh*t in a Pub Quiz.

You can bet that the world didn't make quite so much sense for the chicken/lamb/cow/pig in that roasting tin, as it left this mortal coil with the sweet smell of blood, death and fear invading its nostrils, listening to the theme tune from "My Family And Friends Are Being Needlessly Slaughtered On An Industrial Scale". Norfolk; not renowned for displaying mercy toward roastable animals. Overcast and drizzling here in Northumberland. Must be time for . It was a lovely bit of Beef SC. I find Im getting a bit old and slow on my feet to get the Spear out and go hunting for fresh meat, as my ancestors used to. Thank heavens for Tescos!!

Well here I am in rural (ish) Norfolk, a crisp and beautiful day. The Pond glimmers, the fish quiet, the sweet smell of Autumn invading the nostrils. The roast is on and Im listening to the theme tune from the film "A Big Country" The world suddenly feels right and makes perfect sense.

That looks suspiciously like the Union Flag painted on an Orangutan. Looks like Jimmy Osmond to me. i thought it was a commemorative plate. At last something from the Franklin Mint that looks real. WATCH IT! HE'S BI-POLAR! I must confess Madame, Ive never heard of a Bisexual Polar Bear before.

Funnily enough, I was having a good old chinwag with Gordon, this morning. Apart from admitting that he had suddenly gone cold on the idea of a snap election, he did pose the question " Is that pillock Dave's posting career on DL dead yet?" He was to be so disappointed.

Swear filters. I'm not much of a swearer. I wish we could have them in real life. I've got no idea what Lord Nelson typed, but it looks like it was probably rude. Spliff? ?? Stiff. Well, Pooka, dear fellow, I have been known to become quite stiff on "special" occassions.

I don't understand why you though that would have created a paradox. You saying you love this hate thread and you hate the love thread isn't a paradox at all. Now, if you'd have gone and put both threads in each, or the same thread in both, then the universe probability matrix would have blown a gasket or something. But, thank-The-Gods-of-all-things-Pasta, nought came of your evil plan. I have since fixed up the universe probability matrix to account for this occurrence and it won't be a problem. It's amazing what you can do as a Mod. Which kind of makes me wonder what the Admins can do... That is far too deep, even for this forum. Ok, I will revise that, its too deep for me, wot wiv me bein a Sun reedaa an all that.

Interesting that the Guardian didn't include the tune to 'To the Manor Born' - it would have confused people, as it is essentially the same tune as Yes Minister.... I have to say 'Some Mothers..' is one of his lesser efforts. But the whole title sequence/music of that programme is a bit of a miss...Compare that to the contemporaneous Doctor Who theme/title from 1973...and they really are from different universes presentation-wise... .......and they are also from different universes content wise. The "Some mothers" theme was probably spot on for the programme.

She will be 27 in 2008... Aye, fair enough but for those deadpools that reward you more for younger picks there's always our old staple, K*rsty H*ward. And where people get banded in age so there's less advantage to picking the very young there's still Gazza, well short of 50, well on the way to self-destruction with a record of recklessness that started before Britney was a high profile pop babe. True, but Britney dying would be massive news around the world and probably one of the top stories of the year. Gazza dying would be news in England for a week, in Europe for a day, elsewhere it would barely make the papers at all. How excited would the entire DL community be if 1) Britney died and 2) we'd picked her on a specially designed fun list? I'm with you CR. I mean if she thinks she is a rock star (can't remember from whose link that was mentioned) then it's only fitting she does us all a favour and joins the Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison et al died at 27 club. Correct me if Im wrong but I think Jim Morrisson was 29 when he died. Im pretty sure he was born in 1942. Asides me being pedantic, there does seem to be an awful lot of Musicians who die before they reach 30. Gram Parsons was another. UPDATE: Its grovel time, the Monkey was, as usual, correct. Jim Morrison was 27 and Im a pratt. Sorry for doubting you MC, I should have known better!! PS: You are onto something with the 27 club. Keep up the good work.

Old poster? Surely not my Wendy James of Transvision Vamp, life-sized poster? Is that you? Where you have you been all these years? Did those guys who stole you from our flat during that party treat you well? I think you ought to thank those guys for taking that filthy, dirty, sexy thing out of harms way. At least you were spared any long term damage to your wrist. Here she is SC, just for old times sake ( she is 41 now!!!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N8bGHtUGJU

Swear filters. I'm not much of a swearer. I wish we could have them in real life. I've got no idea what Lord Nelson typed, but it looks like it was probably rude. Spliff? Monkey, you are not as green as you are cabbage looking are you.

Well, Ive googled LFN and, no suprise really, Im not the first smartarse to have taken the moniker. There is a Fellatio Nelson on the XTC forum ( didnt know they were THAT popular) apart from that, not much.

Jesus Harry, I remember that spoof! Sad twat that I am, I actually got all those theme tunes right Joking aside, he was a clever bugger really, so many of his dittys forever etched into our brains.