Lord Fellatio Nelson

Nope! I've had beers and fancy more, but I have company who will just take the piss if i'm drunk and falling about...What should I do?? I very much hope that you found someway of amusing yourself inspite of the company present. I used to, in similar situations, make my excuses to said company and go out into the street where I would entertain all and sundry with my impression of the White eared Pink nosed Elephant. Oh how the local Constabulary used to laugh about my jolly jape as they were kicking seven bags of sh*t out of me in the holding cells. Those were the days!!

Football is shite?!? You a Rugger follower or do you just sit at home and darn ur friggin socks..............

Just found out that dear old Val Doonican is 80 years young. Does anybody know if he looks like he is on his last legs?

You are joking, 80 years old?!? Bloody hell, time really does fly.

Must be all that interbreeding............

Yep, me too. Has he told everyone to take a hike at one time or another? Hmmmm......... it would seem that my witty banter, charm and charisma has done anything but win him over. I am, however, comforted with the knowledge that he has, at one time or another, hated most of the DLF members. I am slightly crushed that he has felt the need to spit his dummy out, I do love a good scrap, as my shortage of body parts attest to. Dear BHB I shall, as every good stalker should, pay very close attention to you in the hope that some of that charisma, if not anything else, rubs off on me. Regards LFN

I know he's a drunken, occasional violent buffoon with the mental age of two, but surely it's not THAT dangerous to tell the world the latest from the Geordie ex-England & Lazio star's mouth. Provided of course, you have a good constitution to cope with the drinking binges one would have to undertake to unearth & thus announce the scoops. To what are you agreeing? Media coverage? That's he dead (I presume)? It's only because Monoclinic didn't actually state anything in the opening post to specifically agree with... Not one of your more usual elaborate replies, young Handy I meant I agreed with whoever had first answered in the poll that he was dead. I was also agreeing about the remote control comment as never having owned a telly I struggle to use the remote too. I'm not sure what you mean by "elaborate" a my posts are never that long. They probably just seem it as I'm usually replying to someone and I don't know how to snip the quotes bit. I dont gave a rats what you meant to say or whether you know how to "snip the quotes". As far as Im concerned anybody that uses a pic of Shari Lewis as their, on their ( i dont know what way is what) Avatar has exceptional taste and class. I LOVED Shari Lewis, gawd bless her

Oh dear Nothing worse than living near fans....fanatics? Fans or fanatics? Are they not borderline Cretins?

Thank you for the kind words. I automatically assumed that Windsor was a mod in the same way that I would assume a Swastika Jackbooted 1940s German soldier was a Nazi. We live and learn. PS: I made no assumption that all Mods here were Nazis, only Windsor ( German Blood and all that )

I did wonder whether it was prudent to actually respond to your post, just how the hell do you enter into anything remotely meaningful with a person who considers the word "Fellatio" and any innuendo within to be vulgar? You ask me what my intention is here? What the f**k has it got do do with you? You are one mod amongst many, you are no more important than anybody else, no more special, infact the only person who has made themselves look an arsehole here is you. What issue did you consider taking up with me? Would it have been my vulgarity? My lack of posts relevant to the forum? Not ribtickling enough for you? Not serious or sombre enough? What exactly rattled your cage? You grasp the word "vulgar" for dear life dont you. Look beyond the end of your nose sunshine and tell me what could be anymore vulgar than a site that treats the death of the famous and infamous like "Top Trumps" and has a complete dickhead swanning round using the family moniker of the most vulgar family on these shores, you know the ones, born to riches while the rest of us toil our arses off. Im here because, you excepted, there are some interesting ( to me, which is all that matters) people here whose take on life and death bring me back out of curiosity and fascination. I may not care too much for all here but I respect them for what they are and who they are, just people. I shall continue to remain here until...................... Im not concerned about you at all so dont concern yourself too much about me. Sod off and leave me alone. Thank You. PS: BHB, I like you!

Sir, You are quite correct, it was boring and is boring, who cares? Vulgarity? Yes of course. Comic Intention? You have none, how can you comment. Am I bored with it? Yes. Do I give a flying f**k what you think? No. Does anybody else give a flying f**k what you think? Probably not. Regards Lord FELLATIO Nelson. PS: Bollocks.

Ha Sucker!! Very amusing. American, I presume? Must be, as it wasn't very funny. Welcome aboard Admiral.Must be hard to keep track of all of your attributes so this might help. Madame, Thoughtful,intelligent,witty......... good grief MARRY ME!!!! Yours forever Fellatio PS: You can call me Fellate.....................

Dear Envious, I am not sure whether the size of your appendage will help you achieve moderator status, although it might possibly make you more popular amongst one or two of them. Ahem. Possibly. But you should join anyway, as being a knob has certainly never held anyone back around here. Look at me, for example. Despite being a complete and utter knob I managed to sweep the boards at the annual Monkey awards, gained a ludicrously named guest as a stalker and...erm...well, that's it really. So join, dear fellow, as you clearly possess all the qualities of being a grade one knob and therefore a worthy Death Lister. I think. Cheers, BHB Sir, I have joined. Lord Fellatio Nelson Ha Sucker!! Very amusing. American, I presume?

I know he's a drunken, occasional violent buffoon with the mental age of two, but surely it's not THAT dangerous to tell the world the latest from the Geordie ex-England & Lazio star's mouth. Provided of course, you have a good constitution to cope with the drinking binges one would have to undertake to unearth & thus announce the scoops. To what are you agreeing? Media coverage? That's he dead (I presume)? It's only because Monoclinic didn't actually state anything in the opening post to specifically agree with... Not one of your more usual elaborate replies, young Handy Sir, A damn fine post. PS: He is dead.

Stuff and nonsense!! Did anybody see me go to the newspapers because I lost an eye and a limb?! These girls today have no backbone. The things these girls do for publicity is quite disgraceful!! No longer is it good enough to get your Tits out or shag a pug ugly Footballer, oh, no, now you have to have some life threatening condition. The world has gone raving mad!

Dear Envious, I am not sure whether the size of your appendage will help you achieve moderator status, although it might possibly make you more popular amongst one or two of them. Ahem. Possibly. But you should join anyway, as being a knob has certainly never held anyone back around here. Look at me, for example. Despite being a complete and utter knob I managed to sweep the boards at the annual Monkey awards, gained a ludicrously named guest as a stalker and...erm...well, that's it really. So join, dear fellow, as you clearly possess all the qualities of being a grade one knob and therefore a worthy Death Lister. I think. Cheers, BHB Sir, I have joined. Lord Fellatio Nelson