Lord Fellatio Nelson

.....but you can see Cats ring in Leicester city centre every weekend if you ask nicely.

Is it true that he has requested ' If i had a hammer' to be played at his funeral?

Gary Numan. FFS, get yourself a wig that does not look utterly wank.

She hasn't done badly to be fair. She has proven that, at the ripe old age of 86, living off of a dead beatle is good for longevity. Let's now see her in the jungle on 'I'm a celebrity...' eating other bugs!!

You are just an old fashioned kinda gal, aren't you Toastie!

He cannot stand because his jewellery weighs about 400lbs and is pinning him down to his fuggin seat. The Booby has that look about her that you would also see in a 82 yr old Ex Navvy who still cross dresses, I am afraid to say. Well, actually, no, I'm not afraid to say.

That will be Yvonne. She always struck me as as being a bit shifty.

You almost convinced yourself there.

I have NEVER been interested in upping my post count. That is your speciality

Strange really. He is defined by every England football fan as a cheating cunt ( feted as a hero in Scotland ) who, over 30 years later, has still not said the immortal word SORRY to us all. The preoccupation with his 'flawed personality' has completely overlooked the reality that he is, in all probability, the greatest footballer who ever walked onto a pitch.

Purely for my own amusement. Seriously, you are not the kind of character worthy of stalking. As you were.

I try not to.

I had no idea R2D2 had found a lifetime partner.

How fitting that they managed to find the only Jag ambulance in the UK to cart him of to hospital in.

This has to be the biggest nose on the planet since Jimmy 'rink a dink on dat piano' Durante took his final curtain call. Fucking epic!!!

"Online dating" is a big enough clue to the mulitude of bell ends that require all the help they can get to meet somebody. Just another example of todays society that seem incapable of having a shit without the help of a support group. You, on the other hand, will be fine, I am sure there is a Robot just for you out there who will match your dynamic personality and analytical mind. Mebbeee there is a dating site for Vulcans.

Assuming that The Booby didn't do the tweet for him. He never was the picture of health and he always looked like a heart attack/pneumonia candidate even when he was running around race courses ranting and gesticulating to all and sundry. Mind you, if you were stupid enough to bet, he was your champion. Millions of woodbine smoking , flat capped punters around Yorkshire the country will lament his passing when he, eventually goes.

Just think If her mum had swallowed or spat it out, she may not have been created. That would have been one less human who required feeding, keeping warm, being clothed, farting into the atmosphere and, eventually, needing a home to live in before creating two more ( as an average) humans that would require the same again. Earths resources eaten up just a little bit more. Maybe she will do the right thing and be sterilised, thus helping to keep the worlds population down, by an example, and saving the world from children who would follow in her footsteps of being a smug sanctimonious cunt. Could work.

He always looked like he was 79 even when he wasn't 79.

I wouldn't bother too much. When you get your second referendum and vote for independence, you will have wee Jimmy to lead you all to the promised land.

I didn't laugh purely because I did not think it was particularly funny. If Jim Davidson had said 'Why do Pakistanis smell? So the blind can hate them too' he would have had every rent a quote in Westminster and all 'Offended of Kingston Upon Thames' all over him, pretty much finishing him for good but Carr? Pretty much fuck all apart from The Little People Charity expressing their dismay. We live in strange times.

What's that? I cannot remember.

It has never been seen as a particularly offensive word to me either Toastie. It would, however, be fair to say that its use in the modern day and age tends to be in a manner that puts the female beneath the ' boot of her master' if you see what I mean. Modern porn is littered with abusive porn where viewers are conditioned into the notion that women who fuck men are all bitches, sluts snd whores and should be treated considerably less than humans with brains. Its utterly abusive and I detest men who use that language. Unfortunately, that language has come out into the wider society and it stinks.

It's big WOMEN not bitches. I do utterly detest this modern day 'bitches and sluts' label that men, and I use that word in the weakest of terms, use when talking about women like they are bits of fuck meat. By all means lust but don't fucking talk about them as if they are somehow lesser than men. PS: Priti is pretty but wears that smug smile like a badge of honour. I still would though.

Evonne Goolagong?