Death Impends

Yes, deadpoolers, it’s this time again. 2023 has had departures from as sad as Tina Turner to as welcomed as Henry Kissinger, but there’s still two constants in this world: The Derby Dead Pool, and us laughing at whichever poor souls fall for Superstar Billy Graham again. Erm, okay, one constant. For 2024, @Banana and I are continuing in our previous posts. As for @gcreptile's announced retirement. We all can agree he has done a bang up job for the past four years entering the celeb deaths and sorting out bugs while never losing his trademark zen. As it stands he is still in talks with a potential successor and will remain on the committee for at least another month or so to assure a smooth transition, and we will keep you updated as that progresses. Dear Jimmy - either die in the next week, or go all the way to 2024 - love, Banana THE RULES remain the same as they have for the past few years. Be warned – Ruth Langsford mother falls afoul of our FFBI criteria. IMPORTANT REMINDER: The spreadsheet method of entry that began in 2021 remains in service. The 2024 spreadsheet, identical to the 2023 one in all but filename, can be found here. It is heavily recommended to use the spreadsheet as means of entry to reduce Banana's workload as much as possible. If you are absolutely unable to work with the Excel spreadsheet, still make sure to recheck GUN's DDP entry guide thread from 2020 to make the formatting of your email as smooth as possible.

It is a funny old game, if Timothy West died a week ago Prunella Scales would surely be part of the final 25 instead of the 7th out.

11/13/2024 33 Nigel Starmer-Smith 31 Esther Rantzen 31 Linda Nolan 31 Noam Chomsky 31 Joanne Woodward 30 Stanley Baxter 30 Roberta Flack 29 Norman Tebbit 29 Gene Hackman 28 Denis Law  28 Cleo Laine 28 Dick Van Dyke 28 Jimmy Carter +2 27 Sandy Gall 27 Alan Greenspan 27 Pete Murray  26 Ted Turner 26 Patricia Routledge  26 Dennis Skinner  26 Jean-Marie Le Pen 26 Tom Brokaw 25 Sonny Rollins  25 Mel Brooks +2 17 Hans Blix 15 Josef Fritzl 15 Vanessa Redgrave -5 00 Raul Castro -1 Eliminator Score: 19/20

11/12/2024 31 Noam Chomsky 31 Joanne Woodward 30 Roberta Flack 30 Ted Turner 29 Linda Nolan 29 Patricia Routledge 29 Norman Tebbit 29 Dennis Skinner 29 Nigel Starmer-Smith 29 Esther Rantzen 28 Cleo Laine 28 Dick Van Dyke 27 Sonny Rollins 26 Denis Law  26 Stanley Baxter 26 Jimmy Carter 26 Sandy Gall 25 Jean-Marie Le Pen 25 Gene Hackman 25 Alan Greenspan 24 Tom Brokaw 23 Vanessa Redgrave 22 Mel Brooks 21 Pete Murray 18 Josef Fritzl 17 Raul Castro  15 Pope Francis +4 15 Hans Blix 12 Imelda Marcos 09 James Whale -6 03 Buzz Aldrin Eliminator Score: 14/20

11/11/2024 31 Noam Chomsky 29 Ted Turner 29 Sonny Rollins 29 Jimmy Carter 28 Linda Nolan  28 Dennis Skinner  28 Cleo Laine 28 Roberta Flack 27 Norman Tebbit 26 Patricia Routledge 26 Esther Rantzen 25 Joanne Woodward 25 Stanley Baxter 24 Jean-Marie Le Pen 24 Pete Murray 24 Alan Greenspan 23 Imelda Marcos 23 Gene Hackman 22 Dick Van Dyke 22 Denis Law  22 Raul Castro 22 Vanessa Redgrave 22 Sandy Gall  22 Nigel Starmer-Smith  21 James Whale 21 Tom Brokaw 20 Mel Brooks 20 Josef Fritzl  19 Pope Francis +2 17 Hans Blix -1 15 Buzz Aldrin +2 12 Clint Eastwood 12 Willie Nelson 11 Desmond Morris 07 Brigitte Bardot 05 Sly Stone 00 Robert Duvall -5  Eliminated Score 9/20

11/10/2024 28 Noam Chomsky 27 Dennis Skinner 26 Joanne Woodward 27 Roberta Flack +1 26 Patricia Routledge 25 Jean-Marie Le Pen 25 Esther Rantzen 24 Linda Nolan  24 Stanley Baxter 23 Cleo Laine  23 Ted Turner 23 Dick Van Dyke  23 Gene Hackman 23 Sonny Rollins 23 Raul Castro 23 Norman Tebbit  22 Pete Murray 22 Alan Greenspan 22 Josef Fritzl  21 Imelda Marcos 21 Nigel Starmer-Smith  21 Sandy Gall  21 Tom Brokaw 21 James Whale 20 Denis Law 20 Willie Nelson 20 Hans Blix  20 Vanessa Redgrave  20 Mel Brooks 20 Jimmy Carter +1 19 Pope Francis +1 18 Brigitte Bardot 17 Desmond Morris 17 Buzz Aldrin +1 15 Sly Stone 13 Clint Eastwood  13 Robert Duvall 12 Tom Baker 11 Prunella Scales 11 Daniel Barenboim 05 Louis Farrakhan -6 4/20 eliminated

Oh yes, it's so late in the year that I get to join in the "don't fucking die in 2023 Jimmy Carter so I don't have a substitution headache" choir. Ryan Minor wouldn't have been a headache here, assuming everyone reads the rules. The outgoing Hartlepool Deadlypool saw us mourn popular figures like George Alagiah, Harry Belafonte, Shane MacGowan, Rosalynn Carter, and Tony Bennett, but they were all dwarfed by the absolute legends Daniel N. Paul, Helene Carrere d'Encaussee, and Juan Velarde Fuertes. Also those fuckers Rolf Harris and Henry Kissinger were proper points bonanzas. Same deal as usual. I aim to get all my Jan 1 deadpool teams in by Christmas, probably take care of it all today. Once that's done, I'll start entering PMed teams in addition to the publicly posted ones. Rules Points are scored according to the following highly complex scoring system: Competitors are awarded points according to the order in which their candidates die. The starting positions are as follows: Candidate 1: 50 points Candidate 2: 45 points Candidate 3: 40 points Candidate 4: 35 points Candidate 5: 30 points Candidate 6: 25 points Candidate 7: 20 points Candidate 8: 15 points Candidate 9: 10 points Candidate 10: 5 points When the first candidate dies, points will be awarded as above, and the remaining potential scores will slide up or down one position. If candidate 1 dies first, the team gets 50 points and the points below all increase by 5, so candidate 2 will get 50 points if he or she is the next to go. If a celebrity departs further down the list before the ones above are gone, the scores above are reduced by 5, causing the highest remaining score on the list to disappear. Those below will increase by 5 as before. This will often cause two celebrities to have the same number of points next to their names, but the order in which they die will still influence subsequent scores. Additionally, the player is allowed up to two substitutes. The substitutes will still count as part of the player's team, but use a fully different scoring system: 25 points if one substitute dies, 50 if the second substitute dies. Bonuses do not apply to substitute hits - this likewise means that subs will not take away a name's unique bonus if only one team has said name in their main ten. If a name on the player's team dies before the pool opens, they will not receive points for the death (barring a minuscule consolation point or two). They will be allowed to put a new name on their main team, either from the subs bench or a new name entirely. If a sub is promoted, they are entitled to name a new sub. Note that premature deaths are the only circumstances in which changes to a team are allowed. Otherwise, teams will be entered as originally submitted. If Scott Thorson announces hospice care after you've submitted, tough luck. I'm doing you a favor with that one, after all. As the host receives an email copy of any PMed teams as originally submitted, each email will be cross-checked before a team is entered - discrete edits to your PMed team will not sneak by! If a celebrity has unambiguously died within the deadpooling year, but a specific date of death is not provided, the latest plausible date of death will be used. This follows the precedent set by Leah Bracknell, who was a popular hit in 2019, but for many months her date of death was never elaborated beyond being in September. By the time her exact date of death was known, the 2019 HPDP was long-concluded and it would not have changed the winner anyway. I ultimately treated her as the last September hit, and any future hits in that vein will have a similar logic applied. Note that if details later emerge giving a person a specific date of death before the year's game is concluded, the scores will be adjusted accordingly. The Bonus System: Candidate not picked by any other competitor +2 Candidate under 18 years old -2 25th or less in line to the throne of Belgium, The Netherlands, Sweden or Denmark +2 Been on Celebrity Squares (or Hollywood Squares) +3 Death of candidate in spite of extremely high improbability or unlikeliness of same. +5 US Baseball or Basketball player -3 Former or present UK Prime Minister +3 Drummer +2 Former or present US president +3 Guilty (in Notapotato's opinion) of crimes against humanity +3 (with Notapotato rarely appearing, host Death Impends will use her own judgement for such cases) Both of the above +6 Has played in a pantomime +2 Has performed Morris dancing +3 Found dead in a Swimming Pool +3 Died in a farming or gardening accident +2 Death worthy of a Darwin Award +2 Murder, Suicide, Lightning +2 Dies on Notapotato's birthday (16th of May) +2 Death by Fire +2 Death by Water +2 Death by Bongo +6 The bonus is calculated according to the following simple formula: Bonus x (score gained from death divided by 5) Multiple bonuses multiply so a bonus of 3 and a bonus of 2 give together a bonus of 6. This makes negative bonuses extremely unattractive. So a bonus of 2 on a score of 40 gives you 2*(40/5)=16 Additionally, there will be a bonus of 50 points for coming in in 13th place in the Hartlepool Deadlypool. Unless there are only 13 or fewer entries. then there won't be. Nothing could be simpler. Oh yes, and there's an extra bonus of unspecified size payable on the first hit of the team which has the most interesting and unusual selection of celebrities. The host also reserves the right to reward further, minuscule bonuses to teams - often less than a point! 1. Dead means dead. No longer living: A bit like William Holden who having just been fished out of Gloria Swanson's swimming pool, died drunk and impoverished a mere 31 years later. Eligible for a death certificate. (A Munchkin is optional but may get a bonus) 2. For the purpose of the game a "celebrity" is someone well-enough known to get their death mentioned in one of the news sources host Death Impends deems qualifying for this pool: Anything that qualifies for the Derby Dead Pool The New York Times The Washington Post The Scotsman Canadian Broadcasting Corporation The Australian The Sydney Morning Herald Stuff.co.nz Le Monde Le Figaro Der Spiegel Die Zeit El Pais El Mundo Corriere della Sera la Repubblica 3. Only human beings may be submitted as candidates. Animals may take part in the dead pool, but may be ridiculed for doing so, and may not get any points. Unless they are cats with a long history of doing dead pools. Team names which sound like an animal such as "Donkey from Hell" or "Dead as a Parrot" are allowed, I suppose, but may be ridiculed. 3a. Strictly only one team per participant. The submission of teams in the name of domestic animals in an attempt to circumvent this rule is doomed to failure. And ridicule. 4. If a participant dies during the competition, unlike in some dead pools, they don't win the competition automatically. They may, however, get awarded a few extra points by way of consolation. And next year, a bonus will be named after you, perhaps. If you do die during the course of 2024, do drop us a line and let us know where you went wrong so others can avoid making the same mistake. 4a. For legal reasons, we are unable to actively encourage participants to murder or otherwise accelerate the deaths of their chosen celebrities. There is however no penalty in the Hartlepool Deadlypool for doing so. Your Procurator Fiscal or local alternative may see this differently though, so we recommend asking beforehand. 5. Anyone selecting the following types of names will be summarily ridiculed and very likely penalised in an arbitrary and unpleasant way should their candidates actually die or be killed: Famous For Being Ill names. The penalty incurred will be decided upon a name dying and obiting, and is dependent on the host's opinion of the degree of a name's FFBI-ness. A very select few, like Kate Granger to use a past example, I feel have transcended their illness to become a legitimate pick, and will receive no penalty. Those known for longevity are also not considered FFBI and will receive full points. Names who are proactive with their illness, but of a lower profile than the Granger types, will receive a moderate-to-severe penalty. If a name is "famous" solely for reasons such as an "inspiring" deathbed marriage or being in a coma, they will receive no points or perhaps even negative points! Fringes of Fame names are similarly subject to a penalty. I will likewise judge these names on a case by case basis upon death. If a name has some claim to fame independent of their relationship, I will likely be lenient - think Rayya Elias, whose news coverage in her final years was largely about Liz Gilbert's partnership with her, but was a published author in her own right. I will also be lenient with fringey names who have received a reasonable amount of media coverage prior to ill health - for instance, Roberta McCain was only noteworthy as John McCain's mother, but was a familiar media presence during his 2008 presidential campaign and had a standalone Wikipedia page since 2007. But if a Hollywood star makes a tearful post to Instagram about how their sister is terminally ill? If the sister never got much media attention pre-cancer, don't expect to gain a lot should she become a hit. Anyone under sentence of death or highly likely to be sentenced to death at the start of the year, unless they die by means other than execution Anyone missing in action at the time of entry submission, unless said MIA name is discovered to be alive, and dies later in the year 5a. And you won't be getting the extra bonus points for original and unusual picks if you don't come up with something a bit more original or unusual. 6. The deadline is 23:59 GMT on December 31. However, unlike most dead pools, teams may still be submitted post deadline - with the catch that any teams submitted January 1st and beyond are limited to 9 picks (plus two substitutes), and the highest-ranked name on your team starts with a value of 45 points. In fairness to those who entered in a timely manner, I will also forbid late entrants from including any currently unique names on their main team. Names that are entirely unpicked, only on subs benches, or on multiple main teams are fair game for inclusion. Because the subs bench has no impact on a pick's uniqueness, any name is fair game for inclusion on a late team's subs bench. 7. Though only deaths occurring up to December 31, 2024 are able to count as hits, the 2024 HPDP will officially close 23:59 GMT on January 7, 2025, to allow some breathing room for late-year deaths that might take a few days to accrue a proper obit.

Bit more half-arsed an update but gotta get things up to speed. John Amos - unique, Hollywood Squares - YorkshireBanker gains 20 base points and 24 bonus points, 44 total Christoph Daum - msc gains 25 points, CalebH 10, Etushispushingupdaisies 25 sub points Alberto Fujimori - unique, crimes against humanity - chilean way gains 35 base points and 42 bonus points, 77 total Kenneth Cope - unique, panto - Thatcher gains 20 base points and 16 bonus points, 36 total Barbara Leigh-Hunt - Bibliogryphon gains 50 sub points David Graham - DeathByArsenic gains 40 points, CaptainChorizo 35 Kris Kristofferson - unique - LizLemon gains 5 base points and 2 bonus points, 7 total Lily Ebert - CalebH gains 25 sub points Ethel Kennedy - Joey Russ gains 45 points, diego and ThereWillBeDeaths7 40, markb4 50 sub points Janey Godley - theoldlady gains 25 sub points The newest scoreboard arrives, with some new climbers into the top five but none cutting into Torva Messor's lead 1. Torva Messor 316.19 2. Perhaps 215.19 3. theoldlady 198.19 4. chilean way 196 5. Thatcher 191.19 6. MariNisia 191 7. BabyBlue 174.19 8. Banana 173 9. msc 169 10. livingbygrace 165 11. YorkshireBanker 164.19 12. diego 164 13. drol 160.19 14. wannamaker 160 15. BuffaloPhil 157 16. Charles De Gaulle 153 17. CalebH 147 18. CaptainChorizo 146.84 =19. John Key 140.19 =19. ladyfiona 140.19 21. Toast 140 22. Book 135.19 23. markb4 131 24. maryportfuncity 130 25. Pedro67 125.19 26. Hell 120.19 27. Etushispushingupdaisies 120 28. YoungWillz 119 29. DevonDeathTrip 118 30. An Fear Beag 105 31. Funeralopolis 100.19 32. arghton 98 33. justonecornetto 97 34. Captain Hemlock 95.19 =35. Sean 90.19 =35. The Unknown Man 90.19 37. The Old Crem 90 38. RadGuy 86 39. Grimgrass 83 40. Imelda 82.19 41. gcreptile 76.47 42. Bibliogryphon 75 43. Famous6Eva 67 44. Prophet 65.19 45. ThereWillBeDeaths7 65 46. DeathByArsenic 56.98 47. DeathBecomesThem 55 =48. GuyFromFuture 45 =48. Joey Russ 45 50. WEP 28 51. MalePoster 25 52. LizLemon 7 53. JoeMoneypenny 5 =54. Death Impends 0 =54. Gooseberry Crumble 0 =54. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 =54. TheKillingTime 0 =54. time 0 =54. WillyWonka422 0

I don't pay much attention to the news these days. I'm aware the results and its repercussions are bleak and I don't want to downplay them, but focusing on fun things instead has definitely been a mood saver. I'm going to enjoy my life, the fuckers out there want otherwise and I shant give them the satisfaction

We'll always have Jimmy Carter making 100.

She's there now.

All of these added now.

Watched it for the first time after Corman's death earlier this year, and was surprised Haze was still alive. Though Jackie Joseph still remains.

Excel's usual method is still not working for me but I found a work around. TTL up to date along with LotL/M, as always any names I missed let me know.

Hope to have next update soon... Alberto Fujimori Barbara Leigh-Hunt Christoph Daum David Graham Ethel Kennedy Janey Godley John Amos Lily Ebert All the hits since last time I can glean from the master list. Denys Graham pending QO. And Edna May Wonacott died off radar.

Just need to update TTL and List of the Missed for October now... Excel is getting gremlins when I tried to refresh the TTL data (this is an issue with my personal Excel, rather than DDP) so going to take a breather rather than stress myself out troubleshooting.

Deathrace Form Guide #5 Frankie Valli Walk like a man, mime like a bot for the Four Seasons man now entering his winter. Deadpoolers can't take their eyes off the lip syncing at recent concerts that will no doubt leave them beggin' to pick him in case he bids bye bye baby early 2025.

Wishing the best, arghton.

My favorite pizzeria loves playing the Rat Pack so I've got a big soft spot for those guys. Hound Dog would be my personal #1 though.

December 1st again? Seems each year goes by faster and faster, doesn't it? Now time is flying so fast that a DDP co-host was born late enough to make SpongeBob references, but I digress... But yes, fear not, the North Star of the deadpooling world that we call the Derby Dead Pool continues to light up this morbid little pocket of our lives and has opened its doors for its 27th edition. As we enjoy @msc 's final month of DDP obits, I will be taking over the front page role starting next year, joining @Grim Up North and @gcreptile on the committee. THE RULES are unchanged from this year's ie the FFBI disqualifications, wider net of QOs, etc all remain instituted. IMPORTANT REMINDER: The spreadsheet method of entry that began last year remains in service. The 2022 spreadsheet, identical to the last one in all but filename, can be found here. It is heavily recommended to use the spreadsheet as means of entry to reduce Grim Up North's workload as much as possible. If you are absolutely unable to work with the Excel spreadsheet, still make sure to recheck GUN's DDP entry guide thread from last year to make the formatting of your email as smooth as possible.

10/17/2024 31 Dean Martin — Volare 23 Elvis Presley — Hound Dog +4 04 Dean Martin — That’s Amore -6

10/16/2024 33 Dean Martin — Volare 28 Elvis Presley — Hound Dog +4 27 Dean Martin — That’s Amore -6

10/15/2024 32 Dean Martin — That’s Amore -6 32 Elvis Presley— Hound Dog +4 28 Dean Martin — Volare 22 Nat King Cole — When I Fall In Love

10/14/2024 32 Dean Martin — That’s Amore -6 30 Elvis Presley — Hound Dog +4 28 Nat King Cole — When I Fall In Love 23 Dean Martin — Volare 18 Elvis Presley — Heartbreak Hotel 15 Elvis Presley — King Creole

10/13/2024 26 Dean Martin — That’s Amore 22 Dean Martin — Volare 22 Nat King Cole — When I Fall In Love 21 Elvis Presley — King Creole 18 Elvis Presley — Hound Dog +4 17 Harry Belafonte — Banana Boat Song 16 Elvis Presley — Heartbreak Hotel 13 The Everly Brothers — Bird Dog 12 Frank Sinatra — (Love Is) The Tender Trap -6 07 Nat King Cole — Smile