Toast

Loving your optimism.

Not really a stretch, because what they do is exactly the same. One-man/woman show consisting of amusing monologues interspersed with poems. I've seen both live, so feel competent to judge. Both have published numerous volumes of poems. Pam is of course best known for her comic verse but her poems often have a serious point amongst the humour. Here's a seasonal one: Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money It was Christmas Eve on a Friday The shops was full of cheer, With tinsel in the windows, And presents twice as dear. A thousand Father Christmases, Sat in their little huts, And folk was buying crackers And folk was buying nuts. All up and down the country, Before the light was snuffed, Turkeys they got murdered, And cockerels they got stuffed. Christmas cakes got marzipanned, And puddin's they got steamed, Mothers they got desperate And tired kiddies screamed. Hundredweights of Christmas cards Went flying through the post, With first class postage stamps on those You had to flatter most. Within a million kitchens Mince pies was being made, On everyone's radio 'White Christmas', it was played. Out in the frozen countryside Men crept round on their own, Hacking off the holly, What other folks had grown. Mistletoe on willow trees, Was by a man wrenched clear, So he could kiss his neighbour's wife He'd fancied all the year. And out upon the hillside, Where the Christmas trees had stood, All was completely barren, But for little stumps of wood. The little trees that flourished All the year were there no more, But in a million houses, Dropped their needles on the floor. And out of every cranny, cupboard, Hiding place and nook, Little bikes and kiddies' trikes, Were secretively took. Yards of wrapping paper, Was rustled round about, And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms, With the pedals sticking out. Rolled up in Christmas paper The Action Men were tensed, All ready for the morning, When their fighting life commenced, With tommy guns and daggers, All clustered round about, 'Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men' The figures seemed to shout. The church was standing empty, The pub was standing packed, There came a yell, 'Noel, Noel!' And glasses they got cracked. From up above the fireplace, Christmas cards began to fall, And trodden on the floor, said: 'Merry Christmas, to you all.' And a perfectly serious one befitting Deathlist Woodland Burial Don’t lay me in some gloomy churchyard shaded by a wall Where the dust of ancient bones has spread a dryness over all, Lay me in some leafy loam where, sheltered from the cold Little seeds investigate and tender leaves unfold. There kindly and affectionately, plant a native tree To grow resplendent before God and hold some part of me. The roots will not disturb me as they wend their peaceful way To build the fine and bountiful, from closure and decay. To seek their small requirements so that when their work is done I’ll be tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun.

I wouldn't call Pam Ayres a "variety" performer either. She's a performance poet and has sold shedloads of books. Bit like John Cooper Clarke, although obviously very different in style.

Well, he was. Not so sure about Gary Glitter who also got a mention there.

Love Big Country. Went to see them again a couple of months back. Not the same of course, but still a cracking night out, and only £20.

No, we call it a cinema.

Is it Purple Rain and Sign Of The Times?

I don't understand the distinction. Movie is an American word for what we in the UK call a film. Same thing.

Does the artist appear in the films, or just on the soundtrack?

Correct!

Good shouts, but I do mean "a couple of years" as in 1987.

This song was performed at Live Aid in 1985. The same title was used for a song and album by an American artist a couple of years later.

Or in the meantime anyone can have a go - keeps up the momentum of the game. Be nice if people post a clip of the song when it's been guessed. (Apart from Little White Bull, of course)

"to cry so hard their makeup streaked down their faces" How could they tell?

Correct! 'She's Lost Control' was the B side.

I'm not sure if it's the song itself that's so horrible, or just Tommy Steele's delivery of it. Anyway This 1980 song was a first ever UK chart entry for its female solo artist. It was written by another female artist, lead singer of a band, and included on an album by them in the same year. The B side was a cover of a Joy Division song.

Yeah, cos Ike and Tina Turner and Bruce Springsteen are soooo British, aren't they. Nothing to stop you setting a song puzzle yourself.

Aha! It's a crossword-type clue. Ike and Tina Turner, River Deep Mountain High

Correct. This song gives me chills. Deserves to be better known. "Sister, I won't ask for forgiveness; my sins are all I have."

No, but Streets Of Philadelphia is indeed the other song mentioned in the clues.

Keep going, you're almost there. Song has the same title as the film.

Just a reminder that these two haven't been solved yet.

Katie Melua & Eva Cassidy, What A Wonderful World in 2007?

No. To clarify, the song was nominated for an Oscar but didn't win.