TAFKAG

Or you could try Pierre Bayard's excellent, thought-provoking and amusing How to Talk about Books that You Haven’t Read. Quite right, I haven't read it.

Veteran actress Kathleen Byron has died. She starred in three Powell & Pressburger films in the 1940s, appeared in Saving Private Ryan, Emma and The Elephant Man and had bit parts in just about every UK TV series known to man, including Emmerdale Farm, Blake's Seven, Heartbeat, Minder, Take Three Girls, The Avengers, Dalziel & Pascoe, The Bill, Howards' Way, Z Cars, Casualty and Midsomer Murders. Anyway, she's dead now.

We'd better be careful what we say about Bumboy or we could be the next Simon Mann.

If you're at a loose end, here are 1,000 novels you might like to read. One a week and you'll be done in about 20 years.

You're right, but in the wrong way! so we all agree.....no more mention of " ...... "The Great One EVER on this site ever again ??? Like Clive, she should be a permanent fixture on the DL. I'd hate to think of us missing out on the most evil, damaging British 'human' of the last 100 years. The outpouring of unbridled joy nationwide when she dies will be something beautiful to behold. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

Apparently the passengers included Ronnie Biggs, Patrick Swayze and Fidel Castro. Oh well ... There's talk of giving a medal to the heroic pilot, a Captain C Dunn.

Low-hanging rotten fruit falls into the dust to be eaten by feral dogs.

Wow, Aussies have so much time on their hands they actually officially appoint their National Treasures, instead of just calling them out in the redtops, like we do here in Blighty. This sounded like a good idea until I checked out the list, The Kangaroo Court and there's like about a hundred of them. Rolf Harris, Dame Edna, Russell Crowe, Greg Norman and Nicole Kidman are all on there, but when you annoint about a third of the population as National Treasures, it loses some of its specialness. So who are Britain's National Treasures? Besides Chezza Cole, I mean. Thatcher and Branson, according to the Torygraph. Jools Holland?! f**k right off. Some might say Babs Windsor or Michael Palin, but I say Clive Dunn.

Hello, my friend; You’re on my mind, Because you're somehow ailing, But your response to any challenge Has always been unfailing. So I’m confident you’ll win again; Hang in there, and you’ll see; You’ll be back on top in no time, Killing Jews Tackling life courageously. My heart is reaching out to you, For what you’re going through; I’m thinking of you frequently And praying for you, too. If there’s something I can do, Anything at all, Think of me thinking of you, And don’t hesitate to cut off their bollocks and feed them to call.

A good break-off for the DDP snooker team. I'd be happy to see their sour-faced joker join Vine, but I fear that Whispering Ted Lowe's their most realistic future chance. And Alex Higgins, of course.

At least we won't go uninformed about the pigrim's progress over the next however many months or years. Michael Crichton she is not.

Kind thoughts and words on the internet, from adoring fans numbering millions, would mean so much more for Patrick, than they would for Robbie Williams. Yes, Yvonne, please try and write something original. Never mind, Yvonne, I'm sure Paddy will soon be scampering merrily over that Rainbow Bridge. Or does he have to be a chihuahua or a goldfish for that?

I'm a bit late on this...2008 wasn't a great year. Anyway my gf and I, both fans of modern art and me a member of the Tate, popped in to the Turner Prize exhibition after seeing the Francis Bacon one (various pictures of ugly meat). At the end, there was a room with two large tables strewn with daubed paper - evidently it was a room where you could record your opinions of the exhibition. Both of us independently thought it was one of the entries. In my opinion, it should have won. In case you think I'm pandering to the populist vote, I went to the Cy Twombly exhibition three times - loved it and even bought the t-shirt. Did they have any of these?

Happy 89th birthday, Mr Dunn. One more tiny step on the road of eternal life.

He's brown bread.

Darts player Shaun Greatbatch is competing at the BDO version of the world championships despite undergoing treatment for multiple myeloma. Ooh, I feel like DevonDeathTrip.

Is he not a Monty Python fan then?

Ay carumba! Ela está morta?!¿¡ (Edit: Inglês Link) Hooray para Henry, ele é o número 18 mais antigo no mundo!¡!

JD turned 90 yesterday, the day after being kicked off the DL for being way too damn exciting, and celebrated by inviting the world's media and anyone who felt like toddling along to a massive knees-up at his house. Attendees included Harry Morgan, Vincent O'Brien, Kim Jong-il and Pinch Me Chapstick, and a three-hour TV spectacular featuring extensive footage will be shown on primetime any day now.

2 pints semi-skimmed milk Butter 5lb Jersey Royal potatoes Fresh tarragon Medium-sized chicken (with giblets) Angostura bitters Rainbow trout Gentleman's Relish (joker) Les Closiers Châteauneuf-du-Pape 2006 (case) Purple cauliflower Cox's Orange Pippin x4 1/2lb Wiltshire ham 100w lightbulb (bayonet) Ribena Cracked black peppercorns Half a dozen free range eggs 2 aubergines Organic stock New York-style cheesecake Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, CBE

Havelange still active in sports admin circles and still scoffing down those free lunches. Talking of FIFA, I wouldn't mind Sepp Blatter pegging it.

Seems a strange choice for DL 2009, does BB. Only 83 and played at The Kennedy Center Honors Awards last month. On the plus side, at least there should be the occasional article about him worth posting, unlike Pincher, Lom, Niemeyer, Shamir, CLS et al.

Nice to see John Martyn getting a New Year Honour. Sadly, he misses out on a Monoped of the British Empire, but receives the consolation of an 'Opper of the British Empire. However... I'd want a f*****g knighthood for that.