TAFKAG

Well, that's a relief. Now we just need to convince Jo Public that voting in a bunch of clueless toffs over here in a year or two won't be the answer to her credit crunch ills. There's still time, but I fear the worst.

Will this thread be changed to 'Barack Obama - How Long Will He Live' tomorrow?

It was fun while it lasted, but DNA tests have proved that dem dry bones are Fossett's. I suppose it's feasible that he could've sawn off his legs and scuttled away into the mountains and a hermitic existence, though hunter-gathering could be tough.

Has Glock been offered Kovalainen's seat at McLaren yet?

Here's 'Kim Jong-il' photographed 'watching a football match', 'recently'. After the match, he bought a 'large portion of chips' which he then 'pissed on'.

W-w-wha-...owww, me fookin' 'ead... some Meccano Man fooker spiked me lager... here le-go, here le-go, here le-go... ah hello, Occifer...

A man of the touching cloth by the time he'd reached hospital.

Especially for MPFC, here's a very long article about Hogan's troubled upbringing in Bristol. No mention of any current suicidal tendencies, I'm afraid.

Megrahi applies for bail.

Fell on his pork sword.

He may well drop dead tomorrow, but he looked ok for an 85-year-old in a rare TV interview on Channel 4 News today.

Maybe not a great overall body of work, but he more than held his own playing it straight opposite Burt Lancaster in The Sweet Smell of Success and playing for laughs with Lemmon & Monroe in Some Like it Hot, two undeniably superb movies.

These shenanigans make one appreciate the DL selection method all the more - if five or six old buffers in a pub want to pick Chapman Pincher or Oscar Niemeyer from now until eternity they will, and nothing anyone says hereabouts will make the slightest odds.

TAFKAG, I'll try and keeper this on topic. Do you think when the lever or trigger is given a paul, robinason of a father, a goal has been achieved? Or should a trench be dug, filled with alcohol, I would choose Gordons, banks high enough to prevent escape to victory, then throw in a match? Then we could watch the magnificent ditchburn. Oh, I am such a buffon, to be frank. Swift ly moving on...etc. Young man, young man, keep yer shilt on... I think I'd better put a sprake on this before we confuse the poor Americans (and everyone else) even moore more.

They've got at least a week. Only a ray clemency plea from UN peace envoys xzandra, Vaagheid and BC Alum can save them now.

It could be make or break for Seve as he undergoes all-day surgery after "suffering a brain haemorrhage". He has two tumours, one benign and one malignant, in a "very deep part" of the brain.

Mr Backache was on the Electric Prom last night looking mighty spry for an 80-year-old. Kind of a bizarre cross between and Nice tunes, shame about the horrible chicken-in-a-basket milieu.

... he gotta make out with the young, 'cause tramps like him, baby they were...

Sky Sports News is reporting the death of former Luton chairman, Tory MP and Thatcher pal David Evans, but I can't find a link yet. Not a man who endeared himself to many football fans' or liberals' hearts, the ID-cards-and-plastic-pitch-loving, hanging's-too-good-for-'em arsehole. A man who reeked of the 1980s.

The final page has been turned for top literary agent and Julian Barnes's wife, Pat Kavanagh.

Bang on brother! And the best bat.